Saturday, February 19, 2011

Chapter 4: Cold Wind Blows Part 2

A/N: Hello, readers! It has been less than a month since my last update. I think I'm doing good, but I know some of you think it's a long wait. I'm sorry that I can't go faster. I have a RL, wedding planning, work, and I write more than one fic. I will finish them all. Stick with me. This is Thanksgiving in Chicago. The song and pictures are on here. Play around the blog. There is also another smuttake, if you missed it. Also check out my Valentine's day one-shot on FFN when you get a chance. Donward and Babydoll have Twitter and Formspring if you ever want to chat with them. They're quite the characters.

 "Cause some things just don't change 
It's better when they stay the same 
Although the whole world knows your name 
So on the biggest days they came to see you spit your game 
Ooooohhhhhhh It shouldn't be difficult to explain 
Just why you came back again, you hate the fame 
Love the game, cold as ice you remain 
Fuck em' all, tell 'em all eat shit, here we go again 
So, god damn... is it that time again already 
Haha, you don't look too happy to see me
Fuck man, don't everybody welcome me back at once 
All right, fuck ya'll then.
You can get the dick, just call me the ballsac, 
I'm nuts Michael Vick in this bitch, dog, fall back you mutts 
Fuck your worms, you never seen such a sick puppy…"

Cold Wind Blows-Eminem


We were halfway to Chicago when Carlisle stood up and walked over to my seat. I sighed, realizing he was probably doing it for my mom's sake. He loved her more than anything, and if she wasn't happy, then he sure as hell wasn't happy either.

As he sat down, I noticed Bella talking and giggling with Bree and Alice, while my mom bounced a smiling DC on her knee. Chara was waiting impatiently for her turn to hold my son. Paulo, Cai, Riley, and Jaz were all asleep. Apparently, the last few days had worn their asses out.

"Can I talk to you a minute, son?" Carlisle asked, sitting down.

I shrugged. "Look, I know what you're going to say. I'm fucking fine, okay. I just…"

He took a deep breath, leaning into me so we could have a more private talk. "I know you're tough, Edward, but we all need people sometimes. Caius told me what happened…."

I pounded on the table. "He had no fucking right. That shit is my business!"

Everyone on the jet looked back at me. Dante began screaming. After glaring at me, Bella took him to one of the back bedrooms. The other women followed a few minutes later. Each one of them managed to give me their own version of the evil glare. The commotion woke up the men.

"Why are you yelling, Edward? You just scared your son. Flying is a new experience for him. You will apologize to the women, but first tell us what's going on with you," Cai commanded.

I sighed and began playing with the ice in my glass. "Why the fuck did you tell Carlisle about Portland? He's a fucking civilian."

"When did you get so disrespectful, Young Turk? You may be a Don in training, but I am still the Boss of the Volturi. If you can't get your house in order, how can Marcus and I expect you to carry on our heritage? I'm disappointed in you. We will talk more about this at the meeting."

Carlisle, who was clearly uncomfortable, shifted in his seat. "I didn't mean to start any trouble. Your mother mentioned that you were acting strange, so I asked Caius. He was kind enough to fill me in on the tragedy. I'm sorry, Edward. It wasn't your fault, son."

I stood up and threw my glass sniffer across the room. "I'm tired of everyone tell me that! The kid is dead. No amount of money or other bullshit is going to bring him back. I fucking killed him!"

Jasper winced as one of my men came to clean up the damage. I felt the demon clawing beneath my skin. I wanted a hit of something so bad I could taste the motherfucking chemicals in my mouth. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how the fuck you look at it, there wasn't any coke or even marijuana on the jet.

When I got myself together, I sat back down and looked out the windows. Man had come such a long way since the beginning of time. We could fly in luxury among the clouds, go to space, and clone animals; yet peace still eluded us.

After about ten minutes of silence, the women came back. Without a word to anyone, I stood up and made my way to the main bedroom. I liked flying in comfort so it had all the amenities of our Penthouse with some ostentatious add-ons, like platinum fixtures and a circular bed.

The first thing I saw when I got there was Bella shifting Dante. His little mouth was suckling her tit hard as she adjusted to make them both comfortable. There were a multitude of pillows behind her back, propping her up. I felt a pang of lust as I watched her feed my son.

Pretty soon, Dante got his fill and pulled away. I lifted him into my arms, settling his little head on my shoulders. So far, he seemed to like flying. The only time he'd really cried was during my earlier outburst. Other than that, things had been going well.

"I'm sorry, Dante," I whispered, kissing his tiny hands.

He sat up, pulled back, and looked me in the eyes. His face was chubbier. He looked sturdier than he did when he was first born. It was then that I realized I was missing his fucking childhood, even though I'd sworn that I wouldn't be like my fucking father. As he stared, I found myself wondering what he saw when he looked at me.

Suddenly, he began inching closer.

"He wants an Eskimo kiss, Edward," Bella said, buttoning up her top.

"What the fuck?"

She rolled her eyes. "Stop using that word in front of him. Jeez, Edward. Nuzzle his nose. You've seen me do it."

Gently, I touched noses with my son. He fucking squealed and kicked his fat legs. I did it again, and the results were the same. Before long, Bella joined in and we were all laughing and playing around.

Some of the ice over my heart melted as I looked down at my beautiful family. "I love you both so much."

Bella kissed my chin while Dante crawled around between us. "Don't shut us out, Edward. We love you, too. Please, don't shut us out," she pleaded.

The Portland thing was on the tip of my tongue, but as I watched her plant kisses all over DC's cherubic face, I realized I couldn't say it. They were too good for me and didn't need to be tainted with my bullshit. I'd never read a story where the Devil got a happy ending, and I probably wasn't going to be the exception to the rule.

Standing up, I excused myself to the bathroom. When I got there, I took out my pocket knife and made another cut in my abdomen, making sure not to cut too wide or deep. The pain centered me. I walked across the room to the sink. The man in the mirror looked fucking drained and wasted. It wasn't blow, coke, or pussy, but the effect was similar. I felt like I could breathe again.

A few minutes later, I cleaned up and put my knife away. As I left the room, I asked a God, who I didn't completely believe in, to not let me hurt my wife and child. I thought I buried the past demon and changed, but he was getting stronger every day.

My babydoll looked up and smiled at me. "Dante is getting sleepy. Will you take a nap with us?"

I crawled onto the bed, spooning my angel and our son. His thumb was in his little mouth. He looked so fucking happy as he played with a loose tendril of Bella's silky hair. She held her arm protectively across his small body.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep little angel," she sang softly, pulling DC closer to her breast.

From out of nowhere, I began to cry. Thankfully, Bella didn't notice. I closed my eyes a minute after Dante fell asleep. I needed my babydoll's soothing voice and gentle touches almost as much as our son. Holding them close, under the warmth of the blankets, I fell into a deep sleep.


By the time I woke up, we were landing. My babydoll and our son were still sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to wake them up, so I had my mom help me put Dante into his car seat. She and Carlisle carried him off the plane. Then, I hoisted Bella up into my arms. She was lighter than I remembered.

When we stepped off the jet, there were a bunch of armored cars waiting for us. Shit was better since James had died, but the Volturi always had enemies. Each car had the Italian flag on the dash; except Riley's, which was Russian. He and Bree were the first to leave.

It was a little after five in the evening, so the sun was already starting to set. I took a deep breath, inhaling the air of the city that raised me. Good old Chicago, I thought wistfully. The last time I had been here was during the James shit storm. I wanted to take Bella out and show her a good time.

While I reminisced, Jane helped arrange my babydoll in the back of our black Escalade. Of course my mom buckled up Dante. Once everyone was comfortable, I instructed my men to take off. Jasper, Alice, and Cai were in a luxury Town Car behind us. All the vehicles were bullet and bomb proof.

Fifteen minutes later, Bella woke up. She was frazzled and reached for Dante without thinking. When she didn't feel him, she became agitated. I pulled her to my side and kissed her cheeks.

"It's okay, babydoll. He's right behind us in the middle of his nana and papa. Look," I gestured, pointing to the third row where our son was sleeping.

She got on her knees so she could reach back and touch his face. "Awww, look at him, Edward. He's jet lagged. Do you think he's warm enough?"

My mom smiled. "He's perfectly fine, Bella. It's rather toasty in here and he's covered with three blankets."

My babydoll blushed and shrugged her shoulders. "I just worry. I hated seeing him sick."

Carlisle used the back of his hand to test Dante's temperature. "He feels normal. Remember that babies have an extra layer of fat. He'll be fine, Bella."

I smirked. "I think our son may have two or three extra layers of fat. Sometimes I wonder if Bella has steroids in her breast milk,"

Playfully, she slapped me across the chest. "I like my babies fat and dimpled. He's so adorable like this. I think I'll cry when he leaves me for kindergarten."

I kissed her lips, pulling her closer to me. "We all have to grow up sometime, babydoll."

The ride to the Volturi mansion passed rather quickly. Dante slept through the whole fucking things. If Carlisle hadn't been there to reassure me, I would have been worried about him. He looked so damn peaceful, though.

As we passed through the gates, I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I closed my eyes, I could still see the bombed out front yard and bodies laying around. Those had been dark days when I thought my reason for living and our child were gone from this Earth.

Desperately, I reached for my babydoll, placing her into my lap. She squeaked but stopped protesting once she looked into my eyes. Then her soft supple lips were on my face and I felt like I could breathe again.

Bella is the only woman in the world that knows how to soothe me. She's so goddamn beautiful.

"You're safe with me, Edward," she whispered into my ear.

I laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm supposed to keep you safe, babydoll. You're my wife."

I sensed Bella was about to argue, but luckily, Dante took that moment to wake up. and oh shit, did he wake up. He must have been conserving all of his lung power on the plane ride. It sounded like a motherfucking siren in the car.

Mom lifted him out of the car seat. "He's just so fussy. What's the matter, bambino?" She tried to give him a bottle but he knocked it out of her hand.

Carlisle laughed, taking Dante from Esme. "It's probably all the estrogen. Come hang with your old Papa, Dante."

Mom sputtered while one of my guards helped Carlisle out of the back seat. Sure enough, Dante stopped crying and laid his head down. It was fucking cold, so we made sure he stayed covered until we got inside the house.

"My baby," Di yelled, practically running to grab Dante from his Grandpa.

Marcus smiled and sent his servants to get our bags. The main house was fucking big, so we were all staying here. Plus it was safer than Buckingham Palace. Shitheads would be crazy to test us after the Russian situation.

I greeted my Godfather with a kiss on both of his cheeks. Then my babydoll came forward and I watched angrily as Marcus pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. Yeah he was my fucking family, but I didn't like men touching my wife. Period.

"You're getting more and more beautiful each time I see you, cara," he greeted, pulling away.

A full blush covered Bella's cheeks upon hearing the fucking compliment. "Thank you, Marcus. You're looking well yourself."

"Keep frowning and your face will get stuck like that, Edward," Marcus quipped while everyone shared a laugh at my expense.

Di and Esme were holding Dante like he was the last secret treasure on Earth, and Bella's eyes kept darting in their direction, too. DC was always oblivious to all the attention he was paid. He just sucked on his pacifier and looked around the opulent room.

A few minutes later, Bree and Riley came into the house. Riley's security was understandably cautions, but once my Godfathers greeted him with two kisses on the cheek, the guards visibly relaxed. Bree was her usual sweet self, blending in easily.

After we all greeted each other and washed up, we had a late lunch in the dining room. Di and Marcus had maids and a butler. I could tell that my babydoll wasn't comfortable with it all. Whenever a servant would fill her glass or bring a course, she jumped.

Our son tried to feed himself using his fat little hands. Giggling, Di lifted him out of the high chair and proceeded to help him. He liked when she made noise like an airplane. The amount of love that everyone showed my babydoll and Dante was overwhelming.

"He's so beautiful, Edward. You and Ali were the same," Di said with a wistful hint in her voice.

Marcus and I shared an angry look across the table. Di would have made a wonderful mother if that cocksucker hadn't raped her and destroyed any chance she had at a family. I knew even though he'd had the motherfucker killed, it would always weigh on him.

Bree and Riley were in their own little world until my Godfathers began grilling them. This was the first time in over a half a century that a Russian Don had been inside of the Volturi mansion. Riley kept his arm protectively around Bree as he answered the questions.

"Have you thought about the direction you want to lead the family in?" Cai asked as one of the maids refreshed his Bordeaux.

Riley shrugged and set his steak fork aside. "We've discussed it. I don't know how to be a leader. If I could trust one of my Uncles, I'd ask them to take over for me. I just want to finish school and be with Bree."

I smirked, glaring at him from across the table. "It's never that fucking easy. I took the Omerta when I was eighteen. You are twenty and already a Don. Make your Family listen to you. They're beneath you now."

"Why can't Riley have time? He's young, and I know for a fact that he's not like his brother or his father. Couldn't something be done?" Bella asked, worriedly.

I twirled my wine glass while I contemplated what she'd just asked. "You don't know anything about our world, Bella."

She glared at me. "I would know if you told me. Riley talks to me more than you do, Edward."

"Why the fuck are you talking to him? I'm the Don of the Volturi family, the one to which you belong. Don't forget where your loyalty lies," I snarled.

Several male voices yelled at me at once. I stood up and walked away from the room. Being in the fucking house was stifling. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to jump across the table and scream in my babydoll's face. All this rage was eating me alive.

I was drinking a bottle of Scotch in the East Wing reading room when I heard the door open. Quickly, I reached for my SIG. There was no fucking way an enemy was in the house, but I still didn't go places without my weapon.

"You're a Svoloch', and you know it," Riley said, taking a seat next to me.

I sighed, feeling stupid as I handed him the bottle. "I know I'm a bastard. How mad is she? I shouldn't have talked to her like that."

He took a sip of liquor and then passed it back to me. "She's pissed. You may want to sleep in a different room tonight. Bella was just standing up for me. It's what friends do for each other."

I took out a Cuban cigar, lit it, and took a puff. "And you're her friend, Testa di cazzo? You barely know my wife."

He fucking laughed in my face. "I slept next to her for months. Dante used to kick me all the time. Bella couldn't remember who she was, but she loved your son. The nights when James had been particularly cruel, we'd stay up and talk. She's stronger than me, Edward. I don't think I would have made it out of that house alive without her help. Going through something like that with a person makes them your friend for life."

Angrily, I closed my eyes and looked away. "I fucking hate that she went through that hell! I feel like all I do is let her down. The monster inside of me… He can't be put back inside. Riley, I fucking killed a kid. You know that's against the Volturi Laws."

He took another swig of the drink. "We can't change the past, Edward. You're responsible for your actions, the same as me. I heard about Portland. You did the right thing. Let it go. You've got a great family. Don't push them away."

For the next hour, Riley and I got fucking pissed and bonded. By the time he was ready to take a nap, I felt like I could talk to my babydoll. We fist bumped in the hallway and went our separate ways.

I was looking for Bella when my Godfathers fucking ambushed me. Marlon, one of the hugest motherfuckers in the Volturi guard, carried my ass to the lowest level. Generally, these were the rooms where real Mafia shit went down. For example, Di could be having a tea party upstairs, and someone down here could be getting their fucking kneecaps broken.

"Don't say anything," Marcus instructed, holding out his ring for me to kiss.

I did so obediently, and then Caius came and I did the same.

"You disgrace us," he whispered.

They began speaking in Old Italian; even I barely understood the shit. I'd learned on slang and the modern tongue. From what I did catch, I knew it wasn't good for me. The Volturi took family very seriously, especially the women. My fucking Father had been a whore, but when he'd yelled at Esme in Aro's presence, he was punished.

Marcus sat down on one of the wooden chairs and faced me. His black eyes were sinister as he spoke.

"Why did you speak to your wife like that? We do not run things like the Cosa Notra. Our women are free to speak their minds. I admire Bella for standing up like that for Riley. She cares deeply for him. This Family also owes him a debt of gratitude for keeping her safe when we could not."

I fiddled with my shirt collar, effectively ignoring the statement for as long as possible.

"I'm sorry, Caius, Marcus. I'll apologize to my babydoll. I was looking for her when you showed up. I'm just out of it. Killing that kid messed my head up."


*FLASHBACK (Portland, OR - One Week Ago)*

My ass hadn't had time to acquaint itself to the seat before a fucking girl came over offering me a lap dance. Mr. Miyosaka, our host, slipped the woman a couple of hundreds before she led me up the stairs. Caius gave me a stern look as our eyes met over the staircase.

"Don't fuck up," he mouthed, turning around.

The stripper was fucking built. She was easily six feet, long blonde hair, and tits that could suffocate a motherfucker. Because I was a little drunk already, I got a fucking erection. She used that to her advantage.

"Just relax, baby. I'm going to make you feel good," she sang, sliding into my lap.

While she ground her heat onto me, I thought of Bella. I wished like fuck that she was the one in my lap, but this was business. I let the bitch get close to her orgasm, and then I pulled out my SIG and held it to her throat.

"Something is off. Tell me what you know and I'll spare you life," I spat, pushing her off of me." She ran to the door, but I was faster. "Talk, bitch."

The story came out in jumbled words, but the gist was clear. Mr. Miyosaka was double teaming us. That was exactly what Caius had suspected and the reason we were here. He was only supposed to sell weapons we approved and he wasn't. 

Growling, I pulled a chloroform-laced handkerchief out of my coat pocket and held it over her mouth until her body went lax. She would be okay but sedated until we got the fuck out of here. I kept my rule of not harming women or kids.

Two knocks on the door and the bodyguard opened it. He saw whatever the bitch's name was asleep on the couch and gave me a 'job well done' nod. I walked down the stairs as if I owned the place.

When I located Caius, I told him what I'd learned from the stripper. He made a call and Mr. Miyosaka came downstairs. Working girls always knew when shit was about to go down, so they began moving towards the exits, despite the groans from the patrons.

I watched as Caius shot Mr. Miyosaka in the knee. Then, shit got heavy. Bullets went flying everywhere. Our men outnumbered Moyosaka's three to one, so we came out the victors. No one on our side suffered any serious injuries.

"You're the example. Don't fuck with the Volturi again," I said, shooting our former business partner in the other knee.

He yelped in pain while screaming, "Bakayarou," over and over again.

Our men looted the club, breaking down the safe and taking everything of value. The few girls that had stayed were frightened. I separated the money into piles and handed a stack to each of them, along with the phone numbers to another club in the city that was hiring.

"Do we torch it," Felix asked, coming up behind me.

I shrugged. "Leave it as an example."

We had our armored SUV parked around the back alley entrance. Cai and I were heading to the Escalade when a bullet whizzed past my head. Without a glance, I pumped my SIG, turned around, and shot for the kill.

"Ugh," someone cried out as they fell to the ground.

Caius crouched behind me and took out another threat. After we deduced that there were only two, we stood up and walked over to identify. From afar, they didn't look Japanese, so I knew there was chance that they were just muscle.

When Cai turned the one I'd shot over, I fucking vomited. He was built like a man, but his youthful features suggested that he was just a kid. I'd never killed a child or a woman until then. 

The whole night I had nightmares. Bella called, but I didn't answer. The next day we sent Jenks to offer the money. The mother closed the door in his face, saying there was no price that could repay her for what she'd lost. 

"It's not your fault," Cai whispered as the car drove towards home.

I took out a joint and lit it. "Tell that to his mom."


When I came back to the present, both of my Godfathers were staring at me. I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling really fucking tired. Sometimes I wished that I had chosen a different life. I didn't want the Mafia life for DC or even Bella, but it was too late.

Marcus wrapped his arm around my shoulders while Cai continued to stare. "Edward, you need to go back to counseling, son. Dr. Uley called to say he's worried. Bella says that you don't go with her to see Athena. If I find out you're taking shit again, I'm sending you to rehab, Capisce?"

I had to lie. There was no fucking way I could do rehab. "I'm clean. You can ask Bella. She'll vouch for me. I've been drinking a lot, though."

Cai nodded. "Stay away from the drugs. I've seen many good Dons go down that road and never come back. Do you think you can handle the Senate run right now? February is not that far away."

"I can handle that shit with my eyes closed. I'm leading according to the polls that Gina is running."

Marcus patted me on the back. "Good. I have high hopes for you, Edward. Mafioso have always played an important part in American politics, but my Father, rest his soul, didn't like it. We're counting on you to change that and also redistrict Washington State to make our business more profitable."

Cai handed me a handkerchief so that I could wipe some of the sweat off my face. It was fucking hot in this room.

"How are Gina Bartello and Anna Demarco working out? I used to golf with Gina's Dad before he got sent Upstate to Sing Sing. Good guy but not very smart," he mused.

I shrugged. "Gina is good at her job, but Bella doesn't trust her. So far, Anna has done with I ask of her. They both fit in well at HADES. I'm not attracted to either one of them."

Marcus laughed and stood up. "You should listen to Bella. If she says Gina is no good, you should let her go. I can't force you, but in my experience, women are always right about other women. Don't mess up, Edward. You're not Eddie Sr. Be your own man," he warned.

"I won't fuck it up," I promised, hoping that it was true.

"Oh and before you go, Vince Campinelli and several members of the Cosa Notra are coming to the pre-Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I want you on your best, Edward. He's going to try to get a rise out of you. Our Families could benefit from doing business together. Keep it together," Marcus ordered, raising his eyebrows.

I put my hand over my heart. "You have my word."

Soon after, I was allowed to go upstairs. My fucking clothes reeked of cigar smoke, putrid sweat, and liquor. I needed a shower before I even looked at my babydoll. Unfortunately, she was waiting for me in the hallway when I arrived at our part of the mansion.

"What happened to you," she asked, eyeing me nervously.

Slowly, I stepped forward. "Nothing. I'm just fucking tired. How about you join me for a nice hot shower? I'll make it worth your while."

She backed up until she hit the wall. "No! You talk to me like I don't even matter, treat me like a doormat, and ridicule in front of everyone. I'm your wife. I deserve to be treated better than this. If you think I'm going to let you have me after what you pulled..."

I inserted my knee between her legs and applied pressure. "In a minute you'll be begging for it. You want this as much as me."

Weakly, my babydoll tried to push me away. I grabbed her tiny wrists, raising them over her head. "Damn you," she whimpered, offering her lips to me.

Chuckling, I hoisted her over my shoulder and stomped to the bathroom. In less than a minute, we were both naked and trembling. There was an uncertainty I was unused to in Bella's eyes, but the lust and hunger were stronger.

I leaned against the all glass and pointed to the floor. "Down on your knees, Bella. I want to feel your sweet mouth on me."

"You don't deserve it. You haven't even apologized," she yelled, backing away from me.

"Don't deny me, babydoll. I'm your fucking husband. Do what I say," I snarled.

She shook her head and began putting her clothes back on. "I don't know why I agreed to this in the hallway. Something is wrong with you, Edward. I can't help you until you let me inside."

I stalked over, grabbing her arm roughly. "You said you loved me through the good and bad. Show me. I'm at war with myself. I need you. I promise we'll talk afterwards."

She dropped the clothes she was holding and got down on the floor. "I'm even more messed up than you," she mumbled, licking my shaft.

While she worked my cock, I stared at myself in the mirror. My muscles bulged and contracted as Bella's masterful mouth brought me close to completion. She was so much tinier than me, but right now, she held all the fucking power in her soft hands.

"Fuck yeah. Swallow. Just like that," I panted, using her hair as reigns.

When I felt myself about to come, I stood up and carried her to the glass wall. There, I turned her around and got down on my knees. Gently, I spread her legs and buried my tongue deep inside her pussy. She clawed at the wall, staying silent.

"You're always so fucking good, babydoll," I moaned, lining myself up.

She didn't make a noise as I stretched her walls. Something was wrong. My babydoll was usually fucking drenched. Since she wasn't, I pulled out and spit on my cock several times. Then, I pushed back in and pressed down on her clit.
"Do whatever you want," she said, facing the wall.

Like a bull in heat, I rutted and plundered into her hot center. My babydoll was practically motionless, so I had to move her hips. I tried kissing her neck, spanking her ass, and pinching her nipples, but nothing made her loosen up.

Finally, I wasn't able to hold my orgasm in any longer. "Ungh! Fuck, Bella," I yelled, almost collapsing on her back. There was no screaming or pussy clenches. This was the first time since we'd started fucking that Bella didn't come.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

She walked over to the Jacuzzi, turned it on, and poured some fruit-scented bubble bath shit into the water. All of this was done without a word to me. Feeling like a fucking monster, I stared wide eyed as she came under the light. Bella had bruises on her body. A lot of damn bruises.

"Did I give you these?" I asked, inspecting a particularly nasty one on her hipbone.

She lowered her head. "There was a time when I loved wearing your marks. They were a sign of the passion and love we felt for one another. Now, you just use my body. There is no intimacy, Edward. I don't know how much more I can take. I keep telling myself that it will get better if I hold on, but we're drifting father apart. I'm trying to make this work for us and for Dante, but I feel like I'm losing myself."

I sat down on the edge of the tub and rubbed my eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry, babydoll.

She laughed softly. "You always say that, but then you turn right around and hurt me again. I just wish you'd be honest with me. Is there… someone else?"

I smirked. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? All along, you've been waiting for me to cheat on you. Why don't you just leave me and save yourself all this pain."

Bella stepped over the edge and submerged herself underwater. Tiredly, I went to start the shower. We were in the same fucking room, but it felt like we were thousands of miles apart. I had a sinking feeling that this was the beginning of the end.

Later, after a nap in separate rooms, we went downstairs for dinner. Thankfully, everyone had taken turns watching our son so that we could rest. I still felt like shit because Bella wasn't talking to me.

I entered the dining room, stopping to watch as Jasper burped DC. Alice was next to him drawing in her sketchbook. They were so in tune with each other. She'd shift and he'd do the same. I remembered a time when it had been like that for Bella and me.

"It's too bad Rose, Em, and the boys aren't here," Di pouted, directing the maid.

Mom smiled. "We hog them all the time. Rose has an elderly Aunt and Uncle who practically begged them to come visit them in Maine this year. We'll all be together for Christmas next month," she soothed.

My babydoll stepped forward with Bree hot on her heels. After a brief conversation, the women went to the kitchen. Alice followed soon after, giving me a kiss on the cheek as she passed. Despite my frustration, I couldn't help but smile at her.

After I sat down, Jasper handed over DC. He smelled really good, like that expensive baby wash that Bella used on him. I kissed his cheeks and played with his fingers as he lovingly looked up at me. I was failing him and he didn't even know it.

"I'm going to fix things with mommy," I promised, rocking him gently.

"Baah-paaaaa-baaaa," he cooed while kicking his legs.

Jasper laughed and mimicked his nephew. "Dude, I can't wait until he can really talk. I think he's trying to communicate already, though. It must be pretty cool, having a son and all."

I nodded and wiped DC's wet mouth. "It's fucking wonderful. You and my sister thinking of adding to the family?"

He turned green and sputtered. "No…no… I mean, uh, someday, but Alice is enough right now. She has a toy room with dollhouses and Barbies. I don't think I could deal with two hyper small people."

We were still laughing when Riley walked in with Jake and Leah. Jake was officially on the Volturi payroll, so he was required to meet the other Families. His hair had grown back but still wasn't as long as it had been. Leah looked like she'd just came from a spa day.

"When did you guys get in," Jasper asked, as they sat down.

"An hour ago. Jake, you stay here. I'm going to see if the girls need any help," Leah said, kissing him on the cheek.

After she left, Riley turned on ESPN so we could watch football. My son made me proud by making ugly faces at the New England Patriots. I hoped he'd grow up to be a Bears fan. There was a game tomorrow whicj we were all going to attend together.

"Touchdown!" Jasper and Riley yelled as the Seattle Seahawks scored.

DC bounced his little butt on my knee and did some kind of baby fist pump. Everyone laughed and shook his little hand. Our son was really fucking cute with his tousled bronze hair, green eyes, and fat rosy cheeks.

A few minutes later, Cai, Carlisle, and Marcus joined us. Immediately, Dante reached for Caius, which made me a little fucking jealous, but when I saw how his face lit up, I eagerly handed my son over. I knew Cai loved children. Many of them were freaked out about his albinism, but Dr. A's daughter, Penny, and DC didn't seem to notice or care.

During the fourth quarter, the women came back. Bella sat next to me and played peek-a-boo with Dante until he held out his arms for her. Cai handed him over and went to call his girlfriend. I watched in awe as Bella held him to her breasts and hummed softly. He put his thumb in his mouth, and shortly after, fell asleep.

"How did you do that," I asked, astonished.

She shrugged and laid him across her lap. "It's a mommy thing."

The Seahawks ended up winning the game. I helped my wife tuck our baby boy into bed. Di had arranged a nursery downstairs so that we were never far away. The baby monitor stayed on the dining table just in case he woke up and was scared.

Everyone seemed in good spirits as we ate grilled seafood and vegetables. the food was good, but my babydoll didn't seem to have much of an appetite.

"Eat," I ordered as I inserted a forkful of lobster into her mouth.

"I'm not really hungry," she replied, chewing slowly.

All of the couples at the table were talking or taking turns feeding each other. In comparison, Bella and I looked like strangers or distant enemies. Seeing her pick at the food made me lose my appetite.

The rest of the night passed quickly. Dante woke up, Bella fed him, I walked him, and he went back to sleep. Then we did the same. Bella didn't lay her head on my chest, and I didn't talk to her. I felt the rift growing as I drifted into a restless sleep.


The next day, I decided to show Bella some of my past. I thought that it might help her understand me, and maybe help me understand myself. We were sinking fast, and I didn't know how to put us back right.

At breakfast, I took a Xanax to help with the anxiety. Mom and Dad fed DC cereal as I planned out the day. They offered to babysit him so I could take Bella to our old house.

"Are you sure, Edward?" she asked, getting into the car.

"Positive," I answered, buckling her seat belt.

It took half an hour to reach my old home. The well manicured lawns of the neighborhood signified class and money. Wide-eyed, Bella stared out the window as I pulled up to the biggest home on the street.

"Wow," she sighed.

It wasn't as big as the Volturi mansion, but the blue Colonial-style house was still opulent. My hands began to shake as I recalled all the times I'd come home after a night of partying to see Alice playing in the front yard. Like most people, I had some very good and some very bad memories of growing up.

"Let's go inside," I suggested, taking Bella's hand. Luckily, she didn't pull away.

"This is beautiful, Edward. Do you rent the house out," she asked while twirling around the front room.

"No. It's just a museum to remember the past. Mom wants to sell it, but I don't know if we should. We fucking grew up here."

She let me lead her around the upstairs and downstairs. There was hardly any furniture because Mom had taken all that she wanted and given away a lot to charity. When that happened, I'd been estranged from my family so I didn't get a say in shit.

"This was my room," I said, leading her inside. Some of my old football and baseball trophies were still on the shelf. There were also pictures of me with my father.

"You look just like him," Bella said, touching one of the frames.

I looked away, not liking the unfamiliar emotions forming in my chest. "Yeah, we fucking looked alike, but I hope that I don't end up like him."

My babydoll sat the frame down and sat down on my old King-sized bed. I never brought bitches to my house, but I'd wanked off a lot in the room. Of course, seeing my angel there made me hard, but mostly I just felt…sad.

"Tell me something about your past that you used to do here," she prompted.

I smirked, putting my arm around her waist. "There used to be a television mounted in the corner. My dad used to buy me pornos from all around the world. After my first time, I turned into a real pussy hound. I jerked off all the time. Thank fuck we had maids and shit because I wasn't always clean. Dad made sure I had a lock on my door. Esme could only come inside if I gave her permission. He said men needed their privacy."

"That's messed up," Bella said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"When my parents would fight, I'd come in here and crank up the music. If Alice was awake, I'd let her sleep with me until they calmed down. Towards the end, they were always yelling. My father would say mean shit to mom and throw his bitches in her face. She would cry for a long time afterwards. Back then, I thought she deserved it for letting him treat her that way."

My babydoll scooted closer to me. "Do you feel the same about me? Sometimes you look at me like I disgust you. Your mom wasn't weak. She loved your dad and her children. She braved it all for you. I'm trying to do the same for us and for Dante."

I laid down, pulling her on top of me. She settled her small head over my heart and inhaled deeply. For a long time, we just held each other. I wanted to confess all of my sins, just fucking lay them out, but I refused to drag my angel down to Hell with me.

All of a sudden, Bella unzipped our pants. She worked me a little while pulling her underwear and pants off. After that, she guided my dick inside of her. We both hissed from the friction. This time she was very wet.

"Just sit back and enjoy, Edward," she moaned, throwing off her shirt.

The ride was slow, pleasurable, and fucking sweet.

"Ahhh. Feels so good, Edward. Just like this," she mumbled, licking my neck.

"Bella… I'm so sorry…for the way…been acting. You always know how to make me feel better. Don't leave me. I'm a mess, but I need you. Please don't leave me," I begged, reaching my first climax.

For round two, I rolled my babydoll over and placed her legs over my shoulders. With each thrust, I got closer and closer to her G-spot. When I hit it, she opened her eyes wide and kissed me deeply as the wave swept over us.

I pumped and pumped until there was nothing left. As we listened to each other's heart beat, I felt like we'd gotten a piece of our magic back. I knew that it was only a temporary fix, though. The monster was only sated, not controlled.

Luckily, the house still had working plumbing so we were able to clean up. Bella found some empty boxes and made me pack some pictures and trophies inside. She wanted us to put them in our house after it was built.

"Not all memories are bad, Edward," she whispered, taping up the last box.

I carried them to the car while we waited for it to heat up. Then we drove to Soldier Field. The Chicago Bear's owner was a good friend of the Volturi, so we had the owner's box for the game .It was a good thing, too, because it was fucking freezing outside.

Everyone was there when we arrived. Dante was wearing a red sweater and jeans outfit. My babydoll took him to the back so that she could feed him. I watched as they did their thing, content just to sit at her feet. When that was done, we returned and Di took DC.

My babydoll sat in my lap as I tried to explain the game of football to her. Jasper and Jake said they'd both tried and failed. I gave up after the third time she cheered for the wrong team. Laughing, she kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm good at other things," she whispered.

I remembered what we'd just done an hour ago and smirked. "You sure are, babydoll. Any idiot can run a fucking ball up and down the field, but putting up with an asshole like me takes skill."

At halftime, I liberated my son from the stifling grandmothers and fed him. Bella, Bree, and Alice were talking about some fucking fashion show that I didn't want my babydoll to participate in at all. I'd be damned if some horny fuckers got to eye-fuck her on a stage!

Riley handed me a beer as he took a seat. "I like American football better than soccer."

Bree came over and was immediately curled up next to him. "Before I was sold, I used to play the soccer in my village. It popular there. I don't understand this game."

"You played soccer," both Riley and I asked skeptically, looking at her delicate form.

She smiled. "I did! I am not much to look at, but I am very, very strong. After my accident, my back hurt too much. I stop playing. I used to cry."

Riley pulled her closer to him and kissed her nose. "You can play again, darling. Carlisle said that the surgeons have worked wonders for people who have your type of spinal injury."

"In the meantime, we'll teach you about American football. You'll probably pick it up faster than Bella," I teased.

My wife walked up behind me and smacked me on the back of the head. "I heard that, Edward Cullen! Just explain it one more time. The nickelback is the one that passes the ball…"

Everyone laughed as my angel's face turned crimson. I licked her cheeks. "Quarterback," we all shouted at once.

For the first time in weeks, I was relaxed. The game ended with us winning 32-17. The owner had a box of signed memorabilia waiting for us, so we didn't have to go on the field. I was glad, because I didn't want any asshole players staring at Bella's ass.

We ate lunch at one of the best Italian restaurants in the city. Dante gnawed on a breadstick while we all ate our weight in deep dish pizzas. It was nice just spending time with our family and friends.

Hours later, we made it back to the mansion. Everyone was tired so we decided to nap before the night time dinner. My babydoll fell asleep in bed with Dante as he suckled her nipple. I waited until he was done and the, changed his diaper. Unfortunately, he was not tired. It took three songs and a long walk to get him down.

"Sweet dreams, figlio," I whispered while kissing his soft forehead. When he slept, he looked more like Bella than me. They both had an innocence I'd lost long ago.

I was dreaming of my silver Corvette when I felt soft fingers in my hair. "Wake up, sleepyhead. You have thirty minutes."

I moved away and mumbled, "Five more minutes."

"Don't you want to see the corset and panties before I put my dress on?" Bella asked flirtatiously.

Damn you woman!

I sat up and rubbed my bleary eyes. "Holy hell. Did your tits get bigger? What dress are you wearing tonight? I don't want.."

"Guys eye-fucking my wife," she finished, laughing.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom. "I'm just a constant source of amusement for you, aren't I?"

She patted my ass. "You have other uses."

Unfortunately, there was no time for fun. I needed to impress my Godfathers by being a Don they could be proud of tonight. With that thought in mind, I bathed, shaved ,and dressed in a tailored slate gray suit, pristine white shirt, and black leather loafers. Then, I sprayed on some Armani and waited for Bella to do her thing with my hair.

"You look so handsome," she complimented, kissing me on the jaw.

I took one look at her dress and closed my eyes. "Change. You got the sleeves right, but it's too fucking short and tight."

Sighing, she ignored me as usual. "Dante is ready. Alice will be here to do my hair in a minute. I'm perfectly fine."

Bella's cashmere black dress had long sleeves and didn't reach her knees. It hugged her in all the right, or wrong if you asked me, places; especially accentuating her tiny waist, plump ass, and beautiful tits. She was even wearing stiletto heels. No fucking way!

Again, I took a deep breath. "Please, babydoll. There will be a lot of Mafioso here tonight. I don't want them looking at you. I'll get into a fight and ruin shit."

She rolled her heavily made up eyes at me. "I'll wear stockings. Will that help?"

Knowing that I'd lost this one, I just nodded. The stockings actually made it worse. A lot of Italian fuckers had pantyhose fetishes.

"Hey, where is your engagement ring?" Bella asked, looking at my finger.

"I took it off in the lair. It's in the safe there. I'm sorry, babydoll," I lied.

She shrugged. "It's fine. You have your wedding band. I 'm just so used to you wearing the Tungsten. Oh well, it'll be safe in the lair."

I made a mental note to have my men search for it. Then I kissed my angel and headed out to find my son. He was being held, as usual, by one of the oldest matrons of the Volturi. Beatrice's husband had died a long time ago. He'd worked as one of Aro's favored guards. She was now ninety-eight and showed no signs of dying.

"Beautiful, bambino," she cooed, kissing DC all over his face. He smiled and slobbered. My son had a way with women.

I watched them as some of the older wives began arriving. They greeted me with hugs, kisses, and requests to meet Bella before finding nirvana with Dante. With all the screaming and happy sighs, you would have thought a male stripper was in the house.

"He looks just like Edward," they said looking back and forth as they took in our features.

I felt a small body brush against my back. Slowly, I turned around. My babydoll was a fucking vision. Alice had done her hair up with a pearl comb. She had on her pearl necklace and earring set that I'd given her a few months ago. All in all, she looked really fucking sexy but classy, too.

"You look beautiful," I said, kissing her pulse point.

Unfortunately, we were interrupted by the geriatrics. "There she is! That must be the Bella. Oh my. No wonder our Edward fell so hard. She's more beautiful than the pictures..."

Di and Esme came forward and ushered Bella into the room. "Pray for me," she whispered, letting go of my hand.

I stayed long enough to make sure that she was comfortable. The water birth story won them over, and like always, my wife became the queen of the room. After winking at her, I departed. Part of me felt guilty for leaving my son in the estrogen den, but he looked really happy chewing on his baby cookie.

"Edward, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Marcus said, handing me a flute of champagne.

Vince Campinelli was tall and swarthy, just like his father had been. He looked like a stereotypical Italian Mafioso with the slicked back hair and suspenders. I knew he was only four years older than me but wasn't close to my financial or personal success. He was still single and had yet to make double digit millions.

"Buen giorno, Edward. It's been a long time," he said, shaking my offered hand.

Playing the fucking nice host, I smiled. "I was sorry to hear about your dad's passing. Marcus tells me that you're ready to change your ways and possibly do business with us."

He nodded and played with his bow tie. "My father was a good man. He loved Italy with all his heart and soul. Growing up, we were only permitted to speak Italian in the house. No English. Back then, all the families were pure Italian blood. It was a rule."

Marcus grabbed us all another flute of champagne and led us to an empty corner. Quietly, Caius joined the conversation. There were slick eyes watching us from every direction, but it was clear this was a private meetings between Dons.

"Hors d'oeuvres?" A servant offered, holding out a silver tray.

Vince took several of the small sandwiches. He wasn't fat, but he had a lot of muscle like Emmett. Marcus and I shared a look as he daintily ate and sipped from his flute. So far, things were looking good.

I was checking the messages on my phone when I heard Vince gasp. Both Marcus and I looked up to see what had garnered a reaction from him. When I noticed the woman who held his gaze, I groaned and stood up.

"She is exquisite," he murmured, rising from his seat.

She is my wife and the mother of my son," I snarled, blocking his view.

Oblivious, Bella was laughing at something some old fucker was saying. It didn't escape my notice that his eyes didn't for further than her tits. Usually I would have been fucking angry, but I knew the guy was too old to do anything; unlike Vince who was still sizing up Bella.

"Please invite her over. I wish to meet her," he begged, looking at me.

My babydoll smiled radiantly as I asked everyone to excuse us and took her small hand.

"Business," I whispered in ear. She nodded.

"Vince Campinelli, I'd like you to meet my wife, Isabella Cullen."

Bella held out her hand. "How do you do, Mr. Campinelli?"

The fucker almost kissed it until he looked in my eyes. Wisely changing his mind, he returned the greeting respectfully.

"Please sit down, tesoro. Are you Italian? Where did you meet, Edward," Vince asked, practically bouncing in his seat.

Tesoro? She's my fucking treasure, not yours. I mentally seethed.

My Godfathers cleared their throats but the motherfucker didn't seem to notice. He just kept staring at my wife! Unlike the old fucker, he seemed most interested in her face. My babydoll's eyes were lined and she had on some pale pink lipstick--the only makeup she wore.

As usual, Bella's blush came out to make her even more beautiful.

"I'm not Italian. My ancestors were Spanish, British, and Native American. I met Edward in Seattle. I used to be his secretary," my angel answered as she cuddled closer to me.

If possible, Vince's black eyes darkened as he looked at our joined hands. "You're a lucky man, Cullen."

Bella kissed my cheek. "I'm a lucky woman. Edward is a wonderful husband and father. Our son loves his daddy so much. Well, um, I'll go so you guys can talk business. Dante was a little fussy when I left him. I'm just going to put him to sleep."

I helped her up and made sure that Vince saw me brush my hand over her ass before she left.

The fucker was playing at something, and I didn't like it one damn bit. Fuckers could come at me, but involve my family and they'd pay.

"What was that all about?" I asked, taking my seat again.

He smiled wistfully. "Nothing. It's just nice to have the company of a beautiful woman at times. I'm neither married nor do I have children. I might as well throw my life into the business."

For the next hour, we discussed shit. Jasper, Jake, and many other men came to join us. Riley was introduced to everyone. There was shock on many people's faces when I invited him to sit next to me. The Russians and Italians hadn't been tight in years.

It was decided that we'd let the Cosa into some of our weapons trades. In return, they would help us with the illegal rare jewel market. It wasn't easy getting that shit out of countries, and by law, there was only a certain amount that was allowed to be shipped.

After we hashed out general details, one of the waiters handed every man a glass of Scotch. Marcus stood up and held his glass out. "Today represents the Cosa Notra and La Camorra of Chicago working together as an alliance. May there be peace."

"Salute!" was yelled all around as the party got into full swing.

We'd had our meeting in public because many Mafia families were present. Marcus wanted them to see the power of the Volturi in hopes that they'd brag about it. Part of being a legend was being fucking awesome, but the other part was having people think you were fucking awesome.

My babydoll came to me as soon as I left the little enclave. She led me to the dance floor where we proceeded to slow grind and flirt like teenagers.

"Did it go well," she asked shakily.

I nodded. "Don't be afraid to ask me shit, Bella. I was wrong the other day. You're my confidant. Business is good."

The traditional Italian dinner was fucking delicious. We ate in the formal dining hall, which was decked out with red walls and expensive paintings. Di had decorated the home, and Marcus spared her nothing. I was hoping to do the same for Bella's dream house.

My son made his official debut wearing a little red sweater vest and pants. My babydoll and I walked him around the room while people complimented and congratulated us. DC ate up the attention, being more adorable than usual.

Hours later, we were tired. The guests started to file out with leftovers and promises to come back. My babydoll was already half asleep. Dante had long since been put to bed. There was a guard outside of the nursery because Bella didn't trust the women. She was scared that would try to run off with him.

I carried my babydoll up the stairs as the cleaning staff began their work. She surprised me by asking to set up the fireplace. I did that and poured us some apple cider. Then we sat on the bear-skin rug and talked about general shit.

Before long, we were naked and making love in front of the fire. Bella's tits looked amazing in the glowing light. I suckled her as we dissolved into each others heat. The buildup was slow so the reward was even better. I came and hardened inside of her pussy more times than I could count.

"I love you," we whispered in unison, finally finding slumber.

Alice woke us up early the next morning. It had snowed enough that we have a snowball fight. My babydoll dressed DC in a ridiculous looking blue snow suit with a fur hoodie. He screamed bloody-fucking-murder as she tried to calm him down.

"I know, son. Let your mom have her fun."

Bella pushed me away. "He looks so cute. Plus, he'll be warm."

Playing outside was fun. Bree and Riley were used to Russian winters, so they didn't think it was that cold. Alice hopped on Jasper's back and made him run her all around the yard. Jake and Leah took one look at the ground and went back inside where it was warm.

Around noon, Dr. A and Penny arrived. Caius looked really damn happy. My babydoll let Penny play with Dante in the snow. The little girl made a snowball and held it up to DC's nose. He giggled wildly, reaching his fat little gloved fists out until she let him touch it.

We stayed outside for another hour to work up an appetite. My son's cheeks matched his mother's. As I watched them go into the house, I thought about how much better this Thanksgiving was than last year.

After changing into formal clothes, a black suit for me and a long purple wrap gown for my angel, we went downstairs. I was fucking relieved that it was just family because Bella's fucking dress made her tits look amazing.

Di had gone all out. The longest table in the house was set and filled with food. DC wore his little black Gucci suit for the pictures, and then, Bella changed him into a green 'Happy Thanksgiving' footy onesie.
As we sat down, Marcus handed me the knives so I could carve the first slice of turkey. I laid it on my babydoll's plate, and she beamed at me.

"Let's go around and say what we're thankful for," Mom suggested, keeping our traditions.

Everyone took turns saying the usual. Bella said she was thankful that she would never be alone again. Jasper was thankful for finally finding someone who loved him. Penny was thankful for Dante, who she referred to as her baby. Everyone was thankful for health and family.

When it was my turn, I lifted Bella's hand and kissed her knuckles. "I'm thankful that this wonderful woman loves my stupid ass and has given me a son, something I thought I'd never have. Thank you, babydoll."

"Sap," Caius teased, winking at me.

"This is why you have to come back to counseling, Edward. We need you and Bella's kind of love in this world," Dr. A. said.

"I'll do better," I promised.

Minutes later, the plates were filled. Dante sat in my lap because he didn't like his high chair. Bella and I fed him mashed bits of stuffing, potato, and mac and cheese. Most of it ended up on his bib, but it was a lot of fun to watch his expressions as he tried different things. He definitely shared my hate of squash.

I talked to him while he ate. "Last year you were just a tiny little seed in mommy's stomach, and now you're here eating with the grownups. Time flies, son."

Pretty soon, the sweets came. We found out desserts were Dante's favorite. He had Bella's sugar habit. We only fed him a little pumpkin mush. Carlisle said it was okay for him to have small bits of natural, less processed food.

Somehow, we managed to sing Christmas carols after the feast. Bella sat next to me while I played "Silent Night" on the piano. Dante slept peacefully in his bassinet as we shared hot chocolate and laughter.

Deep down, I knew that all this holiday had done was put a band aid on the wound that was our marriage. Unless we made real changes, there was no way for us to last. At times, I thought about leaving my family. Perhaps they would be better off without all my shit.

After we put our son to bed, Bella put a silk midnight blue nightgown on and cuddled with me. We kissed a little, and then she fell asleep while sighing my name. Restless, I watched her chest rise and fall as she dreamed.

Each time I dozed off, I had the same nightmare. It was the night of the shooting in Portland; everything was the same except the victim looked like an older version of Dante. I'd scream and the next scene would take me to the house, where it would be Bella closing the door on Jenks.

Because of that shit, I checked on DC five times, eventually putting him in bed with us. He cuddled close to his mom as I kept watch over them. I would never let some motherfucker kill my son and hurt my angel. I'd die a billion times over first.

At five in the morning, I got up and got dressed. My babydoll groaned and opened her eyes. She was careful not to wake up Dante, who was sleeping deeply splayed on his stomach.

"Where are you going?" she whispered.

Bending down, I kissed both she and our son. "I thought I'd go for an early morning drive. You can sleep in. I'm just restless."

"If you need me, I'll get up," Bella offered.

I shook my head. "No, you need to rest. I'll be back before you wake up. Text me if you need anything."

By the time I slipped out, she was already sound asleep again. "I love you both," I said, closing the door.

In the garage, I decided on one of the BMWs. A bodyguard offered to go with me, but I waved him off. This was something I had to do alone. The anger and sadness was eating me alive. I thought about calling Dr. Uley, but I craved the quick fix.

Driving well over the speed limit, I made it to the warehouse district in record time. The building I pulled up to looked regular on the outside but inside was a world motherfuckers paid dearly to visit.

After parking, I jogged to the back. There were two big motherfuckers on duty. They eyed me and waved me inside once I gave the correct secret password and a wad of cash. Before I took the first step, I thought about my babydoll. She would hate me for this.

A Chinese woman in a tight leather dress led me to a room with the number 22 on it. Shortly after, a big breasted woman with pale skin and long red hair entered. She stripped and sat on a chair while I stared at the floor.

I guess I was quiet for too long because she got in my face. "What do you want, pretty boy," she asked, sitting in my lap.

With a cry of defeat, I let the tears fall. "I want everything. Destroy me."

Svoloch (Russian)—Bastard
Testa di cazzo (Italian)—Dickhead
Bakayarou (Japanese)—Dumb Bastard

Time for me to hide with the Stoli again. Review to let me know what you think. I read them all even if I don't answer. Click the green button and get the next chapter faster. It's halfway done. *Huggles* to you all.


  1. Hay I finally figured out the background Loved it very much its sad to see someone willingly distroy there marriage Thanks for sharing this with us and I am excited to see what will happen next I really hope he pulls his head out of his ass soon update when you can RL can be a bitch sometimes.....

  2. The beggining of the end.....damn you Edward :(

    The lemons were a bit short but still tender. Best part was baby Dante, he is so fucking cute and adorable!!!!<3

  3. Oh no he didnt!
    *sigh* Poor edward and Bella never going to get it easy.
    What is he actually doing?! The fool! I hope Bella gives him a proper bitch slap at some point :D
    Anyway great update :)Thank you

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Edward is really starting to get on my nerves... Can we move on already?!

    Oh, and Bella is being a doormat. Can we give her a backbone pls!!!

  6. Its hard not to feel like I wasted my time reading this FF. I know that once Edward cheats (which he just did) I'll never want them back together so I guess I'm going to have to stop reading here. If the rest of this story is about how things get bad and then they make their way back to each other there is no possible scenario of HAE in which Edward-Bella end up together that is going to be satisfying. So what? Edward just rolls out of bed and decides to go cheat with a hooker? I very much hope that you have no plans of having him redeem himself by the end of this tale because there is just no way. I respect your decision to write this turn of events and as always, its beautifully done, but if Bella manages to forgive him for this then she'll honestly be a disgrace to all women. I'm surprised because in the prologue it seemed as though she still loved him and after someone treats you like that, soul mate or not, you fall out of love pretty quickly. I know. In the first part of LAMTAF you made Bella make his life a living hell to regain her affections, that was so very immature and hard to read and I just can't read more of that teenage bullshit. I honestly can't believe she was still allowing him to see their son in the prologue when its clear he's running his life into the ground. You can't be a bad person and a good father, you just cant. Anyway. Good luck with the rest of this story. Its over for me. I'm very disappointed in myself for reading it in the first place. You made us read through 35 chapters of struggle to get their relationship to a good place and blew it. It really feels like it was all for nothing. In this chapter Edward goes on and on about how they need to change to make the marriage work but Bella was nothing but sweet and supportive. She was a little down after the baby came but has been nothing short of a model wife ever since. It's obviously all in his head. He wants ride of her so bad that he's reflecting all this shit that isn't there. Can't say I'll trust you with my imagination again. I'll check the last chapter when you've finished this thing. If Bella has any respect for herself and this story ends without them together I'll be sure to issue you and apology. As of this chapter I just feel kind off sick.

  7. Hey B! How are you? How's the wedding stuff going on? Bet a lot of things to do huh?! But it will all be worth it!
    So...first what a journey this chapter was: I cried, I screamed, I laughed and I drank ;) Let me tell you...I've never did so many shots in such a small amount of time in my whole life so i blame you hahahah Just kidding!
    Anyways...that was the last blow:
    'With a cry of defeat, I let the tears fall. "I want everything. Destroy me."'
    God...even if I wanna beat the living shit out of Edward for all the crap he's doing I sort of understand his need to protect Bella and Dante from all the bad stuff even if its irrational and stupid...I knew it was going to be bad before it gets better but it still makes me fucking pissed...and even the godfathers told him to get rid of Gina whore but hes too damn proud to do that...I think sometimes Edward wants to protect Bella so much from his darkside that he forgets he is just as strong as he is...and his vulnerability is a strengh not a weakness...oh God and the sex on the bathroom...I felt as if a emotional rape...
    B it is easy to write all the good stuff and happy times but the real talent rests on the ones who can write about the heavy stuff making it real and honest so bb dont think about the haters who dont even have the guts to write a review with their own names...ASSHOLES!
    Anyways YOU ARE MY IDOL...and this fan right here LOVES ALL YOUR WORDS cuz you sure as hell have my trust and love!
    Gotta go...
    see you on tweet land...

  8. Can't say I like this turn of events but we knew it was coming. When I read the prologue I was furious about the cheating and was going to stop reading but decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I understand Edward’s reasoning now for why he cheated, I don’t like it or excuse it but I understand. Personally I have never been cheated on so I can’t say for certain what I would do, but I would like to think that I would kick him out of the house for a very long time. Given the circumstances I don’t believe a divorce is necessary but an immediate separation is. I do think that Bella needs to grow a bigger or stronger backbone like she had in the first story; I do feel that she is a doormat right now. I understand that she loves him and wants to be with him but you can’t let someone use you like Edward used her. I also don’t feel like this is very realistic in the sense that his godfathers and other family members are not really doing a whole lot to help him even though they see he is in trouble. This is a great story and I love reading it, you are an excellent writer although I wish you would update more I understand RL can be a problem and good updates take awhile. Thanks for writing such a great story for everyone to enjoy.

  9. just when things were getting at least a tinnnnnyyyyyy bit better he goes and cheats? does he cheat on bella please say, becuase as much as i love your story, becuase i do love it, this chapter or better the end of this chapter did an amazing job at ruining my day i am so dissapointed in him loved it though you are really talented update soon PLEASE!!!!! LUV Tally

  10. God theres not a lot of love going on here with reviews....

    My heart just hit my stomach when i read that last line, i wanna shake him, please please dont let him cheat Bella needs to grab him by the balls and show him whos boss, i cant see him redeaming himself if he cheats. Please let someone get there and stop him.

    Im a little shocked at the above reviews, it takes a lot to put what you right out there for everyone to tear apart, do people not realise this at the moment is a hobbie, you have a RL and family and for some one to turn around and shread what you work so hard to get to us kinda makes me think about what kinda people are in the fandom, im a firm believer in if you dont have something nice to say dont say it at all, yes your entitled to your opinion and if you wanna flounce the story go ahead but dont be a hater, that would ruin my week if my story got a review like that

  11. I truly believe that all of the hate comments are completely unneccesary. I don't think Bella acts like 'a doormat' at all. She's simply a woman who's in love with a man and doesn't want to lose him. People mistake true love for a lack of pride far too much.

    It takes a truly strong woman to stay with a man who lives the life that Edward does. I don't know if I would be able to do it and I give Bella mad props for doing so.

    I also think that Edward is a fantastic father, who loves his son more than life itself. You don't have to be a saint to be a good father, you just have to be able to love unconditionally and remember where your priorities are, which Edward does.

    Amazing chapter, as always. When I read the comments, I realized that mine didn't go through.

    I can't wait for the next update. I look forward to their journey and seeing where their lives shall go.

  12. Well I can say after reading the prologue I saw that one coming. I think you're doing a great job at writing this story. Of course I hate that Edward is cheating on Bella and I don't mean only by having sex with another woman but also hiding his true feelings for her that's also a form of lying and a sure blow on their relationship. But it is you're story to write and I think its great that the story goes ways we don't always like but just as in real life it isn't always nice. But it makes great stories.
    So keep up the good work.

  13. Tsk tsk oh bad bad Edward. Mostly I'm just concerned with the plane, I keep wondering if planes are actually like that lol /shallow review :P

  14. Bella a doormat? No fucking way! She just loves Edward too much and wants to save her marriage and her family. This is a totally realistic fic and congrats for that. After this chapter I can see why Edward is so broken. He needs to realize though that he is not cheating on Bella but on himself as well. He is just too weak even though he tries to appear strong and that's sad.

    Thank you for an amazing update B!

  15. Just finished reading this, and i must say, i can total say i understand what Edward is going through. I love the angst in this story, and the way you portray them as "REAL PEOPLE." marriage isn't all rainbows butterflies and sex. Edward is going through his own personal hell and he's making mistakes, people should remember some of the shit their husbands do when they're stressed out or pissed off, before they flame you about what Edward does.

    Edward really is lost right now and as a wife Bella is trying to do what she can to bring him out of that darkess. This chapter was real and in your face but there was nothing wrong with the situation. Edward isn't perfect. Never was. He's killed,maimed,bombed, and fucked up plenty of ppl in his life and it's comming back to haunt him. I love the way you are developing this and I can't wait to read more from you. Don't let the comments get to you. Some of these bitches are just really unrealistic and rude. Just because You don't have ed and b skipping in a fucking meadow singing showtunes doesn't mean this story or chapter wasn't fuck awesome. In fact it was fucktastic. Keep doing what you're doing. I love this. fuck the fucking fuckers who try to flame you. You're doing a wonderful job don't let any of them try to tell you different


  16. Thank you for that review. It was worth the wait. Tears at the end there :) Can't wait ahhh

  17. Oh Edward, I understand you feel like a devil, but you really are good inside, I just know it. I know Bella is trying to be a good wife and mother, but sometimes, it seems that anything you do, is wrong. My mom sometimes has this problem with my dad and they have been together 36 years! So, you are not alone in feeling this way, you just have to remember to try and communicate together. It would be better if Edward were better at doing this, but don't force it. I really love that you are writing this as realistically as you can. Having Babydoll and Donward always happy is not real life, they are going to fight, and sometimes even more since Donward is in the Mafia and is guarded. I cannot wait to see what else happens next with this story. I still hold out on the hope that even though their marriage falls, they will rise from the ashes and become stronger than ever :)

  18. I guess I was quiet for too long because she got in my face. "What do you want, pretty boy," she asked, sitting in my lap.
    With a cry of defeat, I let the tears fall. "I want everything. Destroy me."

    OMG! What does that mean?? Oh no!!!!
    Why Edward, why??? Poor Bella & Dante. Well, as I always say,"Makes for good reading!" Love it BB, love it!

  19. So now we know how it happened....

    What I don't get is why he did it. He KNOWS it's going to cost him and STILL does it. He's obviously hurting but he chose that life and I have a very hard time feeling sorry for him when he kills people constantly without thinking twice. I know he is concerned because of that boy but what about all the other people? They all chose that life and it's not nice or pretty but it is what it is. His life or theirs. I don't expect him not to feel but I do expect him to act like a real man and KNOW that by hurting himself or his family he is not helping the matter. I'm not mad but I'm just not impressed with his attitude. He is fucking it up and we can't do anything to stop it :(

  20. IGNORE ALL THE HATEFUL COMMENTS, they're ridiculous and if people were expecting a smooth ride with this story then they obviously didn't read L.A.M.T.A.F or remember the prologue for this fic.

    The whole point of the prologue was to show that they're having a tough time with keeping their marriage going strong what with all the emotional turmoil going on. I trust you as a writer to show all the twists and turns of this without losing the point of the story. What's important is that the LOVE between Edward and Bella is still being emphasized. Edward doesn't want Bella to see him at his lowest now matter how desperately he wants to reveal what happened in Portland. I don't think Bella is a pushover wife, she's said herself that she is trying to be there for him in whatever way he needs her to be.

    Edward's pain over hurting Bella and Dante is heartbreaking and you write it VERY WELL ;) Keep going with this story the way you intend to because it is very interesting.

  21. Great chapter, loved their Thanksgiving. but change is coming, and the demon in edward is out, poor bella :( looking forward to the next chapter.

  22. Oh Edward! I love his emotional struggle. He has so much anger and pain inside. I so hope he will let Bella inside some day. He has so much guilt and the death of the child hurts him like hell :(

  23. Wow seems like there is a lot of hate for both Edward and Bella. Edward is struggling with the fact that he killed a child. That is something very serious and horrible. He is trying to hide it from his wife probably bc he is scared she may look at him completely different. He doesn't feel he should deserve her and so keeps doing things to push her away. As for Bella, she is trying to keep her family together. She loves Edward and does not want to leave him. I think you are writing a very real story. We can't always read fluff. I enjoy the angst- especially if you promise a HEA.
    I am very curious to learn what Edward did exactly. I'm nervous and scared for the both of them. But I think they can get pass all of this if they COMMUNICATE! Can't wait for the next chapter :)

  24. wow so he is cheating on Bella. Thats pretty damn sad. They had such a wonderful holiday and he had to go and ruin things.