Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Chapter 13: Creep-Part 2

A/N:  Here's another update. I know the last one left you sad, but this one is pretty hopeful. Would you believe me if I tell you it ends with a Babydoll and Donward lemon? A few months go by in just this one chapter. I don't like to drag out a fic where E and B are apart forever. I had to tweak the Prologue so that this all makes sense, so go back and re read. Please play around the blog and enjoy. Read the information on bipolar disorder I posted under DISH

Don't think Edward is getting off easy. This will be a long journey for them both. Thanks to all the reviewers last chapter. 

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special



“They’re so beautiful. My mind didn’t do them justice,” I mumbled, staring down at a brand new picture of Dante and Bella playing at the beach.

The last week had been hell, but it was all worth it for this reward. Bella looked on happily while Dante sat between her legs tapping a plastic shovel against the sand. They both seemed d so carefree and young. If I didn’t fucking know better, I might have thought Bella was just some teen girl babysitting someone else’s baby.

Dr. Crowley typed something on his Ipad before looking up at me. “You look more alive than I’ve seen you since you arrived. Your family certainly has a positive effect on your countenance.”

Sighing, I sat down in the chair he offered. “I messed up so badly…they’re never going to forgive me. I thought…I thought pushing them away would make everything better but…”

“It backfired,” he finished blandly.

“At least they’re happy without my sorry ass.”

The doctor leaned forward and pointed to the picture. “Look again.”

Slowly, I looked down at the photo. This time I could see the bags under Bella’s eyes and strain around her mouth. Plus, Dante wasn’t really playing--he was throwing a small tantrum. Just like me, my family had learned to pretend to be happy without the actual emotion.


Dr. Crowley nodded. “Things are not always how they appear on the surface. It’s easy to hide but being yourself is much harder. Why do you think Bella is pretending?”

I shrugged. “She doesn’t want anyone to worry about her. She’s so fucking selfless.”

“Do you think being selfless is a good trait?”

“I guess in some situations but not when it’s causing her pain.”

Crowley wrote down something else on his Ipad. “This session is over. I want you to think about what you just said and write your thoughts in the journal. Have a good night, Mr. Cullen.”

Soon, the psychiatric technician grunt led me back to my padded room. Because I was still a suicide risk, I wasn’t allowed to decorate. The only possession besides my bed was a Mac laptop, with no wireless internet, which I used to type my personal journal.

After taking the pills the tech handed to me, I sat down on my bed and began typing feverishly. These new deep thought sessions were very hard for me because I was used to internalizing so much of my life. For the first time in forever, I felt like I didn’t have to hide.

At eleven, some fucker came to make sure I was headed to bed. I had a strict set schedule which was supposed to help with my healing process. Lucky for the fucker, I didn’t want to pick a fight.

The next day was more of the same. I had breakfast, intense therapy, introspection, art, and meals. My earlier good behavior had given me a half an hour workout period on my schedule, so I used that time to lift weights and shoot the shit with the other patients whom were almost all Mafia men, too.

I carried Bella and Dante’s picture everywhere with me. If I felt like losing my shit or trying to escape, I’d just look down at it and change my priorities. I’d royally fucked up my own life but to know my wife and son were so broken really messed with my head.

One of the strangest things I’d learned was that I liked painting. At first, I had thrown the shit all over the room and stomped out. After that little stunt, I’d been put back in the straitjacket until I apologized to the elderly art teacher. She hadn’t deserve that shit, and I was truly sorry.

Shortly after, we were told to paint something which made us feel afraid. Men like us didn’t really like to admit to weakness, so I was surprised when everyone began the assignment before me. It didn’t take long for the competitive spirit in my blood to rise, and the picture flowed out like blood from my fingertips.

“Who is this man, dear?” Mrs. Snyder asked, peeking over my shoulder at the easel.

“Edward Masen Sr. You said to paint the thing that scares us the most…it's my father.”

She quietly patted my back and moved on to the next patient. I’d chosen to depict Edward Sr. as garish as he’d been in real life, with his multiple expensive Rolex and tailored Gucci suits. I’d even added a few faceless bitches in the background to make it seem more realistic.

I was more than a little surprised when the paintings were unveiled. More than a few men were scared of women--whether it was their daughter, wife, mother, or sister. No one had painted death or guns, things fuckers like us saw daily.

At four, I was sent for my daily session with Crowley. He always looked pensive when I walked into the fucking room, like I was a puzzle to be solved. There was just something about the man that freaked me out.

“I’ve been reading your journals. I’m a little shocked at what you’ve written.”

I slumped and began chewing my nails, a habit I’d picked up here. “Why?”

“There are many things. First of all, your self worth is one of the lowest I’ve ever come across.”

“I’m a piece of shit. It’s not rocket science.”

Crowley wrote something down before continuing. “Secondly, you don’t really trust anyone.”

“I trust Bella.”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t. You didn’t trust her to be able to handle your disorder or infidelity. You just hid it all until it became blatantly obvious to everyone.”

“Fuck you!”

“Lastly, you’ve put Bella on such a high pedestal no one would ever be worthy of her affections. She’s practically a deity in your eyes.”

“My wife is perfect, and she’s my only angel in this Hell.”

Crowley’s obsidian eyes bored into mine. “Bella is a human woman with flaws just like the rest of us, Edward.”

Hearing her name come out of his mouth sent me over the edge. I fucking punched him in the jaw. He could say whatever he wanted about me, but my babydoll was off limits. He was fucking out of line, and I didn’t care if they took away all my goddamn privileges for my reaction.

I was in a blind rage by the time security came to pull me off of the motherfucker. Dr. Crowley had played college football at some big ten school, so he was by no means a lightweight. He’d been able to hold me off until backup arrived. Knowing I couldn’t really hurt him just make me angrier.

“I’ll fucking kill you,” I snarled, kicking over a chair.

“See you in a few days, Mr. Cullen,” he replied casually, as if we were having another basic session.

I refused to calm down, so they put me back in the straitjacket. I muttered and cursed in Italian the whole time. Later when dinner was brought to me, I threw it in the small wastebasket I’d been given. I wanted to get the fuck out of this loony bin and fast.

When bedtime came, I took all the pills they gave me. Unfortunately, I still had trouble sleeping. I stayed up thinking about what Doctor Crowley said about my babydoll. She was perfect, wasn’t she? Bella never intentionally hurt anyone.

No one bothered me the next day except to shove food or pills in my mouth. I felt like shit, so I didn’t fight. The more I thought about it, the more I understood Crowley hadn’t insulted Bella. He’d just questioned my views on her as a person. Maybe I had put her on a pedestal. She’d once accused me of the same thing in Italy after I beat up some asshole for touching her without permission.

The next day, I was taken out of the straitjacket and allowed to eat breakfast with the other patients. Not surprisingly, more than half the ward had been friends with my father. They treated me like a favored son or grandson in some cases. When I got sick of hearing lies about what a great guy my dad had been, I went to sit in the garden.

“Calmed down have you? We missed you in art class,” Mrs. Synder said, taking a seat beside me. The guards in the yard moved closer, but she didn’t seem to care.

“You probably don’t miss me.”

She laughed lightly and adjusted her jacket. “Edward, do you realize the painting you did of your father looks almost exactly like you?”

Did it? “That’s how I remember him.”

“We don’t have to turn into our parents. My own father was a drunken tyrant and my mother was his whipping post. I'd like to think I ended up better than both of them.” I sat and pondered her words as she left.


Three weeks down. After a written and verbal apology to Dr. Crowley and the staff and a week of solitude, I’d been allowed to resume my old schedule. I worked harder than ever at the gym and on my paintings. I even volunteered in the kitchen a few times so I could learn how to cook something special for Bella when I got released.

I felt good and most of my outside scars had healed. I’d grown a heavy beard, so my newest reward was being allowed to shave--with supervision of course. It was nice to get the fucking scruff off my face. I even fucking laughed when I thought about what Bella would think if she saw me all hairy and shit.

When I got to Crowley’s office, I noticed that he’d set up a television. Immediately, I knew that I was in for an intense session. I took the picture of Bella and Dante out of my pocket to give me strength.

“Hello, Edward. Your family has been kind enough to record videos of why they want you to get help and return a better man. I debated showing you these at this stage, but I think you need some motivation and positive reinforcement. Shall we?”

I nodded, watching him turn on the screen. The first faces brought tears to my eyes…Esme and Carlisle. They talked about being proud of my progress. Unbeknownst to me, Mrs. Synder had sent them one of my garden paintings. Mom cried throughout the whole video while Carlisle comforted her and gave me words of encouragement.

“I thought they hated me after everything…” I didn't like to fucking cry but that shit had been emotional.

He shook his head. “They wouldn’t give up on you that easily. You’d be surprised at the tongue lashings I’ve gotten from various family members who wanted to visit you. You’re a very lucky man.”

Everyone made an appearance, except for Jasper. I didn’t expect him to care whether I lived or died after all the shit I’d done to his sister, but a part of me still hurt. I had a long way to go in terms of recovery, and perhaps some bridges were too burned to be repaired.

The last person on the screen made my heart stop. “Bella,” I whispered, leaning forward eagerly. She was wearing a pretty sage green dress and her mahogany hair was up in a complicated twist. I physically ached to hold her in my arms again.

“Edward, I… There’s so much between us. I just want you to know that I still care—that I’ll always care for you. Dante and I love you, but we can’t be your reason to heal. You have to do this for yourself.

Dr. Crowley paused the tape for a few minutes so I could wipe my eyes “Are you sure you can handle the rest?”

I nodded. “Put it back on.”

“I don’t want to give you false hope, because we won’t be married much longer. I just… I just want you to get better so you can be in our lives. This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I can’t coddle you anymore. It’s time you stand on your own two feet. Get well and come home soon,” she pleaded, looking straight into the camera.

After a long talk with the doctor, I was exhausted. I barely ate anything at dinner and avoided the other patients. I needed time to think and write in my journal. Bella had made it very clear she wanted a divorce, but she wasn’t kicking me completely out of her life. Could I live with just being her friend?

The next day in art we were asked to paint a portrait of something that made us happy. I began a picture of Bella and Dante with angel wings but scrapped it, and instead began drawing them as they were even adding drool for my son. I painted Bella’s freckles and her stubborn chin as well as her soft curves and beautiful hair.

“Very good, Edward,” Mrs. Synder whispered, smiling affectionately at my painting.

By six, I was actually looking forward to dinner. Our institution was upscale, so we had actual chefs whom made edible food. I’d worked hard on the bisque and was curious to what everyone would say about it. Thankfully, it was a hit. I marked the recipe as one I could make for Bella and Dante.

The next day flew by, and before I knew it I was in therapy. Crowley wanted to talk about my past today, so I was already weary. No matter what happened, I’d vowed not to fly off the handle and get my ass put back in that motherfucking straitjacket.

“Have a seat. Tell me more about the day you turned fourteen.” I cringed. We’d talked a little about my sexual history in previous sessions.

“My father always went out all out on birthdays, whether it was for friends or family members. He’d already given me a whore for my thirteenth, so he wanted to top himself…” I took a sip of water. “Mom wanted to throw me a party with my classmates with cake and video games, even a dance.”

“Sounds nice,” Crowley mumbled, making notes.

“Yeah. My father won in the end. He had his chauffeured Rolls Royce pick me up from school. I thought he’d be in the backseat waiting, but I was alone. The driver had been instructed not to tell me where we were going, but I wasn’t really nervous.”

“Why weren’t you worried?”

“Because my father always took me to the best places and got me the best shit.”


I sighed heavily, lost in the past. “The car pulled into the private garage of some house by the lakefront. I remember seeing a man and his son fishing nearby—I wished it was me and my father, but we didn’t do things like that together.

“The driver took me inside and left me. There were five bitches dressed in expensive lingerie sitting around the living room. All eyes turned to me as I entered the room, and they began simpering and licking their lips. I’d already been with a few women by then but never that many at once…”

“Take a minute,” Crowley commanded gently.

I squeezed the water bottle until it popped. “My father walked into the room holding some bullshit designer cake which looked better than it tasted. He asked me to make a wish and watched proudly as I blew out my candles. Then…then, he told me that the bitches were mine for the weekend. He said he’d tell mom we were camping but really he planned to spend the weekend with his latest mistress.”

“How did you feel?”

“I was happy at the time. What teenage shithead doesn’t want pussy?”

“Did you feel like you could say no?”

“Not really. I always wanted to make my old man proud.”

“Go on.”

I sighed, running my fingers through my thick hair. “I fucked them all in various ways. My father had forbidden hard drugs until I was sixteen, but he had allowed them to give me weed. I stayed high and fucked all weekend until he came to get me.”

“What do you plan to do when Dante turns fourteen?”

The answer came out of my mouth before I could process it. “Let his mom throw him a party with his friends and take him fishing. I just want to take him fishing.”

I slept poorly that night and the next. The doctor upped my medication. I didn’t really have much energy--I’d been told it was a normal side effect for someone just beginning treatment. I wasn’t really too angry, because I needed to rest.


After six weeks, I was finally being released. My therapy sessions with Dr. Crowley would continue long distance and Dr. Uley would be my in person Psychiatrist. I was given meds along with instructions about diet and exercises which could be beneficial to people with bipolar disorder. Overall, I was nervous but also optimistic about going home.

Mrs. Snyder was particularly sad to see me leave. She wouldn’t take the fucking check I’d tried to give her, so I’d spent the last week painting her a picture of the raging ocean. She had loved it and thanked me with a kiss on the cheek.

Dr. Crowley and three guards were waiting for me in his office. One of them shut the door after I took a seat. They shared a look with each other. Then Crowley nodded. I was just about to ask what was happening when I felt myself being forcefully held down and strapped back into the straitjacket.

“Get the fuck off of me! I haven’t done anything,” I yelled, squirming to get free.

“We’ve decided to keep you for the duration, Mr. Cullen. Your Godfathers have given us express permission. You will be released by the time State Senate goes into session this fall.”

I snarled. “You fucking lied to me! I’m supposed to go home today.”

Dr. Crowley leaned over my head, which was being pressed into the desk by the biggest goon. “How do you feel right now?”

“How the fuck do you think I feel? I’m being forced to do shit against my will. I’m fucking scared, okay. I don’t know what you want from me. I feel like everyone has been lying. Fuck!  Just…let me go.”

“Release him,” Crowley said, walking across the room.

I rubbed my sore shoulders. “There was no need for this shit. I haven’t needed the jacket in weeks.”

“I want you to remember how you felt just now, because I’m sure it’s exactly how Bella felt when you tried to rape her. She had to have been scared and felt betrayed. I want you to write her a long, heartfelt apology on the plane ride home. Good luck, Edward. We’ll be in touch,” he promised, holding out his beefy hand.

I shook it gratefully. In my own way, I kind of liked the fucker. “I’m sure we will. Thanks…for everything.”

Di was waiting for me when I got out. She kissed my cheeks and took me home to the mansion for lunch. I nodded and ate while she filled me in on everything that had been going on during my absence. I was shocked to learn Bella had picked out the cities for her book tour, and that the book had moved up the bestseller list.

“I’m fucking proud of her,” I mumbled while reading an interview she gave to a local blog.

“Me too, bambino. She’s really been strong. I was out there last weekend, and we had a spa day with the girls. Dante is so big! I would have stayed longer, but Marcus needs me to handle things here while he’s gone.”

I frowned. “Hey, I can…”

She tut-tutted and poured more Parmesan over my pasta. “No you can’t. I have a large group of men under my command and Caius has been home the last few weeks. I’m tougher than I look. Go home and see your family. I’ll be just fine.”

After lunch, Caius and Di drove me to the airstrip. I’d been given two new guards whom were practically pit bulls. I wasn’t allowed to even take a drink of water unless they sniffed it, and all my shit had been thoroughly searched. I had a long way to go to earn back mi famiglia’s trust.

“Ti amo, Di,” I said, hugging her tightly.

“Kiss my little angel and daughter-in-law for me. I love you, Edward.”

Caius had to stay so he gave me some kind words and asked me to go say hi to Athenadora and Penny when I got time. I promised him I would and let him kiss my cheek. He held me close, studying my face for a long time before waving me away.

Later while on the plane, I began writing my apology to Bella. It was fucking jumbled and all over the place, but the most honest things I’d told her in a long time. I just hoped she would accept it and that it would help her heal.

We arrived in Seattle a little after nine. I wanted to go straight to Bella, but we’d all decided it would be best if I stayed with Esme and Carlisle, at least for the first week. The house was my babydoll’s and if she didn’t want me there, I wasn’t allowed to be there.

My parents picked me up and fussed over my progress. My Phantom now belonged to Bella, so they drove me. Di told me Marcus officially had Jenks make Bella the lead on all our accounts and assets. Legally she could sell my Phantom if she wanted, but I hoped she’d let me try to earn it back.

“You look much better,” Carlisle said as we walked upstairs.

“Thanks. I feel pretty good. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”


“Damn it, Jane, is he looking at her tits?” I’d been home for two weeks. Bella wasn’t ready to see me yet, so I’d been basically stalking her ass from afar.

“I’m hanging up on you now. From what I’ve seen, Giles is a gentleman. I would step in if Bella wasn’t safe!”

I rolled my eyes and put the phone away. “Deep breaths,” I murmured. Stress management was my fucking savior lately.

Gina walked into the office, took one look at me, and walked back out. I didn’t work alone with her anymore, but I hadn’t fired her because I wanted to make her life a living hell. She already had to submit to weekly mandatory drug tests, same as me. We’d both been wrong and done awful shit, but she’d made me a prize to be won from Bella.

Jasper and Demetri were holding down the club. I wasn’t allowed within a mile of HADES, or I’d be sent back to the white padded room. Truthfully, I didn’t miss it. The club used to be my life, but  it just wasn’t important anymore.

“Did you fax the fucking papers to Polaris,” I barked at one of my new lowly interns. The fucking geek almost dropped his triple shot of shit froo-froo drink.

“I’ll get right on that, Mr. Cullen.”

I knew I was hell to work for, so I was planning to give some of the fucking grunts actual jobs as soon as they graduated college.  According to Marcus, I was not allowed in Mafia business until I showed long-term improvement. Fortunately, State Senate duties and my newly set up corporations kept me busy.

Emmett’s Psychotherapy practice had really grown, so he’d rented space in Dr. Uley’s building--which meant we were all pretty close. I frequently had lunch with my brother. I’d forgotten how fucking funny and smart he was when you got to know him.

“What the fuck is that?” I asked pointing to the huge salad he’d just opened. I’d had a small dining area set up in my office for the days when we didn’t want to go out.

“Rose wants another baby. The doctor says I need more vitamins to…you know.”

I chuckled, opening the large Sicilian-style pizza I’d ordered. “Can you at least have one slice?”

He practically threw the salad aside, moaning after he took a bite of the first piece. “Mmmm, greasy sausage and spicy pepperoni. Don’t tell Rose.”

Surprisingly my sister-in-law had been pretty nice since I’d returned home, so I made sure Emmett ate some of the damn salad--even having some myself. I envied my bother because he had a wife who loved him and hope for more children.

“So...everything still going well? You know you can talk to me.”

I smirked, pouring myself a glass of sparkling lemon water. “I’m good, man. The Lithium and anti-psychotic combo isn’t too bad.”

He nodded. “Any horrible side effects?”

“I’m thirsty all the fucking time.”

“The lifestyle changes you’ve made will definitely help. There are so many successful men and women with families who have learned to manage bipolar disorder. Stay away from the drugs and alcohol, and you’ll be fine.”

After lunch, we made plans to go running during the weekend. Emmett had always been big on fitness, and it was one of the things my doctors recommended for my treatment. If I was going to have to watch my babydoll from afar, at least I could look good.

Later, Jenks came to my office. Bella and I were still legally married, but she didn’t want to be so I’d talked her into a trial separation instead of a full divorce. Deep down I knew that it was inevitable, but I figured she was giving me time to get my shit straight.

“The papers are all drawn up. I can get Bella’s signature myself or you can deliver the papers. I personally think it’s better to come from the spouse, but it’s your call.”

“Thanks. I’ll deliver the papers if she’ll see me. Give me a few days.”

He went over the terms of the legal separation which both Bella and I had spent the last few weeks drawing up. We didn’t meet together, but Jenks negotiated for us. I was only allowed supervised visits with my son and no overnights until I’d had more time clean and sober. My babydoll had sole custody. Spousal support was paid to me because she held all the accounts. I got a weekly allowance from my wife and only used it for necessities.

All of a sudden, Jenks began to look uncomfortable. “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but Bella would like your clothing account budget cut in half. She says you have enough silk shirts.”

I threw my head back and laughed heartily. “Tell her I said okay. I’m actually running out of places to put all my suits and ties.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and passed me a pen. “I think you’ve both handled this well and put your child first. There won’t be a problem getting court approval once Bella signs.”


A week later, I got to see my wife--unfortunately, it wasn’t under the best circumstances. I’d been having dinner with some political contributors and Caius when I received phone calls from Felix and Jane. As soon as I'd read the first message, I'd begged Cai to let me go to her. Nodding, he had a car and chauffer sent around to the front. Panicking, I took my fucking pills and tugged on my hair while the driver maneuvered through Friday night traffic.

The minute we pulled up to the club, I was out of the car. There were fucking douchebags everywhere and some bitches looked hopeful. I tossed the bouncer some cash and stood aside while he opened the door for me amidst boos from the crowd.

The fucking place was loud as hell and the strobe lights gave me a headache. It didn’t take long to find my wife, because she was in the center of the room grinding with assholes while Jane tried to keep them off of her ass. Heads would roll for this shit.

Angrily, I pushed some dickhead aside and grabbed my babydoll’s arm. "Come on, Bella. We're going home. What the fuck has gotten into you? You're here with your ass hanging out... Is this any way for a wife and mother to behave?" The shit she was wearing barely classified as clothing.

She snorted. “"Why do you care? Fuck off, Edward."

 “I care because you’re my wife!" I screamed, lifting her into my arms.

Some giant motherfucker came to see if Bella needed help but Felix took him aside. I saw my babydoll look to Jane, but Jane didn’t come to her rescue. I just wanted to get my babydoll out of the shithole and away from leering eyes.

When we got outside she made me put her down in the fucking private exit alleyway. Then we just stared at each other for a long time. I’d missed being this close and drank her beauty in like a fine wine. She’d lost so much fucking weight, but she was still sexy as hell. The chauffeur came to get me, and I asked him to leave.

Being so close to Bella made me lose my fucking mind. I pressed my body against hers and moaned in pleasure. It wasn’t enough, so I gently pushed her against the wall.

“Make me stop. Please, make me stop. I’m clean—they tested me for sexually transmitted diseases, and I haven’t been with anyone since the hospital. Still… make me stop,” I pleaded, licking the shell of her delicate ear.

She raised her leg, bending it at the knee. “No.” It came out like a breath.

"What happened to us, babydoll? We used to be so good," I whispered, sucking her top lip into my mouth. The business suit I was wearing wasn’t the best for this kind of thing.

She looked up at me, pain clear as day in her big brown eyes. "You stopped being my husband and started fucking other women. I'm tired, Edward. It’s so hard to even look at you.

Bella whimpered, which caused me to lose control and rip her thong right off. She helped me lift her skirt letting me know she was a willing participant. I unzipped my pants and thrust into her hard. She was so swollen and wet for me. The scent of her arousal was like manna after years in the wilderness.

While we were going at it, rain began to pour. In the back of my mind, I thought it was odd since the weather report had said it would be dry over the next two days. However, I was too focused on my wife to worry about trivial shit.

"Come for me, babydoll. Let me give you that. Come for me... I'm sorry...” I chanted quietly.

"Ungh...oh shit," she moaned, digging her nails into my ass.

Her pussy gushed as she swiveled and clawed at me. I thrust wild and desperately, almost like the first time we'd had sex. She clung to me helplessly and kept her face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt awful for how I was using her yet again, but neither one of us had the willpower to stop.



We reached completion at the same time. When the fucking sexual frustration was sated, I felt like a fucking pig. Frowning, I tucked myself in and zipped up my pants realizing I hadn’t even used a fucking condom.


“I've called around, Bella. You will not be allowed in any clubs in Seattle. Don't disobey me,” I warned while fixing my tie. As expected, she fucking slapped me.

"Fuck you, Edward. Why don't you go back to your bimbos and leave me the hell alone. I hate you." A sharp pain went through my chest—it always hurt when she claimed to hate me.

When we got in the car, I reached in the briefcase I kept under seat and handed Bella the folder with the separation papers. I had to make things right.

“Here,” I grunted.

“So that’s it.”

“That’s it.”

My babydoll stayed as still as a statue while I used towels to dry our wet bodies. She passed out soon after I wrapped her in a large blanket. I kissed her forehead and fucking cried like a baby.

When we got to the mansion, I carried her up the stairs, cleaned her off, and removed her skank outfit. Then I dressed her in a fresh pair of warm pajamas. She protested a little when I forced her to take some Advil and drink water but didn’t really wake up.

For the next hour, I just watched her sleep. Eventually, Jasper came over to spend the night. I didn’t want my babydoll to be alone, but I knew that she’d be angry if she woke up with me in the room. Jasper barely glanced my way as he walked up the stairs.

“Get out. You’re the cause of this,” he hissed, pointing towards the door.

I lowered my head. “I’m sorry. The separation papers are on the nightstand. I signed my half. I know you hate me Jasper, but I truly am sorry. I’m working on myself.”

Alice and Jasper were also having major problems. They weren’t even living in the same place. Jasper had rented his own condo and Alice was in our parent’s guest cottage. My sister wanted to start a family, but Jasper had old demons like me.

I’d moved back into my old Penthouse for the time being, but there were stipulations. Tiredly, I stood still as a security person searched me for drugs and alcohol before going inside my lonely abode. I’d placed pictures of Bella and DC up everywhere, but the place still didn’t feel as homey as it had when we’d all lived in it together.

After a long hot shower, I put on a pair of boxers and climbed into bed. Fresh memories of Bella’s moans and whimpers assaulted me as I tried to rest. I wanted to be with her so badly, but it wasn’t about me anymore. Having sex so soon had clearly been a mistake…a mistake my babydoll would regret.

“I’m a dickhead,” I muttered to myself, turning off the lamp.

Later, I dreamed I was in a rainy garden. My hands worked expertly, digging and sowing seeds. I felt pride in what I was doing and didn’t mind the sweat and mud. After awhile, the sky became a brilliant blue and the sun rose. Smiling, I watched two almond blossoms bloom.

 Do you understand the dream? :) Dante will be back next chapter in all his cute glory. Review if you liked it or have something to say. I'll be with the Stoli. 


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  2. Loved it :) i am so glad to see that he is getting better, although he still has a long way to go. now i'm just hoping that he does'nt screw himself up again. i really enjoyed the mini dream at the end.. the blossoming flowers being their unborn twins?? thanks for updating - Tally1990

  3. Perfect job, this chapter is wonderful. But Edward had a long way ahead to heal completly and be good for his family again. Hold on guy !

  4. So i didn't get my alert that the chapter was up. Anyhoo, reading this chapter was great. I mean all that Edward endured to get better an his stay in the 'loony bin' as he so put it. Being in a padded room and in a straight jacket from time to time really played a number on him. But all his sessions with Dr. Crowly, it helped him in so many ways to see himself. An then for him to have sex with Bella, wow, i agree its to soon but i hope that they will never get that divorce and instead work at getting things better......i know it will be a long that will be a HEA! loved it the avid reader(sandym)

  5. Great job bb :D you're doing an amazing job! Luv ya!!

  6. Love this story. great dream about the twins he planted in the rain.

  7. Loved this chapter, it shows hope for their future. I love how Edward is trying to get his life back on track. And twins would be so cute! Great chapter!

  8. He's having babies, I love this story update when you can!