Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chapter 16: Wicked Game

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you.
No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you (This world is only gonna break your heart)
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you."

Wicked Game-Chris Isaak


Since the night Bella left me, I'd been a changed man. I gave up hard liquor, worked on my temper, and started working out. Unfortunately none of that shit helped me win back the love of my life. I was so fucking devastated after I read that letter. I had fucked up big time. My babydoll didn't love me anymore.

If it wasn't for my family, I'm not sure I would have made it these last few months. Caius came to stay with me a week after Bella left. He was sad that she was gone and made me promise to get her back. We tried to get over our broken hearts by doing man things like fishing and football. We had what my mom called 'testosterone weekends' with Em, Carlisle, and Jaz. They all had women to go back home to, but Cai and I didn't. I missed my babydoll every goddamn night, and not just for the sex; I missed just laughing and talking with her.

The story of our breakup had spread through the club like wildfire. Bitches were all over my ass even more than usual. When I ventured outside of my office, I was practically raped by Jess and Victoria. They definitely didn't know the meaning of the words 'fuck off.' I hadn't hired a new secretary because no one would live up to my babydoll. Alice had taken pity on my pathetic ass and taken over. She kept the skanks away from my office and for that I was grateful.

Of course I hadn't let Bella go without a fight. She'd run to her hometown and I followed her. When I saw her at Jacob's house, I wanted to kill him. Thankfully, his girlfriend had come outside and made her presence known. Bella didn't want to talk to me, and it had taken half of Forks PD to get my ass off of Officer Black's property. I had declared my undying love for her, but she left me anyway.

Of all the fucking cities in Washington, Bella chose to relocate to Spokane. I hate that fucking city. It's no Seattle by any means. It's full of pretentious over-read arrogant assholes. I could just see some fucker in a tweed dress jacket hitting on my girl in the library. The thought made me fucking nauseous.

I still employed a personal guard to look out for Bella. So far she'd managed not to get herself into any trouble, but I worried about her every goddamn day. Through my spies, I learned that she lived in a studio, edited a local magazine, and had a few new friends. Some fucker at her job kept asking her out. I was going to send Dee to threaten him this weekend. That shit wouldn't be going on much longer.

Bella is MINE. No other man is going to touch her.

In the beginning, I thought Bella was just trying to teach me a lesson and that she would come back soon. When the rest of September went by and she still hadn't come home, I started to panic. We didn't have any contact with each other. I began to lose hope.

Alice had been my cheerleader. She kept me up to date on Bella's life and cheered me on in my efforts to get her to return. She and Jaz were lucky. They got to talk to my babydoll every fucking night. I would have tried to call her but I knew she would have just hung up. Hell, she didn't even answer my fucking emails.

Work kept me busy when I wasn't thinking of Bella. The vineyard was being expanded and Marcus wanted me to take a greater stake in the business. Since Jaz would be joining my family, I convinced my godfathers to let him in on some of the investments. The fucker missed Bella almost as much as I did. He was always mentioning his little sis and worrying about her.

The Russians were still going ape shit over Stephan's death. We heard that James made an alliance with one of the Jamaican families. This was bad news because it meant his Organization was becoming more powerful. The last thing we needed was the Russians making a play for the Volturi territory.

In October, I'd gone to Esme's for family dinner. My mom was so happy that she formulated a plan. She and Di talked for hours about how they could get Bella to come back to me. At first I thought it was a lost cause but their enthusiasm grew on me. They both agreed that I should go for grand gestures, so that's what I did.

I started sending Bella personal gifts that represented our time together. I sent everything from flowers to that chocolate sauce I ate off of her that night in my lair. When I closed my eyes I could still see her pretty pink nipples and her swollen... Focus Cullen. Lately, I had a lot of wet dreams. My dick was constantly in pain. All I wanted was my babydoll back. I stopped spending the night in the lair because every fucking thing reminded me of her. Her scent was everywhere.

The only good thing that came from our separation was that it allowed me to see my faults. There were so goddamn many, though. I flew off the handle, I was too possessive, and I cursed way too much, just to name a few. Thankfully, Dr. Uley took me on as a patient full time. So every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, I sat in his office and tried to make myself into a better man; someone that was worthy of my babydoll. I loved her with everything in my heart. If she needed me to change, I'd gladly comply.

I was such an emo bitch without Bella. Some nights, I'd lay and cry because I couldn't get to sleep without her in my arms. I deleted all the upbeat songs off of my iTunes and replaced it with every sad fucking pathetic song I could find. There were many days that I wanted to use drugs or get piss ass drunk. I refrained because I knew that would have only set me back from O.G.B.B or 'Operation Get Babydoll Back' as I'd dubbed it. Yeah, I was still pussy whipped.

For Halloween, we'd had a costume party at the club. I knew that Jaz invited Bella but she declined because she didn't want to see me. It hurt but I pushed it aside. I'd sent her pictures of me in costume though. I hoped that it made her smile. From what my spies were telling me, my babydoll didn't seem too happy being in Spokane. I thought that maybe she missed me too.

I still had her engagement ring. I was thinking of a special way to propose to her, but I knew I wasn't strong enough yet to face a denial. I loved Bella too fucking much to picture a life without her in it.

I'd handwritten a letter pouring my heart out to her, and she didn't even fucking call me. I was upset. She also returned two of the gifts I sent her. My temper got the best of me and I went off in all caps. I apologized by email two hours later, but she ignored my ass.

The best present that I'd sent her was the replica doll. It had been designed by a French artist that was a school friend of Alice's. I'd had the exact same one made, and it sat in a glass case on my dresser in my penthouse bedroom. Every time I had a particularly hard day, I would look at it and smile. It didn't do justice to the real Bella, but it was damn close.

Last week Jasper had marched into my office, gotten down on his knee, and proposed to my little sister. She was so fucking happy. Jaz looked nervous as hell, even though Ali had picked out her own ring. I wondered if he knew that he wouldn't get to make a major decision for the rest of his life. I love Alice, but she's bossy as shit.

I'd taken them out to celebrate, but I could tell they weren't really happy because too many people were missing. Alice had gotten the brilliant idea to have a formal announcement dinner three days before Thanksgiving. Of course Jasper was all for that. I was ecstatic when she told me she'd invited Bella and that Bella said yes. I spent the rest of the day on cloud fucking nine. My babydoll was coming home.

My mom asked if I wanted to stay at her and Dr. Cullen's house Thanksgiving week. The rest of the family would be there and she wanted me to come. I was going to weasel my way out of it until she said the words that could make me go to fucking Antarctica with swim trunks on: Bella would be there. A full week under the same room as my babydoll; hell yeah I was in.

I wanted to go with Jasper to pick Bella up, but he didn't think that would be a good idea, so I'd stayed behind. I counted the hours until she would be there in person.

A few week prior to that, I had started working out with Emmett. I did it to relieve stress and tone my muscles. I wasn't fat before, but now I had some nice definition on my pecs and abs. My babydoll always had a fondness for my chest, and I was not above using my body to win her over. I had Alice buy me a new wardrobe that would show off my muscles to perfection.

Unfortunately I was still at work when Bella got in. Chanel was having problems out of Jess and Heidi fighting all the damn time. They both liked some lame ass actor that frequented the club and were having public catfights. I didn't care what the hell they did in private, but when customers were in danger of being hurt, the shit had to stop. We'd settled the problem by promoting Heidi to Chanel's assistant and Jess to lead stripper. The girl was as dumb as a box of rocks, but she performed a damn good lap dance. She had nothing on my babydoll, but then again, no one did. The minute that shit and the new gun shipment were settled, I was on my way to Carlisle and Esme's.

When my mom told me Bella was upstairs sleeping, I sprinted up to her room. Seeing Bella in the flesh had buckled my knees. I had millions of pictures of her but they never did her justice. She was fucking amazing. I laid down and watched the rise and fall of her breasts. I had to clamp my hands together to fight the urge to touch her. She was lying on her back and the covers had ridden down to her calves. Sadly, she wasn't mumbling my favorite words. Looking at her creamy thighs made my dick throb, so I covered her up and sat at the end of the bed. It was hard to distance myself from her side while she slept. My control was slipping.

The moment Bella woke up I tried to get closer. She'd backed away and asked me to leave. I felt that familiar pain in my chest. All my improvements meant nothing if she wouldn't be mine again. I'd tried to kiss her, and she acted like I was a frog. We had a colossal argument. The hateful words she spewed at me only made me angry. I ended up saying things I didn't mean. She threw all my past faults back at me and that hurt. I'd told her that I wished we never met. Of course that was a fucking lie. Her reply of, 'Me too,' stabbed the stake through my cold heart. She didn't love me anymore. No matter what I did, she was never going to be mine.

In a funk, I went to get dressed and shower. It didn't take long before I was done. Alice had chosen some purple blue vest for me to wear. I started to protest and thought better of it. The pixie was truly a princess in this house. You either wore what she wanted you to wear or got out. I felt like drinking after that. In a past session Dr. Uley told me that every time I felt like drinking to resist the urge, and put the passion into something else, so I'd played the piano. Every time I felt like drinking, I resisted the urge and channeled my passion into playing the piano.

When I finished, I heard the sweet voice of my angel. She was a sight to behold. Her dress color matched my vest. Bella had been nice, complimenting me on my playing. That praise went straight to my dick and I had to repress a moan. I could barely look at a piano without seeing her all spread out and wet for me--that had been the hottest sex of my life. All of our lovemaking had been my personal best. Bella stoked a fire in me that would never be contained. It was too bad that I was left to burn alone.

I'd grabbed her hand and she let me. She even rode with me in the car. I kept up conversation while trying to block the image of Jaz mauling my baby sister out of my head. I prayed that I would get a chance to pay him back. Bella was distant the whole drive. She kept staring out the window with a thoughtful look on her face. At one point, she sucked her lip into her mouth. I barely managed to keep the car on the road--it was bad enough that the whole car smelled like strawberries, and she had those shiny curls lying on her shoulder. I wanted to lick every inch of her creamy skin.

Overall, Bella still looked pretty much the same, except that she'd gained a few pounds. I'd say four or five at the most. No one else would probably notice, but I knew her body like the back of my hand. I was in no way complaining, though, because the weight had been distributed to her lush hips and ass. I wanted to bend her over and pound her until we both passed out. Luckil,y we managed to make it to the restaurant without me fucking Bella in the front seat.

The dinner at Sky City was wonderful. Alice was so fucking happy. I'd been worried about her after the whole eating disorder scare, but I could tell she was in a better place now. She ate, laughed, and joked like the old Ali. Jasper brought that sparkle back in her eyes, and for that I was thankful. Mom was crying so much that she had soaked through two handkerchiefs before the appetizers came. I found myself wondering if she would cry for Bella and me like that. Would I even get the chance to propose? Probably not, if today was any evidence.

I paid close attention to Bella while we ate. She was putting food in her mouth like it was her last meal. I'd learned all about bulimia and stress eating when Ali went through rehab. To me Bella was showing the classic signs of having an eating disorder. I planned to confront her when dinner was over. She'd gotten sick halfway through the meal, and my mom took her to the restroom. I wanted to follow them, but Carlisle told me to let Esme handle it. I acquiesced because I didn't want to upset my babydoll.

After what seemed like forever, Bella returned with my mom. Both of them were tight lipped and quiet. My babydoll's breath smelled strongly of mint, like she was covering up vomit. The thought of her hurting herself made me angry. She was stronger than that. And why the hell hadn't my mom stopped her? I spent the rest of the dinner picking at my food and brooding. I kept sneaking glances at her, but she seemed to be all right. Unfortunately, she kept engorging herself with food until I was sure she'd pass out.

I put my hand under the table and began rubbing circles around her knee. She jumped and pulled her leg away.

"Babydoll, you know you can talk to me. Is there something going on with you? Are you not feeling well?"

Her eyes widened. She looked scared. What the hell put that fear in her eyes? "For the millionth time, I'm fine. Eat your dinner and stop worrying about me."

She turned away and struck up a conversation with Alice. My fucking appetite was completely diminished. I noticed that my mom kept sneaking curious glances at Bella. She looked like she was waiting to pounce. I hated secrets. Something was going on and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

Eventually dinner ended. I watched in awe as Bella cleared two sample dessert plates without batting an eye. She had to go to the restroom again after that. I was going to protest until Rosie and Ali volunteered to join her. I trusted them not to let her harm herself. Besides, Ali was my confidant in O.G.B.B; she'd tell me if something was seriously wrong.

They returned several minutes later looking happy and refreshed. I kissed Bella's cheek when she sat back down. Of course she fucking blushed. Damn, I'd missed that shit. If there was something wrong with Bella, I was going to stand beside her. I didn't care what obstacles she threw in my way. I wasn't leaving.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my babydoll grab another cream puff. She had to be fucking stuffed. I interjected. "Bella, sweetheart, maybe you shouldn't eat anymore. I think you've had enough. You might get sick."

Carlisle was across the table and heard what I said. He lowered his head and sighed. What the fuck was that about?

Before I could decipher what that defeated look meant, my tigress went off on me.

"Are you calling me fat, Edward?! The food here just happens to be really good, so I'm enjoying it. Is that a crime? If you don't want to see me eat, then avert your eyes. I'm not a child and you're not my father, so leave me the hell alone!"

Everyone at the table stopped to look at Bella. She rarely raised her voice in the company of others. My mom and the rest of the women were sending me death glares.

Jasper stood up. "Cullen, outside now!" He turned around to leave. I tried to apologize to Bella before leaving, but she turned away. There were tears in her beautiful chocolate eyes. I felt like a total dick. Carlisle and Em exited with us. The women stayed behind to comfort Bella.

We got as far as the outside lobby before Jasper went off on me. "Edward, you fucker! You have a lot of nerve upsetting my baby sister. You claim to want her back, but you're still making her cry."

I looked down at my shoes. I felt bad enough. I didn't need his shit.

Carlisle was eyeing us warily. "Listen boys, this is Alice's engagement dinner party. It would be a shame to ruin it with fighting and name calling. Edward, you were wrong. Never tell a woman what to do, son, especially when it comes to eating habits. You're only asking for trouble. I know your intention wasn't to upset Bella, but you did. Try to apologize."

Somehow Emmett had managed to bring his dessert plate into the lobby. He stopped eating long enough to add his two cents.

"Yeah, Edward, that was a dick move, my man. Bella's vulnerable right now. Seeing you after all of these months has to be hard on her. It's possible she's eating more to cope with the stress. Don't aggravate her about it because that will only make it worse. Let her come to you if she feels she has a problem. Try just being there for her in case she wants to talk."

They all made a lot of sense. The last thing I needed was for my babydoll to hate me. "Thanks guys. It's just really fucking hard for me. I've never been in a relationship. I don't know the rules, and it's fucking scary. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells, afraid that she'll hate me more than she already does."

Dr. Cullen patted me on the back. "Welcome to the club, Edward. It only gets more confusing and scary from here on out. Women are different from us, not only in the biological sense, but in the way they think. I've been married to your mom for a decade, and even I still mess up."

His admission made me feel better. I fist bumped Jaz, letting him know that we were cool. He accepted. We talked for a few more minutes before making our way back to the dining area. There was a table full of attractive women in the corner. They hooted and cat called as we passed.

"We're all taken, and our girls won't be too happy if they hear you," Em said. The women pouted, causing us men to laugh quietly.

When I got to the table, I noticed that my mom was sitting beside Bella. Her eyes were dry but she still looked angry. I took Esme's old seat next to Carlisle. My babydoll avoided eye contact with me. My mom smiled at both Carlisle and me before continuing to rub Bella's shoulders. That should have been my job and, once again, I'd failed.

After dessert, the Chef came to wish us goodbye. He gave Jaz and Ali a bottle of the house wine as a gift. Everyone wanted to go out dancing after dinner. Plans were made to go to HADES. I wasn't in the mood to spend hours in a loud club. I needed to talk to Bella. I was about to refuse when I heard her small voice pipe up.

"You guys go on without me. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll just go home." Jasper and Alice asked her if she was okay, and she nodded.

My mom and Dr. Cullen volunteered to take her, but I cut them off. "No. You guys go ahead. You should enjoy the rest of the night. I'll take Bella home."

Bella tried to protest, but she didn't succeed. It was decided that Jaz and Alice would ride with the rest of them in the SUV. There was plenty of room. The valet brought Carlisle's car first. We all said our goodbyes. I put my hand on the small of Bella's back as we waited for the Phantom.

She stepped away from me. "Don't touch me, Edward."

I gritted my teeth and pulled away. I was getting sick of her making me feel like a diseased miscreant. Thankfully, the valet brought my baby back to me unscathed. I helped Bella into the car before tipping him and getting in the driver's seat. We made our way out of the restaurant and on the road. The heavy silence in the car was driving me bat shit.

"I just want you to know that I'm really sorry, Bella. I wasn't trying to be rude to you in the restaurant. You're perfect. Please forgive me."

My babydoll gave a bitter little laugh. I didn't like that fucking sound at all.

"You're always sorry, Edward. Just save your damn apologies for someone who cares. We both know you don't think I'm perfect. Remember my tiny breasts and huge hips and ass? Stop trying to patronize me with lies."

I squeezed the steering wheel so hard that I was surprised it didn't break into a million fucking pieces. I was tired of Bella throwing the shit I'd said in Italy in my face, I was tired of apologizing, but most of all I was tired of the animosity that had formed between the two of us. I looked over at Bella. She was staring out the window again. I sighed and turned on some music, hoping that it would help me keep my sanity. "Nothing Better" by The Postal Service blared from the speakers. I absentmindedly started singing along:

"Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
And I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And I swear I'll do my best to comply
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together."

Bella surprised me by singing the next line:

"I feel I must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
So please back away and let me go."

I stopped staring at her and continued:

"I can't my darling I love you so...
Oh, oh
Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together"

Bella's sweet voice took over:

"Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future

Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures."

I looked deep in her eyes before delivering the next lines:

"I know that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again."

She looked away and sang the words that broke my already shattered heart:

"You've got a lure I can't deny,
But you've had your chance, so say goodbye
Say goodbye."

Obviously my plan to alleviate the tension with music didn't work. After 'Edward and Bella: The Musical,' I decided not to try and engage her in conversation anymore. We made it to my mom's house in record time.

My babydoll bolted from the car the moment I put it in park. I locked the doors before going inside. Our rooms were across the hall from one another. I had kissed my mom when I found out. I casually stood in Bella's doorway watching her pace. She was mumbling unintelligible things. I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that something was seriously wrong. She stopped pacing when she noticed me staring at her.

She moved towards the door. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to sleep now." She tried to shut the door, but I wasn't budging.

"The least I can do is help you take off your dress. It doesn't look like you'll be able to reach the clasp."

I could tell she was about to protest, so I stepped behind her and put my hand on the zipper. I felt Bella tremble as my hand made contact with her skin. She was still as smooth as silk. My dick did a happy dance. I leaned down and kissed her neck as I undid the dress. I couldn't resist licking the sensitive skin. I heard Bella moan, and my pulse rate increased tenfold. I wanted her bad.

"Um...Edward...that's good enough. I can take it from here. Why don't you go get some rest?"

Rest? The last thing I wanted was to go to sleep without her in my arms. She was holding the dress to her chest to shield her breasts from me. I could see the lace of her dark blue bra and panties. My hand was on her lower back. A rush of desire ran through my blood.

My voice was labored and rough when I answered. "I'm not tired. Besides, you look a little tense. I could help you out with that."

Bella stepped out of my grasp. She turned around to look at me. Her eyes went to my crotch and she looked away. "There's nothing you can do for me, Cullen. Please go to your room so I can get some sleep."

I didn't need a repeat of our last fight, so I turned around and left. She gently closed the door after me. I stood in the hall stewing for a couple of minutes. None of this was going the way I'd planned. I was losing O.G.B.B. She had an artillery of weapons to use against me, and I was defenseless.

I went downstairs and poured myself a glass of brandy. I let the liquid burn down my throat. Alcohol wasn't going to improve my mood so I decided to head to bed.

I awoke hours later in a cold sweat. I'd dreamt about Bella marrying another fucker and leaving for good. I glanced over at the clock. It was after three in the morning. Since I hadn't eaten much at dinner, I decided to go downstairs to get a snack.

When I got there, I noticed that the kitchen lights were on. Standing in front of the counter was my babydoll. She was making a sandwich. She had on a pink t-shirt and plaid pajama shorts that clung to her shapely ass. Of course I popped a boner. I couldn't believe that she was still hungry after the spread she'd eaten today. I walked up behind her. She appeared to be in a daze and didn't acknowledge me.

I put one of my hands on her lower stomach and pulled her into me until her back touched my chest. "I love you, Bella. It's hard sleeping without you. I miss you."

She put down the package she'd been holding and tried to turn around, but I wouldn't let her.

"Edward..." That's all she got out before I ravaged her neck.

After my nightmare, I felt an extreme need to claim her as mine again. She whimpered and clutched the edge of the granite counter top. I took her earlobe in my mouth and sucked on it. The hand that was on her lower stomach traveled under her shirt to her bare breast. We both moaned.

"Please, babydoll," I begged before lowering my hand to her panties.

I silently prayed that she would let me continue. She had on the same underwear as before. I could feel the lace. My hand reached her hot pussy. I cupped it. A rush of moisture coated my fingers. She was so fucking wet for me. At least her body still desired me, even if her heart did not.

"Mmm, babydoll. Your tight pussy is so fucking wet. I want to make you come. Is that okay?"

She gave a weak nod--that was all the assurance I needed. I rubbed on her clit. She moaned again. I pushed my hand farther into her panties so that I could insert a finger in her sopping wet core. She bucked against me.

"Ooohh, Edward. That feels good. Don't stop."

Her words spurred me on. I applied more pressure to her clit and added a second finger. Her hips started to thrust against me. I added a third finger and she began riding my hand. I knew that she was close. I was still cupping and kneading her breast. I assaulted her neck again and pushed my fingers in deeper. I felt her walls clench a minute before she came. My whole hand was soaked with her sweet juices.

She was still panting when I turned her around to face me. I put my fingers in my mouth and sucked on them.

"Fuck, Bella. You taste even better than I remembered."

Her eyes lowered. She looked...embarrassed. We had performed some of the hottest sexual acts on each other, but I'd never seen her look that way. She pushed past me and ran upstairs.

What the fuck just happened?

Since all the food was still out, I made me a sandwich and finished making hers. I added chips and pickles to both our plates. I may not be able to cook, but even I couldn't fuck up a sandwich. I grabbed a bottle of sparkling grape juice and some cups and loaded it all onto a tray. Then I put everything away before going upstairs.

Bella's door was closed. I tried the handle but it was locked. "Bella, I have your snack out here. Let me in please."

I heard a muffled, "Go away."

I sighed. "Please, it's a really good sandwich. It'd be a shame for it to go to waste."

I was about to give up and go to my room when she opened the door. She held her hand out for her plate. "That's my girl. I was thinking that maybe we could eat together, and maybe watch some TV. Would that be all right?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, Edward."

I stared deep in her eyes. "Please, babydoll. I promise to keep my hands to myself."

She stepped aside and let me into the room. I put the tray down on a small table. Bella took her plate and sat on the bed. I poured her a glass of grape juice and set it by the nightstand.

"Thanks, Edward. You...you can sit on the bed if you want."

I smiled, took my plate, and sat down beside her. I grabbed the remote and flipped on the television. We started watching reruns of "Entourage." It felt good just to be in Bella's presence. She still wasn't talking that much, but she didn't have that bitter look on her face either. My life felt like a black hole sometimes, but every minute I spent with Bella was full of sunshine.

Everything was going fine until I glanced over at my babydoll. She was eating her gherkin. Her luscious lips wrapped around the green rind, taking it into her mouth as she bit down. My already pained cock strained against my pants. I coughed and put a pillow over my lap. I tried to watch the show and forget about Bella's pickle blowjob but it was too fucking hard. By the time she finished, I was gripping the sheets to try to maintain control. Luckily, she was too riveted with her food and the show to pay me any attention. I barely managed to finish my sandwich.

"Babydoll, I need to run to the restroom for a minute. I'll be right back."

She nodded and continued to eat. I ran across the hall to my bedroom. There was no fucking way I could stay in the room with her without busting a nut. I was already leaking. I grabbed the bottle of strawberry scented lotion I used to jerk off and laid down on the bed. I pushed my pajama pants and boxers off in one swoop. I gripped my cock and felt it jump in my hand.

"Fuck!" I screamed, hoping that Bella couldn't hear me. I thought of her pink lips wrapped around my cock, her head bobbing up and down on my lap.

Apparently in my haste to get off, I'd forgotten to close the door all the way.

"Edward, are you...oh, I'm sorry."

Fuck, caught in the act. She turned and ran back to her room. I was trying to put my clothes back on when she came back. She closed the door and walked over to me. One of my legs was in my boxers. Bella pulled the black silk down, exposing my dick again.

She licked her lips. "Let me. It's the least I can do."

I told her that she didn't have to reciprocate, but she insisted. I only made that comment to be a gentleman. I wanted my babydoll on my cock right then. She kneeled on the ground and leaned forward. Her lips opened as she took in my cock. It felt so fucking good, better than ever because it had been so long.

I watched as my earlier fantasy came to life. Bella licked the underside of my shaft. I moaned in ecstasy. She held onto my thighs while she bobbed her head up and down, gently sucking on the head. I was going to come any minute. It just felt too good. One of her hot little hands left my thigh to cup my balls. She took my cock out of her mouth and began sucking on my nuts as she stroked the shaft. My eyes rolled back into my head.

I reached down to play in her silken tresses. She was making the cutest little sounds as she licked and sucked me. She left my balls and put my cock back in her mouth. I felt myself hit the back of her throat. She gagged a little but didn't spit me out. I loosened my hold on her head. She pulled back so she could take a breath. Her cute tongue swirled around the head before she took me again. My hips were bucking hard against her face. She opened her eyes and looked straight up at me. That was it. I shot a massive amount of spunk down her throat. As usual, she swallowed every last drop. She licked me for a few minutes until my shuddering stopped. I'd just experienced the blowjob of a lifetime. I'd had professional bitches blow me, but my babydoll was hands down the best. She's a goddamn natural at that shit.

"That was so fucking good, babydoll. Thank you very much." I was just glad that the rooms in this house were soundproof. No one was on our floor, but I made so much noise I didn't doubt that they would have heard me otherwise.

She blushed and smiled at me. "I'm...glad you liked it. I love feeling you inside my mouth."

That was the hottest thing she could have said. I reached down and pulled her up on the bed. She pulled her shirt off before lying down on my chest. "It's a little hot in here, Edward. Mind if I sleep like this?"

Did I mind? If I had my fucking way, Bella would never wear a damn shirt or any other clothes for that matter. "Of course you can. You know I love your tits."

She gave me a tiny slap on the chest and then yawned. "I'm so tired. Can we just go to sleep now."

I kissed her on the forehead. "I love you. Your wish is my command."

She fell asleep five minutes later. I wasn't sure what had changed between Bella and me, but I wasn't going to question it. Her being in my arms again was heaven on Earth. I looked down at my angel. Her breasts were a little bigger. I reached over and pinched one of her nipples. I watched as it puckered. She snuggled deeper into my chest but didn't wake up.

God I love this woman. She is truly my soul mate.

I continued to stroke and play with Bella's naked torso. I knew that it was wrong of me to do this while she was sleeping, but I couldn't stop myself. She mumbled all types of shit in her sleep. I caught the words 'secret' and 'Alec.'

I pushed Bella off of me and sat up. I looked down at her. She was still sleeping deeply. Why the fuck would she be dreaming about Alec? I had a queasy feeling in my stomach. A thought festered at the base of my brain,so  I picked up my phone and left the room.

I called Alec and told him I needed for him to spend the night tomorrow. He could stay in one of the guesthouse cottages, as Carlisle and Esme had four. It took every bit of strength I had not to threaten him over the phone.

Next, I called Bella's personal bodyguard. I chose a female guard because I didn't like the idea of some fucker peeping at my babydoll.

"Jane, are you still up?"

A sleepy voice greeted me on the other end. "Cullen, it's five in the morning. You better have a good excuse for waking me."

"You're on my payroll, Jane. I own your ass twenty-four-seven."

She huffed.

"Has Bella had any visitors at her apartment lately, specifically any males?"

I heard the bed groan as Jane sat up. "You know she never has any one over." She seemed to think for a minute. "Well, there was your bodyguard, Alec, or whatever his name is. He was over the night before she left. He stayed for around an hour and a half and they ate takeout. Then, she walked him to the door and he...kissed her on the head."

My blood was boiling. That fucker touched my babydoll. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me that?!"

"Lower your voice, man. I thought you sent him. I know that he's your bodyguard, so I figured..."

I hung up before she finished. That motherfucker! How had they even gotten together? Was it love at first sight? Had they both been playing me the whole time?

I punched my fist into the wall. It hurt like a son of a bitch but I didn't care. I had to get out of the house before I did some major damage. I grabbed my keys, went outside, and hopped into my Phantom. I drove to my Penthouse, seething with barely controlled anger. I got onto my private elevator and went to my apartment. When I got inside I ran to the bathroom and retched until I was fucking empty.

Bella had lied to me. No wonder she left, she didn't want to be caught fucking my bodyguard. Had she used her mouth to pleasure him the day before coming? The thought made me sick, and I dry heaved over the sink.,

I was such a fucking idiot, believing in that love shit. I should have learned my fucking lesson after Gigi, but no, I believed that Bella was different. Now I find out that she's just another bitch itching to get laid. She had fucking promised me in her letter that there would never be another. I bet she and Alec had a great time laughing over that. I had even been a great boss and given him time off so he could heal because I felt guilty that he got shot in Italy.

He'd healed all right. An image of Bella riding his cock popped into my head. I pulled my hair and slammed my head against the wall. Was he better than me? I was sure she had fucked his brains out. No wonder he seemed so concerned in Italy. He wanted to know how his woman was doing.

I took out a bottle of whiskey and drank until the bottle was half empty. Fuck the wagon. I was going to go back to being the old Edward Cullen, the one who lived life to the fullest and didn't give a fuck. I tried to be 'normal' but that shit didn't work. Alec and Bella had made a fool of me. I soon passed out.

When I awoke, it was raining. I picked up my phone and saw several missed messages from Bella. She wanted to know where I was and why I'd left. I didn't answer. She didn't deserve a response. All the time she'd been away, I had wanted her to call or text me. Of course she had been too busy fucking Alec to care about my feelings. I ate some dry toast and coffee to sober up before heading back to my mom's house.

By the time I got there, Bella was gone. She, my mom, and Dr. Cullen had gone shopping. I avoided everyone before going upstairs. I went to Bella's rooms and pawed though her bags, looking for evidence. There was nothing out of the ordinary. I got a text from Alec saying that he would be here in thirty minutes. I went out to my car to wait. I palmed my gun. I was going to kill that asshole. He knew Bella was mine, and he'd fucked her anyway.

Alec showed up half an hour later. I hid my Phantom and followed him to the guest house. He was unpacking. I was just about to confront the bastard when I heard a car pull up. I hid in the deep shrubbery surrounding the guest house.

I saw Bella get out of Carlisle's car. Alec came out and went to give my mother a handshake. I watched as he chatted with her and Dr. Cullen for a few minutes before they left. Bella stayed behind. I clenched my fists. He whispered something to her. She nodded and followed him into the guest house. I went around to the back.

There were no open windows, so I couldn't hear what they were saying. Bella was gesturing wildly and Alec looked to be trying to calm her down. Maybe she was coming clean about the blow job she'd given me earlier. He said something to her that made her cry. I pulled out my gun. Maybe I wouldn't kill him, but I'd definitely shoot out a knee cap or toe.

After that, everything happened in slow motion. Alec grabbed Bella and pulled her into his arms. She didn't fight him. Instead, she leaned forward until her head rested on his chest. His piercing blue eyes looked concerned. He wrapped his arms around her. I'd seen enough. There was no way I was going to stand there and watch them fuck each other.

I put my gun away and ran to my Rolls. Tears were marring my vision as I drove. It was really over. She'd chosen a fucking bodyguard over me. His job was just as dangerous as mine, but she didn't fucking care.

I wiped my eyes. Edward Cullen doesn't cry like a pussy. She'd made me into something I wasn't.

I pulled out my phone and called a familiar number. The girl I was looking for picked up. "Hey, Heidi, I want you to grab two girls and meet me at the Fairmount Olympic Hotel. Prepare to stay the whole night because we're having an orgy. Make sure they're dressed appropriately."

She fucking purred. "Ooohh, Eddie, I knew you'd get over that little bitch and want some real pussy. We'll be there in an hour."

If Bella could fuck other people, so could I. I had been such a fool, begging her ass for pussy when I could get it from someone else. I was going to fuck those bitches until Bella became a distant memory. Maybe I'd even tape it and give it to her. I went back to my Penthouse to shower and change. I grabbed a bottle of Viagra along with a case of Red Bull and bottle of Stolichnaya. I wanted to have a lot of stamina for tonight. I had three more missed calls from Bella. I changed her contact name from 'babydoll' to 'LB or lying bitch' because that's all she was to me now.

I called my friend at the Fairmount and booked a suite. They were filled for the holidays, but I payed in cash and tipped well, so they always made an exception for me. I tried to do something with my hair but it wouldn't comply so I just ran my fingers through it. The bitches would mess it up anyway. I hoped that Heidi chose the new big titted blondes to bring. I hadn't fucked them yet because I was still pining over Bella the slut. I looked good, like the old Edward. My father would have been so fucking proud.

Later, I pulled up to the hotel and parked my car in the garage. The key was waiting for me at the front desk. I gave the bellhop instructions to lead my guests up when they came. Thirty minutes later I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to find Heidi and the two bitches I'd hoped she would bring.

"Hi, Eddie. Me, Diamond and Goldie are here to fuck you senseless."

They were all wearing sexy barely there dresses and heels. D&G both had huge fake tits. They were bottle blondes and looked like they'd just stepped off of the cover of Playboy. My dick didn't even harden. Fuck Bella for ruining me for other bitches.

"Come in, ladies." They all stroked my cock as they passed. Still nothing. Heidi had a huge bag of toys and shit that she began taking out while D and G were busy exploring the room. They squealed like little girls when they saw the hot tub.

"Diamond, Goldie, why don't you two play with each other while I watch."

They nodded and headed into the bedroom. Heidi wrapped her arms around me and we followed. They wasted no time in going at it. They were sucking and licking each other's clits before I sat down. Sadly, it wasn't turning me on.

Heidi sat in my lap and tried to kiss my lips. I pushed the back of her head down to my neck. I didn't kiss bitches in the mouth before Bella, and I wasn't going back to it now. She sucked and bit on my neck. I was sure that it would leave marks. Her hand went inside my pants. I hissed when her fake nails scratched my cock.

"Fuck, Heidi. I need a minute." She kissed my neck before letting me up.

I went to the bathroom to pop some Viagra. Before I got the pill in my mouth I noticed a missed call on my phone. It was from my mom. She rarely ever called me. Maybe something was wrong. I hit reply.

"Mom, are you okay? I'm sorry I missed your call."

"Hello, Edward, it's Bella. Why have you been avoiding me all day? I really need to talk to you about something important. Can you please come home?"

Maybe she was going to come clean. I decided that my orgy could wait. "I'll be there in half an hour." She was trying to say something else but I hung up. I put the V away and went back to the front.

"Heidi, I have an errand to run. You guys can order room service, just charge it to the room. I looked over at D and G lapping each other in the mouth. "Feel free to join them if you want. I'll be back later."

She pouted. "I'll miss you, Eddie. I've been craving your cock. Hurry back, baby."

I gave her a half smile before exiting.

Traffic was pretty bad so the drive over took longer than expected. Thanksgiving was two days away, and the city was packed. Somehow, I managed to make it to my mom's house without killing anyone.

When I got inside, everyone was in the living room playing games and eating. My mom looked at me as I passed. She looked extremely happy about something. I stopped to ask where Bella was. She told me that Bella was out on the back deck. I kissed Esme on the cheek before heading outside. It had stopped raining, but there was still a chill in the air.

The lying bitch was sitting out there reading a book. She had on dark blue tights and an over sized beige sweater. Her mahogany hair was cascading down her back, and I could see the light flush on her cheeks. My cock stirred--Great, watching two hot bitches engage in hardcore porn couldn't get me hard, but Bella reading can--I was so fucked up.

I cleared my throat to alert her of my presence. "I'm busy, so say what you need to say so I can get the fuck out of here."

She turned around. Her eyes widened when she noticed my wrinkled suit and angry eyes. She asked me to have a seat. I took the chair across from her.

"Um...what I have to tell you may be hard for you to hear but you need to know. I will understand if it makes you angry. I just want you to know that I didn't plan it."

So, she was finally going to come clean. This ought to be good.

"Um...I don't know how to tell you this. Edward, I'm... pregnant."

I had to be hearing things. "What?!"

"I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby," she repeated.

I stood up and threw my chair over the deck. Bella started crying. I was so fucking angry. She was on birth control when we were together, but she'd let Alec hit it without any type of protection. She must have really trusted that son of a bitch. Bella was pregnant. Nothing made any goddamn sense anymore. After this bombshell, I didn't trust anyone to remain loyal. Ironically, this shocked me even more than the Gigi incident.

"Edward, please talk to me. I knew you'd be mad, but your mom and Dr. Cullen said it'd be best to go ahead and tell you before I got too far along."

I turned around. "My mom knew about this?! It's all just been a big secret and lies fest for you guys. Am I the last to know?"

She shook her head. "No. Besides you, only Carlisle and Esme know. Dr. Cullen gave me the test and my first checkup."

She started to pace back and forth, biting her lower lip and shooting glances in my direction. Damn.

"You really fucked me over, Isabella. I guess I never knew you at all. Was it all a set up from the start? Were you out for money?"

She walked over and punched me in the jaw. I balled my fists up and stepped away. I was angry, but I had a rule about never hitting women, even lying conniving bitches like Isabella Swan.

She poked me in the chest. "I never asked you for a damn thing. You think I care about your money, well I don't! I'm not a gold digger."

I pushed her hand away. "I know about you and Alec. I saw you two in the pool house. Did you really think you could hide it from me?" Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened. That was all the confirmation I needed.

"It wasn't... I didn't know... He wanted me to wait and tell you."

I bet they had a good laugh watching me play the fool, begging Bella to take me back. Has she been fucking both of us at the same time? The thought filled me with disgust.

"You're nothing but a nasty whore. I can't stand the sight of you." She sobbed loudly.

I started to soften and for that I was angry. "Don't cry now. You did this to yourself. I hope you rot in Hell, Isabella!"

I turned to walk away, but she grabbed my arm. I snatched it away. "You may hate me, but don't you care about the baby?"

Is she serious? Why the fuck would I care about she and Alec's spawn?

I smirked. "Why the fuck would I care about your baby? You don't honestly expect me to take care of it, do you? Congrats, Swan, you're finally getting the shitmaker you've always wanted. I hope you enjoy becoming a gross, fat beached whale. Good luck getting someone to fuck you when your pussy gets too loose."

She was crying so hard that she had to clutch her chest. I wanted her to hurt as much as I did. I'd planned on marrying this woman. I'd loved her with all my heart, and she stabbed me in the back by having an affair. To me, her betrayal was worse than Gianna's.

I turned away in disgust and walked to the door. "Let me know when the little bastard is born. I'll send you some diapers." With that parting shot, I left.

My mom ran after me but I shrugged her off and got into the car. Bella cheated on me and was now having another man's baby. There was nothing my mom could say to make it better. I felt wetness soaking my dress shirt.

Fuck, I'm crying over Isabella again.

I wiped my face and headed back to the Hotel. There were three bitches waiting for me to fuck them into oblivion. Bella wasn't mine anymore. I might as well enjoy my orgy and get back to being the old Edward Cullen.


  1. Woman, you are killing me with the angst here. All of the miscommunication is about to kill me. Bella assuming he knows the truth about Alec is the biggest mistake she's made. I wonder what she's going to to do when she realizes he thinks she's been screwing Alec and not the truth.

    The last thing I want is for Edward to go have that orgy. He's worked so hard to be a better person and even if he's not with Bella I want him to be that better person.

  2. damn i just don't know where to turn.. i really thought you changed ed now he is acting the same way and i don't blame bells if she ever forgives him!!! damn i need to go to sleep and now i have to read more.. please don't let him do this it would kill my faith in him i still cheerlead for him but if he does this i will not forgive.. and that shit he told her... f!!! what an asshole you are really making it hard to keep the faith in him.

  3. Edward is a total asshole, he even don't want to hear anything of Bella. It torns my heart to read this chapter.

  4. Ugh... I can't even say anything else... Just UGH!!!