Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chapter 17: Fix You

"And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face And I…"

Fix You--Coldplay


I was so excited to learn that Bella was expecting. I had already called Di to gush about the birth of my first official grandchild. I made her promise to keep it a secret until Edward found out. It's not that I don't consider Em and Rose's kids as my grandchildren, it's just different. Edward and Alice came from my body. They had been nursed at my breasts. To know that my bambino was going to bring life into this world thrilled me to no end.

Carlisle checked Bella out and confirmed that everything looked good to him. When my husband did the ultrasound and I'd heard the first heartbeat, I thought my chest would burst. I was so happy for Bella. She's going to be a wonderful mother. From the questions she asked, I knew that she cared about her baby and wanted it to be healthy. Carlisle tried to ask about sexual history but I'd admonished him.

My future daughter in law blushed until she was the color of a tomato. She assured us both that she had only one sexual partner in her life and that was Edward. I already knew as much. They were so beautiful together. I knew my grandchild was going to be lovely. Best of all, Bella changed Edward so I thought that he was ready to be a father. She was worried about telling him because she had been on birth control and the pregnancy was unplanned, but Carlisle and I talked her into telling him sooner than later.

Later that night, Edward stormed into the house and demanded to see Bella. I immediately told him where she could be found. I could barely hide the smile on my face as he rushed to find her. After ten minutes my curiosity got the best of me and I went to check on them. I watched in horror as Bella punched Edward in the jaw.

He turned to her and said something that must have been cruel because she began crying and clutching her chest. Edward was coming to the door. I didn't want to be caught so I hid in the corner. He had tears in his eyes and he looked upset. I tried to get him to talk to me but he rushed out and left the house.

I went to check on Bella. She was curled onto the floor of the deck in the fetal position. Her eyes were swollen with tears and her nose was runny. I tried to pick her up but she just curled up and whined. That sound broke my heart.

"I told you…I told you that he wouldn't want the baby. He…called me a whore. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me or his child. Oh Esme, it…hurts too much. I loved him…this hurts."

I laid right down on the floor and cried with her. I really thought Edward had changed. Seeing firsthand how he hurt this sweet girl showed me that he was still his father's son. That was something that I couldn't live with. I would be damned if Bella was forced to live the life I had to endure before Carlisle.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called my husband. I didn't say anything. It only took ten seconds before he was by my side. He took in the sight of Bella and I crying on the ground and his jaw clenched. He was angry. I'd only seen him like this one other time and that was last year when Edward had broken my heart by refusing to spend the holidays with us.

He helped me up. He kissed me on the lips before kneeling down to get Bella. She was still sobbing. Deep broken sounds escaped her throat. Carlisle carried her upstairs to her bedroom. We took the deck steps to avoid any confrontations. If Jasper saw her in this condition, I might not be able to stop him from doing serious harm to Edward.

I asked Carlisle to give us a minute. He left the room and I undressed Bella. She was catatonic. I'm not even sure she knew I was in the room with her. I put on her pajamas and braided her thick hair. Tears were still falling out of her eyes.

"Don't worry, dear, I'm going to fix this for you. You just calm down and get some rest."

She squeezed my hand to let me know that she had heard. I kissed her on the forehead and smoothed the blanket around her shoulders before leaving. My husband was in the hallway pacing. His beautiful blue eyes were full of worry and concern. I said a silent 'thank you' to God for sending me such a precious creature.

The minute he saw me, he pulled me into his arms. "Esme, are you all right sweetheart? Is Bella okay? I can give her something to sooth her nerves."

I hugged him closer. "No, honey, she'll be fine. Just let her cry it out. She's almost asleep now. We have to go find Edward. I'm going to kick his ass."

Carlisle was taken aback by my use of language. I rarely cursed or showed such extreme anger. He agreed to help me. We went out back to see Edward's bodyguard. I asked him to tell me where Edward was. I was sure that he would know. He pulled out some electronic device that Carlisle said was a tracker. The device gave the exact location of Edward's car. He was at the Fairmount. Alec insisted on driving us there. We accepted.

I rocked back and forth during the whole drive. I was just so damn angry with my son for ruining his chance at love yet again. The months that Bella had been gone had been hard on all of us. He wasn't the only one that missed her. In the little time that we'd known each other, she became a part of our family. I wasn't going to let my daughter go without a fight.

The moment the car stopped I got out and ran into the hotel. The manager knew me because I'd done the interior design on one of their honeymoon suites. I asked for Edward Cullen's room and was given a key. I took the elevator up. I'm sure Carlisle was wondering where I'd gotten off to but I didn't have time to wait on him.

When I got to Edward's room, I put my card in the slot and stepped inside. I could hear female laughter coming from the room. He had behaved just like his father; when times got rough he'd run to the company of whores. My blood surged with rage.

"Whoever is in there has five minutes to get the hell out of this hotel room. I need to talk to my son. Now!"

I heard the voice of a female pouting but Edward told her to leave. Three blonde women, who had obviously been engaging in sex, filed past me. I was so disgusted that I had to turn away.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, get your ass out here! You have a lot of explaining to do!"

My son came out a minute later. He looked like death warmed over. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin was pale, and his jaw was swelling. His emerald eyes were dark and filled with dread. He was wearing a robe. He had cheated on Bella. She was never going to get over this and I would have no choice but to tell her. My stomach dropped.

"What do you want, Mother? I'm in no mood to talk. Nothing you can say is going to make it better."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I walked over to him and slapped him on the cheek. I did it again and again until he pushed my hand away.

"Damn, Mom, that fucking hurt. Why are you hitting me?"

I went to sit in a chair in the corner. "Don't use that vulgar language with me young man! Edward, your girlfriend just told you that she's having your baby and you call her names and make her cry. I'm ashamed of you.

"Sometimes, I wish you were never born. Your father may have been a god in your eyes, but he was never there for you when you needed him the most. I was the one that changed all your diapers. I was the one that sat up with you and Ali when you got the flu or the chicken pox. And I was the one that was forced to watch helplessly as he corrupted you and destroyed our family."

I didn't really mean the part about regretting Edward's birth but it came out before I could stop it. Edward came to kneel in front of me. I looked up and what I saw blew me away. He was frantic. Tears sprung from his eyes and he screamed out in pain.

"It's…it's…mine. Bella's having my…baby? But…she was on birth control?"

I explained to him about the medicine she had taken that counteracted her birth control. He buried his head in my lap. I could feel his tears soaking through my cotton pants.

"I didn't know, Mom. I…saw her with Alec…I thought that him and her…" He couldn't finish.

I rubbed his head and let him cry it out. My bambino was in so much pain. The chair began to shake with the force of his sobs.

"Shhh, mommy is here. I'm going to help you fix things. I didn't mean what I said earlier. You're my best boy, like always."

Alec and Carlisle burst through the door. Edward's head popped up and he glared in their direction. I helped my son stand up so we could all talk. Edward pushed Alec against the wall. Carlisle tried to intervene but I held him back. Edward needed to find out the truth.

"You motherfucker! I saw you, in the guesthouse with Bella. I have an eyewitness that saw you enter and leave her apartment. Did you threaten her? I'm going to kill you for touching my babydoll."

Alec pushed Edward off of him. "Of course I didn't threaten Bella. She saved my life. You can't honestly think...that she would...How could you even think such a thing? She loves you so much. I'm sorry for going behind your back, but I needed Bella's help with something. We can all talk about it later. I swear to you that it's not what you think."

Edward seemed to be confused. "You mean…you and Bella never…she didn't cheat. Fuck, I'm such a fucking idiot. I hurt her again."

I knew the moment that it all came together for him. His jaw dropped and he turned to face me. I nodded my head. Bella had never cheated; he was the only man she'd ever been with.

He ran over and hugged me. "Bella loves me. I'm going to be a daddy. I've never been so happy." He smiled brilliantly. It made him look years younger.

Suddenly, his face fell and the desolation returned. "She's never going to forgive me. I said the vilest things to her. I don't deserve her or our baby. She's going to go away and never speak to me again."

He started sobbing again. Carlisle patted him on the back. My sonwas squeezing me so tight that I could barely breathe.

"Edward, I promise to help you get a chance to talk to Bella but I'm not sure how she'll respond. Carlisle and I are both here for you no matter what. Regrettably, I'm going to have to tell Bella what I witnessed here tonight . I just wish you had of talked to me before you slept with those bimbos."

He raised his head and looked me in the eyes. "Mom, I swear to you that nothing happened. I didn't have sex with those women. I couldn't do it. I love Bella too much."

Thank God--that was a weight lifted off my shoulders. Alec told us that he was going to head out. Edward apologized and they agreed to talk at a later date. Carlisle and I gave Edward a few minutes to shower and change.

"You have to try and apologize tonight, Edward. If you let this situation sit and fester it's only going to get worse."

He nodded his head and walked over to kiss me on the cheek. I tried to hold my tears back as he and Carlisle embraced. My son was back. My world would be right again. I may have failed Edward growing up but I wasn't going to fail him now. My grandchild would have two parents that loved and cared for it, and, if I was lucky, I could restore Bella and Edward's relationship.

He went to go get his stuff. When he came back out he was whistling and smiling again.

"My babydoll is going to have my baby. She's pregnant with our child. I'm going to be a father. I'm going to be there for every second of my her pregnancy and our child's life. I love her so much."

His enthusiasm made me smile, but soon, I watched as his expression slowy turned to panic.

He turned around, his eyes wide. "Carlisle, was she okay? Was she scared? What about the baby?"

His dad smiled tightly. "Calm down Edward, she's fine and so is the baby. Everything is developing normally. Bella is in good health and I see no reason to panic. If all goes according to plan, she's going to deliver a perfectly healthy child."

My son's eyes lit up. I giggled because he puffed out his chest; he was proud. I walked over to the table to retrieve my purse. I took out my current most prized possession and handed it to Edward. He opened the envelope. Tears began streaming down his face and soaking his shirt. I clutched his hand.

"Edward Cullen, I'd like you to meet your baby."

My heart swelled with love as I watched him kiss the blurry sonogram and whisper, "I love you. I'm going to make everything right with mommy."

Maybe things weren't perfect yet, but I vowed to do my best to make them that way.


  1. aww.. so sweetward!

  2. Thank god he didn't do anything with he bimbos. I just hope Bella will own up to her part in this misunderstanding because of the way she started off with the Alec thing and not elaborating. God, I love seeing Edward so happy to be a daddy.

  3. ok you restored some of my faith and esme is kick ass!!!!! i love her!!! anyway he still said some bad shit and he always does and she forgives i don't think it is gong to be as easy as he thinks. i am glad he is happy and i am glad he didn't stick his dick into anyone else no matter how mad he was.... same it is almost 3:00 am i have to go to work soon... gotta go to bed!!

  4. Well good luck Assward to have Bella back, that will not be a piece of cream cake and you deserve run hard for being in her good grace after being such an idiot.

  5. He's going to have to explain the hickey... Good luck getting Bella to believe he didn't fuck those whores...