Saturday, September 17, 2011

Chapter 9: Silent Night

A/N: I'm back. It hasn't been too long since an update. instead of making this just another Bella POV, I decided to go back and forth so you can see what they're both thinking during the holiday. We are about 4 chapters away from the Prologue for those that asked.

Warning: This chapter has some hard to deal with infidelity themes towards the end. Do not read if that is a trigger for you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Kristen Stewart's tortilla soup. Yet I somehow find the will to go on.



Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent Night-Il Divo version

EPOV

Any day now, it was all going to disappear. I knew the lies and deception would catch up with me and destroy the only good thing I'd ever built. Bella is, was, and always will be too fucking good for me. My family deserved much more than I gave them.

"What are you thinking about, pretty boy?" Sebastian asked, interrupting my inner monologue.

I slapped him on the back of the head for the stupid ass nickname before answering. "Bella mostly and Dante, too. I'm not good for them. They need fucking love and stability. All I do is hurt them."

He rolled his eyes as he passed me another cigar. Since most of my family hated my fucking guts, I was spending a lot of time with my cousins. Growing up, I had been really close to Sebastian and Isaac. Achilles was cool, but he was only twenty-three and a momma's boy to boot.

Last night had been difficult, so I couldn't sleep. When I woke up, I came downstairs and found my cousins. We'd been in the fucking billiards room since four in the morning, just talking and shit. But now it was close to seven and I knew my babydoll would be up soon.

"Why the fuck did you marry her? Despite what mom says, you can get the fucking milk without the cow. Now you're fucking stuck with that woman for life," Isaac said.

Instinctively, I leaped off the chair and pushed him down on the ground. "Don't you ever fucking talk about my Bella like that! She is my heart and soul. I'll fucking slit your throat if you ever disrespect my wife in front of me again. Swear, motherfucker!"

Holding up his hands in the universal sign of defeat, he promised to be cordial. Sebastian had to pull me off of his brother. Even with the high, I was fucking pissed. My cousins had always been important to me, but I'd drop their asses if they thought they could come and insult my babydoll.

"Fuck man," Sebastian began, "You talk about her worse than that when you're drunk. We just thought she was fucking using you or some shit. You know I don't trust bitches, especially since that Cecile cunt lied about being pregnant. She got mom excited and it was all a fucking scam."

I took a few puffs of the cigar and then passed it to Isaac. It was my way of saying his bullshit was forgotten for now. The next time wouldn't be so pretty.

"I don't care what the fuck I say about my babydoll when I'm drunk. I still fucking love her to death. You only have to take one goddamn glance at Dante to know he's mine. I'm the only fucker Bella ever let touch her."

Isaac began snickering while Sebastian gestured to his fucking cock. "You wanna borrow my pair. I see Bella has taken yours. When did you turn into such an emo pussy? Snap out of it," he ordered, passing me a glass of Scotch.

I declined the liquor and stood up. "Fuck both of you. I'm going to see if my angel is awake. Don't' fucking spoil this Christmas for her or I'll bring down the wrath of Satan on your heads, got it?" They both promised to behave themselves.

On my way to the bedroom, I stopped in the kitchen to get some hot chocolate for Bella and a coffee for me. Esme, Di, and Chara were sipping tea and talking. They all looked up warily as I entered.

Deciding to make amends, I took a seat. "Look, I know I fucked up. I should have never put my hands on Bella. This year has been really hard for us. You know I might be bipolar, right? Well I've promised Bella I'll do anything to get better and save our relationship. Fuck! I know I don't deserve her or Dante, but I can't seem to let them go.

"I want to say sorry to all of you," I said, pointedly looking into each of their eyes. "I have to become a better man for them."

My mom shook her head. "You always promise these things--- just like your father, but you don't deliver. I'm not one of those mothers who will sit back and let her son do anything! Bella is my daughter, and I have to protect her, too. Domestic violence is very serious, Edward. When your wife says no, she means no. You can't just do whatever the hell you want your whole life. I don't want to get a call telling me you're lying dead at some whore's house. I can't go through that again."

Di rubbed Esme's shoulders before looking over at me. "I feel the same, sweetheart. We love you, but Marcus and I can't sit back and let you hurt your wife. He wanted to be harder on you than he was, but I talked him into giving you another chance. I see so much good in you, but it's being clouded by the darkness again. You can fight this."

The kitchen was silent for a few minutes. Then Sebastian and Isaac wandered in to get some breakfast. Chara made them sit down and went to the stove and grabbed three plates. She set them in front of us. I stared at the bacon, eggs, and muffins knowing I wouldn't be able to eat anything. I felt fucking nauseous.

"And don't be listening to these two idiots. They don't know a thing about love and marriage," warned Chara, pointing at her sons. "I don't think they'll ever give me grandchildren. Achilles is my last hope."

I sighed and went to the stove to prepare a Cioccolato Caldo for my babydoll. It had been ages since I fucking cared for her the way she deserved. As I added the cocoa powder, milk, and sugar to the saucepan, I planned ways I could redeem myself. It was never too late to be a better man. I was lost in thought when mom walked up behind me and added the chopped dark chocolate. We worked together to finish the task.

A few minutes later, Esme took my hand and kissed the palm. "I love you no matter what... I just want you to get the help you need. Carlisle and I have been reading up on bipolar disorder. It's very manageable, but you can't keep using drugs and liquor as a crutch. Bella and Dante love you so much. Don't throw that away for a life of emptiness. You'll live to regret it.

"Here," she said, handing me a big green mug with a Christmas tree on it. "She'll like this one. Don't forget to add a lot of whipped crème and some chocolate shavings on top. There are chocolate chip muffins in the pastry box. Make sure my daughter eats. She's lost too much weight worrying."

Nodding, I prepared everything and put it on a wooden breakfast tray. I left just as Chara was really starting to chide Isaac and Sebastian. I didn't fucking pity them the lecture. At least I'd given Esme a cute as fuck grandson.

Speaking of my son... He was sleeping peacefully when I stopped by the nursery. I sat the tray down for a minute so I could lean down and kiss his forehead. He was still so fucking new and perfect. I was going to fight like hell to make sure he didn't end up like my sorry ass.

"It's inevitable with us. The sins of the father shall be visited upon the son," he quoted proudly. I didn't turn around, because I was too fucking scared of what I'd see. Deep down I knew all these visions were in my head, but they seemed so real.

I shook my head while rubbing my son's soft cheek. "No," I said quietly. "He doesn't have to be like you or me. Stay the fuck away from my family. You're fucking dead, and I avenged you. Leave me the hell alone."

"I love you, mi figlio. You're the best part of me," I whispered, leaving the room.

The sight in the bedroom almost made me trip and fall. Bella was splayed out on her back, breasts on full display. She had a nursing towel next to her, so I assumed she'd fed Dante sometime during the morning while I'd been gone. No wonder he's sleeping so peacefully.

"Fuck," I hissed, trying to make my morning erection deflate. My babydoll's little red boyshorts weren't helping the situation in my pants either.

My angel turned over and snuggled deeper into the sheets. I didn't want to wake her sexy ass up, but she needed to eat. Esme was right about her losing too much fucking weight. I hated myself for being the cause of it all.

Leaning down, I kissed the skin over my wife's heart. "Wake up, babydoll. I have breakfast."

She made a disgruntled noise and turned to the other side, facing me. "Edward? What time is it? Where is Dante?"

I looked down at my Audemar Piguet watch. "It's about twenty past seven. Our baby is sleeping like a log. I just checked up on him. Come on, these muffins smell fucking amazing and I made you hot chocolate." That woke her up.

"Um, just let me go to the bathroom and wash up," she muttered, walking away.

When she returned, I had everything sat up on the table. The fire I'd started earlier was still blazing, and the room smelled like fresh pine. I'd moved the couch and table so we faced the large glass windows. Heavy snow fell nonstop as the sun began to rise. It was fucking beautiful.

I was adding sugar to my coffee when my babydoll joined me. Unfortunately, she'd put on a gray cashmere robe that came mid thigh. Her hair was piled on top of her head, and her eyes were sparkling with emotion. I knew she wanted to talk about last night but it could wait.

"This is so delicious," she moaned, taking a large sip of hot chocolate. "I missed this. The muffin is great, too. Thanks for bringing me breakfast, honey."

I mock frowned, looking down at my mug. "There's just one problem. I forgot to get milk, and I can't drink my fucking coffee without it."

"I'll go..."

Shaking my head, I pointed to her breasts. "I want the best milk."

Giggling, Bella shyly opened her robe. After all the shit we'd done, she was still so innocent. "Do you want me to just, um, squirt it in?"

I leaned down and began licking and suckling both her nipples. The taste was indescribable. I'd drink her breast milk all the fucking time if DC didn't need it more. Maybe I was a sick fuck, but I loved sharing something so intimate with my wife.

As my babydoll started moaning, I retrieved the cup and held it under her right nipple. Then I applied a little pressure until her breast expelled milk. I squeezed while she writhed with suppressed need in her seat. Pretty soon, I had enough to satisfy me.

"Best cup of coffee ever," I quipped, taking a large gulp.

Bella, seeming to come out of her sexual haze, swatted me away, and redid her robe. I pouted a little as she began to eat. Four muffins later, we were both full. It had been a while since I'd had a nice, relaxing morning with my babydoll. I enjoyed it immensely.

"Are you ready to talk about last night?" she asked, pulling a blanket over both of us.

I looked away. "I... I know he's not really there, but it seems so real. It sounds just like him, and fuck... I just can't escape the fucking bullshit of the past."

Bella pulled me down so that I was laying in her lap. "You're stronger than that, Edward. I know it's hard, but you have to fight. Is your father the only dead person you see?"

Closing my eyes, I decided to tell the truth. "No. I see that fucking kid that I killed. Sometimes, he morphs into an older version of Dante, and you turn into the mother. It's like every time I close my eyes, this bad shit is waiting for me. I'm slowly descending into Hell. You should run, take DC and leave my crazy ass. I'm not good for you."

"We've already established I'm not going anywhere, and you're not crazy, Mr. Cullen," she said in a soothing voice, lightly scratching my scalp.

"Almost a year ago today, I stood before God and pledged myself to you for better or worse. I love you. Real love isn't about running away when times get rough. We need each other more now than ever."

Her words made me feel so damn good. "Babdyoll, I love you so fucking much. How the hell did I get so lucky?"

She smiled and kissed my nose. "You're really handsome, and I love riding your thick cock among other things. Are you going to spend Christmas Eve being miserable, or are you going to fuck me until I pass out again?"

I sat up so fast; I almost broke a rib. "You still want me after all the bullshit?"

"Edward, I'll always want you. You've told me the truth about everything, right? We can move on from here."

I wished like hell I'd never let Gina touch me. She was going to fucking ruin my marriage and my life if given the chance. The lies were piling up, and my wife would be the ultimate casualty. Even still, I couldn't find it within myself to tell her the full truth. She'd send me away if she knew I'd been with another woman.

"I...I... Gina is fucking fired as soon as the election is over. I had some goons go to her condo and bleach all her fucking clothes and shit. She'll have to wear a uniform to work from now on. Uh, I also told her that she has to give you a formal apology. If that's not enough punishment, you can devise your own. I hate the fucking bitch. She... She's jealous," I stammered, desperately trying to get air into my lungs.

Bella used a cloth to wipe my sweaty forehead. "Hey, calm down. Where did that come from? We've been through too much together to let some skanky campaign manager break us apart. Swear to me you never cheated with her, and I'll let it be."

I pulled her into my lap, looked deep into her big brown eyes, and fucking lied. "I never touched the bitch.
You were right; I shouldn't have hired her or Anna. When the campaign is done, I'll get new employees. You can even help me pick them."

She beamed, pulling me into a warm hug. "And I swear I never think about Giles as anything more than a friend. I'd never cheat on you, Edward. Other men don't compare. When you walk into a room... my heart flutters. I never thought I'd feel so alive again. Don't ever leave me. Promise."

I snorted. "I talk a good game, but I couldn't if I tried. You own me; heart, body, and soul, Mrs. Cullen. Let's get back into bed so I can show you just how much."

She was taking off her robe when the baby monitor came alive. Dante was screaming his little lungs out, and I knew it'd be a while before daddy got any pussy. Groaning, I adjusted myself and walked to the nursery to get my son.

"Glad you still know how to cockblock daddy," I said fondly, lifting him out of the bed.

He just looked at me for a minute before laying his head on my shoulder. It made me feel fucking fantastic. DC loved me unconditionally. As I rubbed his back and grabbed a blanket, I thought about how much I'd already failed at being a father.

Maybe Bella is right; It's not too late.

When we got to the bedroom, I expected my son to reach for Bella, but he surprised me by clinging to me. My babydoll just smiled and laid back down. I did the same, placing mi figlio on my chest. He turned head and started sucking his thumb. Being with them was just fucking great.

"He missed you, Daddy," Bella whispered, caressing Dante's cheek.

I kissed the back of his head and held him closer. "I missed him, too. I love the both of you so much. Why don't we sleep a little longer. We can go sledding, and whatever else you want to do, later."

"Good idea, honey," Bella said, moving closer. Ten minutes later, we were all asleep.

~~LAMTAF~~

BPOV

"He's not good for you! Jake and I have known you longer than any of them. We're worried about you, darlin'. I want you to leave Edward," Jasper demanded, standing up to his full height.

My brother and former best friend were currently locked away with me in the study. They had taken it upon themselves to hold an intervention of sorts. After the first minute, I'd been reduced to tears. How could my brother ask me to leave my husband? Sure, Edward and I had problems but so did every couple.

Jake nodded from his seat next to Jas. "You should have come to us when he first started hurting you! Domestic violence isn't something that should be condoned. The old Bella would have given him a right hook and left. What's changed, sweetheart?"

Sniffling, I lowered my head. "I love him! I love him so much it hurts. He's not well right now. Edward... Dr. Uley thinks he's bipolar. He wouldn't hurt me if he was in his right mind. I'm not going to give up and leave him. We have a child together. Please, both of you, let it go. I just want to be happy."

"And what about the next time when he seriously hurts you or worse? You know as well as I do that Edward does drugs and partakes in too much drinking. He cares about no one but himself. I won't let him drag you and my nephew to the bottom. Bella, you have to leave," Jas said, finally taking his seat.

"I won't."

Jasper and Jake shared a look. They'd used to gang up on me when I was teenager. I didn't understand why they were so adamant. Edward and I had been through so much together. It would be cruel of me to abandon him when he needed me the most. Besides, I love him.

For several minutes it was silent while Jas paced the room. I fidgeted and played with my perfectly manicured nails. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake pleading with me. Grimacing, I gave him a weak head shake letting him know I wouldn't back down.

"Charlie always said..." Jasper began, taking a minute to pause. "He said the worst part would be dealing with your stubbornness. I promised dad I'd take care of you. How do you think I felt when I heard Edward put his hands on you, held you down, and tried to rape you? I can't let that go. I don't even want to be in the same house as him. I'm trying to be cordial for you and Alice's sake, but I want to bash his head in with a baseball bat."

Why did he make it sound so bad? "You... You don't know everything. He won't hurt me again. Please, Jasper, don't do this."

Jake walked across the room and sat next to me. Slowly, I looked up into his kind black eyes. "Bella, you know he's right. If Edward really loved you, he wouldn't put you at risk. If I felt like hurting Leah, I would leave to keep her safe. Think of Dante, he needs his mother."

"No." It was a single but powerful word which separated me from my brother.

Jas nodded and walked towards the door. "Fine. Go on pretending that everything is all right. I know what it's like to be scared and feel small. I never wanted this for you. I can't continue to support this marriage. I'll stay for Christmas, and then we're leaving. Don't worry, I'll still be here to pick up the pieces when you come to your senses. But...right now I can't do this. I love you too much to see you hurt."

After my brother left, I broke down. I cried so hard Jake had to go get Leah to help comfort me. The pain in my heart was deep, and I wanted to lay down and not worry about any of it. Christmas Eve was officially ruined!

Pretty soon, I managed to get myself together and went upstairs to change. On the way there, I bumped into Angela. She hadn't joined that ambush in the library. Wearily, I clung to her as she helped me into jeans and a hoodie.

"Put on your brave face, Bella. I know about Jasper and Jake. They asked me to join, but I declined. I trust you to come to me when you really need help. I'm here for you," Angela promised, kissing my cheek.

We headed to the movie room to find the men. There was some big football game playing which they all had to see. I'd let Edward take Dante because he sorely needed to spend time with his daddy. I wasn't stupid, though. I'd asked Em to keep an eye on everything, especially Edward's creepy cousins.

When we got to the den, I immediately spotted Isaac holding my little lamb. Dante, dressed in a little football jersey with the word 'Cullen' on the back, was standing up and using Isaac's shoulder as a crutch. He looked so happy as he babbled and pumped his fat legs.

Smiling, I walked across the room and took a seat next to Isaac. "I'll take him now. Where's Edward?"

The other cousin, Sebastian, practically rolled his eyes. "He's in the fucking bathroom. You keep a pretty tight leash on him."

Before I could say anything, Emmett came over and took Dante. I silently thanked him as he went back to sit with the rest of the men. It was a good thing he intervened, because I was about to have it out with these evil assholes.

"Come with me," I commanded, pointing towards the door. When we got to the hallway, I pounced. "How dare you! You've clearly hated me from the start. I haven't done anything to either of you."

Sebastian snorted. "You have the whole damn family wrapped around your little finger. I know your kind. This innocent, small town girl bullshit doesn't work on me."

Isaac nodded, drawing my attention to him. "You're using Edward to advance yourself. He's dated supermodels and actresses. Why would he want you? You obviously played him hook, line, and sinker."

Angrily, I advanced towards them "Is that what you idiots think? Do you know what I've gone through to be with Edward? My baby and I almost lost our lives! I've been kidnapped, beaten, nearly raped, and had friends die, but I handled it all. I don't care if Edward dated supermodels. Do you think any of them would still be here? Get the hell away from me before I hurt you."

We were all having an intense staring game when my husband joined us. After walking over to me, he lifted my chin and searched my eyes. I tried to hide my tears but failed miserably. I saw a calm determination enter his green orbs. He was pissed.

"What the fuck did you say to my wife?" Edward snarled, pushing me protectively behind him. "You motherfuckers must have a goddamn death wish. Tell me!"

Glaring at me, Sebastian spoke up. "We told the fucking truth. She's a gold digger. You said it yourself; she'll have you committed and take everything. We've always had your back, Edward."

"I was drunk. I didn't mean that shit. You can't disrespect my wife. In the old days, you would have owed her a kneecap. Fuck!"

I hugged myself, while regarding the men as dangerous wolves. "I'm sick of it all. Any which way I go, someone is mad at me. If Edward is stupid enough to believe I married him for money, there's no point in me trying to salvage this relationship. Sort it out among yourselves, I don't care anymore." Fortunately no one bothered to follow me.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cooking Italian foods like cioppino, vegetarian lasagna, and salmon mousse.
The warmth and comfort of the kitchen was just what I needed. After awhile, I'd forgotten all about my earlier arguments.

"La Vigilia , or Christmas Eve as you call it here, is a very special holiday in Italy. We generally abstain from all meat except seafood until tomorrow. Last year we were so busy we didn't get to do the ritual, but I think we need it now," Di explained as she helped me add shrimp to the cioppino. .

Esme smiled and began rolling out dough for the garlic bread. "I'm so happy we're all safe and together. Family is what's really important. We have so many different cultures this year, but everyone has agreed to have an Italian La Vigilia."

Chara laughed. "I'm still making my famous Hummus and pita bread. Bella, you're all skin and bones. You can't bring us more babies unless you take care of yourself. Lord knows my boys won't be making me a grandma anytime soon."

I had just put the lid on the soup when Edward walked into the kitchen. He handed our little lamb to the doting women before asking to speak with me. Nodding, I followed him quietly.

"Bella, I'm sorry. They're going home after Christmas."

Shrugging, I turned my back on him. "It's forgotten. We're going skiing before dinner. I'll be upstairs getting changed. Um, see you out there."

As I turned to go, he gently grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Bullshit! Don't shut me out, Bella."

~~LAMTAF~~

EPOV

Since Bella had never seen me ski, I showed off a little bit--not that she fucking noticed. And why the fuck did she have to look so hot in her pink ski suit and hat? It was taking all of my fucking willpower not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp away.

At least my son looked happy. He was decked out in a blue, insulated snow suit and so bundled up it was a miracle he could see. I watched broodingly as my wife pointed at Jasper going down the hill. I'd asked her to go up in the lift with me, but she fucking declined.

After two hours out on the slopes, we were all tired and hungry. I didn't manage to attract my wife's attention, but several female skiers had discretely slipped me their phone numbers. I ignored them all.

Fortunately, Rose and Alice took Dante so I could get dressed for dinner with Bella. We were in the same room but fucking miles apart. I sat on the bed and unabashedly watched her lotion up and brush her hair.

"You're even more beautiful than the day I married you," I said, staring at her supple tits.

"Thank you," she replied stoically, avoiding my eyes.

"Damn it! Talk to me. You're like a robot with your fake smiles. Hit me or something. I deserve it."

After a few minutes, my babydoll sat down next to me. She was only wearing a pair of blue cotton panties. In no time, I had her bare in front of me as I kissed my way down her body. She didn't fight or push me away, so I grew bolder in my exploration.

"You have the cutest bellybutton," I mused, dipping my tongue inside. Her hips came off the bed.

"Lick me," she whispered, guiding my head down to the place where she was glistening for me.

After putting her legs over my shoulder, I spread her lips and sucked on her clit. She buried her hands in my hair and held me close. It didn't take long for me to fall into our old rhythm. I lapped her silken flesh like a starving man while she whimpered and moaned my name.

About fifteen minutes later, she pushed me away. "I can't... I can't do it. I'm sorry, Edward."

Dazed, I sat up and looked down at my angelic babydoll. Her cheeks were flushed the most beautiful pink and her big, brown eyes were as bright as twinkling stars. The stubble from my chin had left a few stray red marks on her pale upper thighs. She looked magnificent.

"I don't understand, babydoll. What happened?"

Shaking her head, she walked into the bathroom. The click of the lock was my only answer. Frustrated, I went to another room to dress. It was obvious that Bella hated my fucking guts. Knowing I couldn't satisfy my wife made me feel like a fucking failure.

"I'm so useless," I muttered, putting on a clean button down.

"It's not you, it's her."

Sighing, I closed my eyes and willed him to go away.

"You can ignore me all you want, but you know I speak the truth. Men like you and me aren't meant to settle down. I tried it with Esme and look what happened. Son, listen to your dear old dad. I've always known what's best for you."

Grudgingly, I turned towards the voice. He was standing by the window looking at the fresh snow fall. Edward Sr. wore the same clothes which had been by his bed the day he died. The black V-neck sweater and crisp white pants looked so real, even though I knew it was just another fucking hallucination.

"Think about what I said. Merry Christmas, Anthony." With that, he was gone.

My dad had been the only family member who called me by my middle name. He'd told me it was strange calling another man by his name, but Esme had insisted I be a Junior. I was just glad Bella hadn't keep it going. Edward Masen was a cursed name, and I wanted better for my sons.

~~LAMTAF~~

Dinner was an extravagant affair. Everyone dressed up in holiday colors. My babydoll wore a pretty red dress which showed off too much tit for my taste, but I didn't have the heart to make a fucking scene.
Dante and Sasha, both in their high chairs, sat next to each other and giggled like mad. Whatever the hell they babbled to each other about was quite entertaining. My boy looked so damn handsome in his little Armani suit.

The food was probably delicious, but I didn't fucking taste it. I had too much shit on my mind--it was a wonder I didn't bolt. Jas kept shooting me daggers every time I looked his way, and my cousins weren't any better. When the main course was served, Marcus stood up to say a prayer. I zoned out, staring at my angel across the table.

"Look at you, you adorable cherub. You like this bread pudding, don't you?" Bella cooed as she fed our son. From what I'd seen, DC wasn't too picky about anything. He just liked to eat.

"Not another cutesy baby nickname," Em said, groaning as Rose cut him a too small piece of pie.

My babydoll giggled. "I can't stick with just one. Besides, it's helping his vocabulary. I already know he's going to be super smart."

Colin and Brady nodded enthusiastically. "He can go to school with us and draw."

Laughing, Em explained to them it would be a few years before Dante would be joining them in their scholastic endeavors. Luckily more pie smoothed out any problems.

After dinner, we retired to the living room. It was family tradition to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Warily, I noticed Sebastian was giving Maggie more attention than needed. Liam looked like he was two seconds away from kicking my cousin's ass; Damned if I was going to stop him.

Every one was sitting around having a good time. I was angry that Bella had chosen to open Giles' gift instead of one of mine. I hated the fucker with a passion. What if he tried to take her away from me?

"Thanks for the golf clubs," I said, hugging Liam for his gift. He made me join him on the links every time I was in Boston.

"It won't help you beat me, but you'll look sharp." Siobhan rolled her eyes and asked her husband to be civil.

It turned out Giles had bought Bella an antique globe which opened to reveal some classic travel books. It disgusted me to watch my wife gush over his shit. I almost threw my glass against the wall when she left to call him.

Fortunately, the gift Esme pulled for DC was from me. Since he loved the damn monkey Em had given him, I'd decided to have a stuffed tiger cub made for him. It looked real and played music.

"Look what daddy got you," Esme bragged, bouncing my son on her knee.

I walked across the room and took him from her arms. It was a good sign he bought the tiger with him. Happily, I watched as he gnawed on the nose. The, I pressed the button which made it growl. My son pulled back and looked up at me.

"Fuck, did that scare you?"

"Language, Edward," Esme admonished, shaking her head.

I pressed the button again, and this time Dante tried to imitate his new toy. The noise he made sounded more like a grunt but it was still fucking cute. Before long, he was down on the floor showing his new toy to Sasha.

When my wife returned, she was practically glowing. Internally I seethed knowing that another man had put a big smile on her face. I briefly considered having Giles bumped off. He and the Vince motherfucker were after Bella. They were probably waiting for me to screw up.

After excusing myself, I went to sit outside. The sun had already set and more snow was falling. It was cold, so I was wearing the Burberry coat Bella had given me last Christmas. Although shit had been bad, we'd been more together back then.

"Can I join you?" Bella asked, walking up behind me.

I nodded, scooting further down the seat to make room. "I'm surprised you're talking to me. I guess Giles didn't have more time for you."

She sighed and passed me an insulated mug of hot chocolate. "Look, I didn't come out here to argue. Tomorrow is our anniversary. We can at least..."

Leaning over, I kissed her hard on the lips. After awhile my lips gentled, but my need for her was primal. She was wearing too many layers for me to get at any skin, so I tongue-fucked her sweet mouth, pulling her into my lap.

"I want more," I began, nibbling on her neck. "I want more kids. You can come off that birth control shit. Dante needs siblings, and I want us to have the big family you dreamed about. Please."

She tugged on my hair until we were eye to eye. "No. I have enough to deal with now. More kids aren't going to fix our problems. Do you think I want to raise a bunch of babies alone? You're barely around for Dante as it is, Edward. I'm sorry, but there's no way I'm having more children with you."

The pain was immediate. I felt like that bullet I'd taken was re-lodged inside my chest and digging a hole into my heart. The woman I loved, my angel, didn't want to bear my seed. "Never?" I asked dumbly.

"I don't know. We need to take time to work on our marriage. I'm so scared that we're screwing up Dante. When I said I wanted a big family, I was a naive girl. It's harder than I thought... Everything is harder than I thought it would be," she admitted.

The demon was clawing to come out. I had to make Bella angry enough to leave, or I was going to fucking hurt her again. She deserved so much better.

"Is that why your pussy doesn't work for me anymore? Maybe you're thinking about fucking Giles or some other asshole, is that it? Fuck," I snarled, pushing her away.

Angrily, she stood up and marched away "You always revert back to that. Did you ever think that maybe I can't orgasm with you because you treat me like shit? No, it has to be my fault. Either I'm not good enough for you, or I'm a cheating whore. I'm tired of always getting the blame. Maybe... Maybe my pussy just doesn't want your overused cock anymore!" she screamed, slamming the door.

"Fuck me," I mumbled aloud. She was right about the kids. Our shit was too fucked up.

~~LAMTAF~~

BPOV

I woke up practically dry humping Edward. He was stark naked and hard as a rock. After our fight last night, he'd avoided me. We did manage to go to bed together and not alert the family to our latest argument.

"Bella," he moaned sleepily. "What time is it?"

I looked at the beside clock. "It's a little after six. Go back to sleep. The kids won't be up for at least another hour."

He rolled over, pulling me to his chest so we were spooning. "Happy Anniversary, babydoll. I know it hasn't been anywhere near perfect, but there's no place I'd rather be than next to your sexy ass. I love you."

Sniffling, I turned over. "I love you, too. I'm sorry about last night. I don't want anyone but you. We can talk about the birth control issue later."

Edward had changed so much during the last year. His jaw was stronger, more defined; His chest had become more muscular and his shoulders wider. Though his unruly copper hair was still out of control and always falling in his emerald eyes, just the way I always liked it.

"You're still really handsome, old man," I teased, tickling him.

He caught my hand and moved it down to his throbbing manhood. "All my parts still work, too."

Giggling, I ran to the bathroom. He caught me before I could close the door. The need was building. I wasn't exactly sure why I couldn't orgasm with Edward anymore, but I was determined to try.

"Fuck you look sexy," he mumbled, advancing towards me.

"Do you like what you see," I asked, prancing around in my skimpy tank and underwear. A few seconds went by before Edward really noticed what I was wearing.

"Those aren't the same ones. I stole those," he confessed, pointing at my pink and yellow smiley face panties.

I pushed him against the door, biting down on his chin. "They're not, but you remembered. That was our first kiss, in the tiny room in my old apartment. You said: 'I bet I know why they're smiling'. I felt like I was burning up inside when you were pressed against my body. It was also the first time I physically wanted a man. I've never wanted anyone else since that day."

He smiled so wide his eyes crinkled. "It was one of the best days of my fucking life. I tried to stay away, but I couldn't. You were so fucking sweet to me."

We kissed and dry humped for a long time. Then Edward went and got us some champagne while I ran a bath. When he returned, I was in the tub playing with the bubbles. He dropped his robe and stepped in to join me.

No words were needed as I climbed into his lap. With my head thrown back, I felt all the familiar ten inches pushing into me. I was still amazed my body could take so much. I assumed we women were just made to fit the man they loved.

"It's perfect," I whimpered, rolling my hips as Edward suckled my nipples. My breasts were surprising full, which meant milk was leaking heavily.

"Please, come for me, babydoll," he begged as he made circles around my swollen nub.

This time I had no problem. The strong orgasm ripped through me before I could catch my breath. I screamed, bucking my hips and clinging to Edward's massive shoulders. He buried his head in my neck and continued pumping as I rode out my bliss.

"Again," I demaded, getting up on my knees. Edward, knowing what I wanted, gently pushed my head down before slowly entering my rosebud.

"Fuck you're tight," he hissed, rubbing my clit hard.

I pushed back against him. "More. I want all that you have to give."

Suddenly, he was pulling my wet hair and pounding me into the marble. If it wasn't for the bath pillows, I probably would have had bruises. I gave myself to him wantonly and asked for nothing in return. When I felt his hands close around my neck, I knew he was close.

"You like fucking my little ass. It's always yours. No one else can have it," I whispered.

He roared and pulled me upright. A few seconds later, he exploded within me. If anyone had of heard us, they would have thought we were killing each other. His orgasm triggered my own, and I came until my knees went numb.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," I giggled, kissing his nose.

He slapped my butt and pulled me into his lap again. "Marry Christmas to you, too, Mrs. Cullen. You will definitely kill me."

~~LAMTAF~~

The rest of the day was like a dream. Edward was perfect, and no one bothered us at all. Dante loved everything he got and had fun playing with Sasha. There were no arguments, and Carlisle and Edward played music on the grand piano.

I watched as Riley presented his sister with a necklace of the family crest. Sasha, like Dante, was in her oral phase so everything went in her mouth. Kate and Riley decided it would be best if she kept the necklace for when she was older.

Bree had confided in me that she planned to give Riley her virginity for Christmas. After making sure she was completely prepared, I'd given my blessing. She was only eighteen in body, but in her mind she was more mature than me.

I quickly noticed Sebastian had a thing for Maggie, which she exploited outrageously. I wanted to laugh every time she made him slowly open a gift so the paper could be reused. It served him right for being such an ass earlier.

Edward made all his cousins apologize when they presented me with my gifts. Only Achilles at least seemed sincere. The other two had obviously been punished by Chara, and she was being very short with them.

"Do you like your gifts?" Edward asked nervously as I stared at the antique goose feather quill set he'd just given me.

"I love everything. I have so much, though. You don't have to buy me more silks and diamonds. I love you."

My little lamb was so cute. The kids got the most presents and took turns playing with each other. It was a chore keeping it all out of his drooling mouth, but we managed. In the end, the kids did what they always do and had more fun with the bubble wrap and boxes than anything.

"We love you, Dante," I cooed, kissing his chubby cheeks. "Merry first Christmas, and many more to come."

Around one, we were all starved. Caius took his turn carving the large turkey while Liam did the glazed ham. I tried not to notice they were both way too good with butcher knives. Apparently, Mafia training came in handy in other facets of life.

"Merry Christmas, sis and Dante," Jasper said, hugging me before taking his seat. He'd pointedly ignored my husband.

The meal was spectacular. I ate way too much and almost fell asleep at the table. Di convinced me to let my little lamb try some pumpkin pie filling, and to the surprise of no one he loved it. His sweet tooth rivaled his daddy's.

After dinner, Edward presented me with a honeymoon present. He was taking me to London, Paris, and Athens, Greece over the course of a week. We'd spend New Years Eve in London and be in Greece on the actual day.

Frowning, I gnawed my lip while looking up at my husband. "I don't want to be apart from Dante. Can't we go another time?"

Smirking, my husband looked at Esme and smiled. "We knew you'd say that. The whole family is going. We can take DC on our day trips, and his nana can watch him at night. It'll be perfect."

Squealing, I jumped into Edward's arms. "I can't wait to go. Thank you."

Later in the evening, we gathered in the parlor. Edward played Christmas hymns on the piano while we all sang along. I looked around at all the people I considered family and smiled. God may have not have given me a big family, but I'd made my own flawed version. Truly, I was happy.

~~LAMTAF~~

EPOV

"Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne," We sang boisterously as the the fireworks exploded over the London eye.

Our honeymoon had been fucking fantastic. My babydoll was insatiable. We spent every minute that we could making love. Lucky for us, Paris and London were full of old buildings with hidden rooms and doors. We'd even fucked against a tree in the park.

"Happy New Year," my wife bellowed snuggling closer to me. I wasn't about to take her down where some motherfucker could touch her ass, so we were watching from a Penthouse suite.

Our son had fallen asleep around seven after a day of exploring. The last time I's been in London, I'd thought both Bella and Dante were dead, so I was determined to show them the good side of one of my favorite cities. Although, it had taken a fucking miracle to get my babydoll out of all the old book stores.

"When I was twenty, I thought about living here and going to Oxford," she mused, sipping her drink. "Now I'm glad I didn't pursue that whim. It's nice to visit, but it's not home, you know?"

I kissed her forehead. "Nowhere is home for me without you. I love you, Bella."

That night, we made love feverishly. I felt like one of us was saying goodbye again, and I was so fucking afraid it was me. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to beat a mental disorder. I had told so many fucking lies, I couldn't keep them straight. Plus the hallucinations of my father were earning me a first class ticket to the padded room.

The next day, we took the jet to Athens. I showed Bella and Dante all of my favorite haunts. As a child, Edward Sr. had brought us here frequently. I had spent some whole summers with Chara and Paulo. I used to get so tanned I could almost pass for a local.

Bella took tons of pictures of the Acropolis and the mountains. I bought her everything she looked at, much to her complaint. Dante just babbled and occasionally whined until we took him out of his pram. We'd bought him a proper British one in London, and he fucking loved it.

I wasn't just in Greece for the honeymoon. The Volturi had major deals going down. We were getting deeper into the weapons and rare jewel and art trade. My Godfathers didn't want me around too many drugs, so the bulk of that business was moving up to Portland. We already had a few Oregon elite in our pockets.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked, breaking me out of my musing.

"Mafia business. You don't even know how deep it goes, babydoll. All these people who nod to you do it out of respect. A lot of the old Greek families deal in slavery and shit, but the Volturi is against it. We're not fucking boy scouts, but we do have some morals."

My angel wrapped her arm around my waist and kissed my lips. "I want to learn. I'm a Mafia wife for life. Marcus says I need to know it all. Teach me."

I grimaced and closed my eyes. "I want you to stay as fucking innocent as you are. Once... Once you know all this shit, you'll never be the same."

She hugged me close. "A wife is to be a help for her husband. If I carry some of the burden, you won't have to do everything alone. We can start slow. At least teach me to shoot that gun you make me carry."

I picked up my son and placed him back in the pram. "What are we going to do with mommy?" He gurgled before inserting his thumb in his mouth and turning to smile sweetly at Bella.

"He knows who has the power in this family," Bell teased, ribbing me. We spent the next few hours exploring and being a real family.

~~LAMTAF~~

"Kali Xronia!" I yelled, walking into Paulo and Chara's compound. Here, the old families still had a lot of servants. Bella was overwhelmed at the number of teenage girls who came to take Dante away from us. I assured her everything would be all right.

"It's been so long. You look more like your father every day," one of the priests acknowledged, kissing me on the cheek. "I trust you are not taking after him in any other ways. That man would not come to confession to save his life."

Hastily, I introduced him to my babydoll as Chara led them both to the kitchen. While they were busy, I took a moment to check my Iphone. I had several missed calls and messages, mostly shit about HADES. We were selling out of contriband fast.

I was almost to the end when I saw the message from Marcus informing me the mother of the boy I'd killed had died of a heart attack. I immediately ran to the nearest bathroom and punched in the mirror. I didn't even feel the fucking pain until I looked down at my bloody knuckles. It was all my fucking fault that the woman had died.

I was wrapping my hand when I got a new text message from Anna, my club secretary. She'd just called to wish me happy holidays. Bitch.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror. Bella deserved so much better. She shouldn't be in love with a monster or want to know the Mafia rules. I wasn't worthy. If I really loved her, I'd never touch her again. No matter how much I pretended otherwise, it was all fucking wrong!

Before I could talk myself out of it, I dialed the number. "I got your message, and I've always known what you want. Gina's a fucking untrustworthy bitch, but you're better, right?"

I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, "I can keep a secret, Mr. Cullen."

I knew once I went down this road, my babydoll would be gone for good. Deep, gut wrenching sobs took over my body. I trembled so hard I had to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. She'd hate me forever. There would be no more love and happiness.

I decided to do the best thing I could for my family--I would grant them freedom, from me and my demons.

"You better be damn sure, because the consequences of disobedience are lethal, Capisce?"


I'll be with the Stoli. *Huggles*

5 comments:

  1. Wow. Its getting more interesting and intense. Now I cant wait to get caught up to the prologue. Edward needs to be head slapped a few times to get it straight.

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  2. Wow....this is getting better and better. Why on earth aren't you getting more views here? It's crazy. Some people need to stop living in a freaking dysney film :L Can't wait for another chapter. Looking forward to an Edward Bella reunion but I sure as hell know that's months down the line :)

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  3. The only way for Bella to truly save Edward is to start putting Dante and herself first. You can't save someone if they don't want to be saved. We all have the right to choose and Edward is making all the wrong ones. He'll truly rip Bella's soul out now, leaving her nothing but a shell of herself. Hopefully she'll be able to eventually find the strong woman she once was, if not for herself then for Dante. It seems it's going to get so much worse. I don't know if they'll ever be able to reunite after everything. I'm usually all for HEA but maybe in this case their being apart would be the better choice. I lost my own soul to a cheating bastard and have yet been able to find it.

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  4. Sometime it's very hard to read, but your fiction is amazing, totally addictive.
    I wish for you and all those who you love the best Christmas ever.

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  5. So, he's gonna fuck Anna to get Bella to leave?? Gah! I think I actually hate him right now... Instead of finding cruel and hateful ways to make Belka toss him out on his ass, he should be throwing himself into ways to make himself well!!!

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