Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chapter 14: This Woman's Work

"Pray God you can cope
I stand outside
This woman's work
This woman's world
Ohhh it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father
I know you've got a little life in you left
I know you've got a lotta strength left
I know you've got a little life in you left
I know you've got a lotta strength left
I should be cryin' but I just can't let it show
I should be hopin' but I can't stop thinkin'
All the things we should've said that are never said
All the things we should've done that we never did
All the things we should've given, but I didn't
Oh darlin', make it go
Make it go away."

This Woman's Work--Maxwell


"Bella!" My voice was cracked from screaming her name so many times. She had passed out in the hallway and the doctor was in with her now. I checked her for wounds and blood, but I didn't see anything to indicate she was physically hurt.

Before the doctor took her in, she looked so tiny and broken. I had been a fucking idiot. I should have told her every minute of every day how much I loved her. If something happened, I wouldn't be able to go on. She was my one true reason for living. Without her, I was nothing.

Thankfully the Chianti Villa had a full service clinic housed in an outer building. Being in the Mafia meant we couldn't always go to a regular hospital because that would alert the authorities. Plus, we had lots of workers, and it was not uncommon for someone to have a heart attack or go into labor in the fields.
I was just happy that my babydoll was being taken care of by one of our best doctors. He assured me that she would be okay. I wanted to believe him, but until I saw her with my own eyes I would not be resting easy.

She would always be my number one priority. I was still trying to wrap my head around what the fuck happened in that hallway. I had been in Marcus' office talking to him about Volturi business.

I'd still had a smile on my face from the bathtub sex I'd had with Bella. I clutched my chest at the memory. She had been so beautiful all covered with bubbles. We were having a discussion about that skimpy ass shit she'd worn in the fields. When I'd seen her from afar, it had taken the foreman and five more men to hold me back. My own godmother, Di, had ordered them to keep me away because she felt that I needed to learn a lesson in how to treat Bella. I had been fucking pissed about that shit, but Di's plan worked. When Bella came in, I was all over her. Just being without her for ten hours could completely kill me.

She had to be okay. I needed her like I need oxygen. I knew I don't deserve her, but she loved me as much as I loved her. Seeing her in that hallway with a dead Gianna and unconscious Caius almost stopped my heart and showed me how important true love really was to me.

Marcus was downstairs trying to figure out what happened between those two. Cai had been so happy to meet and fall in love with Gigi, and now it was all over. The only reason he was still alive was because we found the vial still clutched in Gianna's hand. The doctor had taken him to the clinic and pumped his stomach until it was empty. He was expected to recover. Luckily, he didn't ingest much of the poison. I was just glad my godfather was going to be okay. After losing my father, I didn't want to go through the pain of watching one of my surrogate dads die.

"Fuck!" I yelled to no one in particular.

I felt fucking useless. My babydoll was in a fucking hospital room, and I was being a pussy. They had kicked me out of the clinic when I threw a chair through one of the windows. I knew my temper was fucking horrible, but I didn't give a shit. She was hurt and I couldn't help her.

Soon, I was returned to my office, where they locked me in until Marcus could gather some news. It was the worst place for me to be because everywhere I turned I saw something to remind me of my babydoll.

I thought about shooting one of my toes off in penance for the shit I'd said to her. I was trying to make her leave me, and the vilest shit had come into my head. I thought I could make her hate me, hate the monster I was deep inside.

In the car, I'd yelled at her and thrown her out. I spent the rest of the ride cursing and in hysterics. The bodyguards that I rode with had made me give up my gun, fearing for my sanity. I really was fucking insane, so I'd given it to them.

After watching Bella beg my pathetic ass not to leave her, I had wanted to fucking die. She saved not only my life but also Alec's. She said she wasn't a heroine, but she was and so much more. She was fucking selfless. Many other people would have thought of themselves and gotten the fuck out of there, but not my babydoll. She fucking stayed because she loved me.

And then, like a jackass, I had gone and treated her like the lowest piece of shit on the planet. She shouldn't have forgiven me for that shit. I had basically called her ugly and worthless. The things I said about her body had made bile rise in my throat. I was saying them, but my heart was elsewhere.

I had to smoke a joint before I'd even been able to come into the house. Seeing her at the table with my godfathers had been surreal. She looked like she belonged, and she'd already charmed them. I had been a complete and utter dick to her and yet she fought for me. I gave up on our love and she didn't. I was never going to forget her sacrifice. I couldn't begin to fathom how she must have felt listening to me demean her.
I had even flirted with that whore who worked as a secretary for the vineyard. I tried to make my babydoll think that bitch was better, just to get her to leave me. She hadn't even batted an eye, telling me that I was hers and she wasn't sharing.

The sparring in the office had been the worst day of my life. When I realized that Bella wouldn't leave without a fight, I was caught between feeling both scared and elated. My stupid fucking ass had even called her a 'bitch' and 'cunt;' she was so far from that shit that it was funny. I should have been calling her a queen and groveling on my knees.

I was so fucking angry that she still wanted me, so I'd fucked her hard on the desk. I'd hoped that would make her hate me enough to leave, but to my surprise, she fucking enjoyed it. Bella was everything. She pleased me to no end. There was nothing sexually that she wouldn't try. She gave me all her trust, and that was a fucking powerful thing.

I knew that I had to be the one to stop if shit got out of hand because she wouldn't as long as I was happy. I had been cruel after our fight, fucking her like a whore. The moment my cock entered her pussy, my world became focused again. After feasting on her, there was no way I could go back to my old diet. It would take a lifetime and more for me to get enough of the drug that was my babydoll. Being inside of her made me feel like I was being put back together again. There were still lots of broken pieces of me, but she was the master of my puzzle, the only one that could make the picture into something worth seeing.

When she recovered from whatever the fuck is wrong with her, I was going to worship the ground she walked on. I was done trying to convince her to leave. I'd been deluding myself by thinking that I could fucking live without her; I couldn't, and I wouldn't try either. She had my heart, body, and soul for as long as she wanted them. Just the thought of fucking another bitch made me feel fucking sick to my stomach. I never thought I'd be a one woman man, but I was now.

I would be a better husband and father than my dad ever was. Bella and our kids wouldn't have to wait at the dinner table wondering where Daddy was, because I wouldn't ever fucking leave them. And god, did I want it; I wanted all the shit I never thought I wanted before. I wanted a home with my babydoll, children, a dog, and a fucking picket fence. Well, a bulletproof fence in my case, because of my Mobster status. I wanted a family to call my own. I wanted to wake up with the love of my life everyday. I wanted to see her glowing, her belly round with our child inside. I wanted to fight and make up for a lifetime. I just wanted Bella to be my wife. If that would be all we ever had, that would be enough. I knew it was going to take a shitload of work on my part, but I was willing to go the distance.

I heard someone knock at door. I went over to open it. A pale and stressed-looking Marcus entered. He gave me a hug, squeezing my shoulders lightly.
"Is… is… it Bella?" I could barely choke out the fucking words.

He looked at me and gave a tight smile. "No, Edward, the doctor wanted to let you know that she's fine, but because of the stress of the past few days, she has gone into shock. When I explained to him about the ambush and now this, he was astonished that she hadn't gone into it earlier. Her vitals are good and she's asleep. He told me that if you promise to control yourself and not cause any more damage, he will let you back in the clinic. She will be scared when she wakes up, and a comforting face will help."

I stared down at my shoes. Of course she was in fucking shock. I had read about that shit and knew that it was caused when something traumatic happened to someone. It was the body's way of dealing with it. Her mind couldn't take all the shit she'd been through, so it had retreated into unconsciousness.

I let out a sigh of relief because my babydoll wasn't seriously hurt. For a minute, I'd thought that she may have ingested some of the poison. There was no fucking way I could stay away from her. I would go to the clinic and remain by her side until she woke up. Though, there were still a few questions I had before I could go to Bella.

Marcus was standing by the bar with two snifters of whiskey in his hands. I took one and we both sat down. He chugged his down before turning to me.

"Son, I'm so sorry that Bella was hurt. Di is with her now and hasn't left her side. As you know, we consider her our goddaughter and a part of this family. Seeing my brother… I thought he was dead." He choked up.

I went over and poured him another glass and grabbed the bottle for good measure. We were going through a lot of fucking liquor at this house.

He got himself together and began speaking. "That bitch Gianna was playing us from the beginning. Everything was orchestrated to bring our Organization down. I just got off the phone with Liam. He's holding one of the guys that worked with her. The fucker is singing like a canary. He's scared as shit and begging for his life. It appears Gigi was out for revenge."

My eyes snapped up and I snorted. "Why the fuck would she need to get revenge on us? We've known her for years."

He got up and began pacing the room. "Edward, I've just found out that Gianna was not who we originally thought. The man that raised her was not her biological father. Her real dad was Matteo Zimbelli."

I jumped up out of my seat. "Matteo the Bull? That fucker that you had put in prison for trying to kill my father?"

He nodded. "The very one. He went down when Gigi was a baby. Her mom divorced him and married Francesco, who we believed to be her real dad up until now. Matteo wrote her letters her whole life. He sent her lavish gifts from prison, and in her eyes, he hung the goddamn moon. She loved him and worked most of her life to get revenge. We keep records on every member, but they slipped through our hands.

"Francesco wasn't high level, so no one ever really dug into his background, and as far as we knew, Matteo had never fathered any children. It seems Gianna's mother was already fucking Francesco before Matteo went to the Pen. It was nothing for her to convince him to sign his name on the birth certificate as Gianna's father. She felt bad, though, and still let Matteo keep in touch.

"In his correspondence, he blamed the Volturi for everything bad that had happened in his life. He bemoaned the fact that he and his baby girl were separated while we lived well. She grew up hating the Volturi and everyone that was a member. When Matteo died in that prison fight, she assumed that we had had him killed.

"Of course, that wasn't the case. I felt that him spending a couple of years in prison was enough. Usually, we would have had him killed, but your father told me he didn't want another bad thing weighing on his conscious, so I didn't protest. However, Matteo got himself killed by starting shit with that Spanish Mobster."

This was a lot of fucking shit to process. Gianna hadn't ever really been a part of our family at all. If you'd have asked me a few days ago if I trusted her, I would have said yes. To know that she was so close made me feel uneasy. How many other traitors were among us? History and movies taught me that anyone could fucking turn on you, but still this shit came as a surprise.

Gigi's real father had stabbed my father when I was ten. Back then they'd told me, Mom, and Ali that he'd been in a car accident because they didn't want us to worry, but when I got older and joined up, my godfathers had confessed the truth to me.

Marcus walked back over to his chair. "At your request, I've added extra security to your family in Washington. Gigi's visit was not accidental, and I would not risk anything happening to your mom or Alice. My men haven't received any threats yet." That was a fucking weight lifted off my shoulders.

"How was Gigi planning on escaping?" I asked.

He closed his eyes. "She'd drenched Caius' soup with a type of poison that would cause a heart attack. She used the money she received when her parents died to create an enterprise. We had been doing business with her umbrella corporation for years. It was hidden under several layers, and we never had a clue. She got close to my brother so she'd have a foot into our Organization. It's that old saying, 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'."

He snorted. "One of her henchmen is being questioned by Benjamin as we speak. He worked in the vineyard so he could be close when the time came. He was supposed to sneak the vial into the cook's private quarters so that when we searched, we'd find the bottle and think the chef was our traitor. I'm guessing that she was going to make Bella ingest the same food as Caius so both deaths could have been blamed on the cook.

"Her plan was falling apart because she and the guy had an argument. He had gotten cold feet and wouldn't help her. She had her men attack us in Chicago and Italy so that she could get us all in the safe house. She was planning to have Di and I killed next. She was going to set it up as a car accident, so there wouldn't be any questions.

"After that, she had planned to go for you while you were in mourning for Bella. Her man told me that she was confident that you were a whore and would easily fall for her charms. By that time, Caius and I would be dead, so you'd be the leader of the Volturi. She was supposed to marry you and then have you killed, so that she, as the grieving widow, could take your place. She thought that since she was business savvy and had lots of friends, she would be allowed to lead. Her ultimate coup would have been naming the Organization after her father. Gigi put a lot of time into her plans for revenge. She was a conniving and ruthless cunt."

I threw my glass against the wall. My blood was fucking boiling. "That bitch! She was going to murder my babydoll and my whole fucking family. I'm going to fucking cut her up into little pieces and burn the ashes. I wish she wasn't dead so I could kill her ass again. That little cocksucking bitch! She honestly thought I would marry her ass if my babydoll was dead! She had to be out of her fucking mind!" I swore and paced until I started to feel dizzy.

Marcus let me get the frustration and anger out of my system before he interrupted me. "Calm down, son. It's over now. We've got everyone that works for her in custody. Some escaped, but they are bit players and it's only a matter of time before we catch them anyway. Bella and your godfather need you to keep a level head and be there for them. Let me handle the tough shit. I wasn't there the day your father died, and I've always regretted not being the one to get revenge for you. Let me handle the Gianna situation. I owe it to you."

He looked older than I'd ever seen him. His face was drawn and there were deep circles under his eyes. I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Marcus, I consider you my blood. You have never and will never fail me. You were the reason that I didn't go to prison for killing the bastard who murdered my father. I know I don't say the shit enough, but I love you, old man."

He smiled before pushing me away, hating to get sentimental in front of people. "Go see Bella. Let her know I'm thinking of her."

Our clinic was located a few miles from the actual house. It had all the best state of the art equipment, with three full time doctors and five nurses on staff. If we needed more people, we had contacts we could outsource from the main hospitals.

My armed guard drove me to the building. Alec was also there with Bella and Caius; he was stable, so the doctor was going to release him soon. I hopped out of the car, wishing I had some damn flowers or something, but I had been apart from my babydoll for too long and I couldn't wait to see her. Dr. Moretti, the one who'd kicked me out, greeted me when I walked though the door.

"Hello Mr. Cullen. I hope you've got your little problem under control. Your girlfriend is resting. Your godmother has her on the best sheets and is hovering around her like a mother hen. Try talking to her. She needs to wake up so we can monitor her."

I promised him that I would, but there was just one more question I had to ask. "Did you see her naked?"

He turned towards me, a small smile on his face. "Yes, but I am a doctor, and there was nothing sexual about it."

I clenched my fists. "Forget whatever the fuck you saw. I'm going to make sure we add a female physician to this place because I'll be damned if you see her body again. Not that I plan on her needing to visit you in the future."

He was staring at me in complete and utter shock. I just smirked and strode past him, bumping his shoulder as I went. I knew I shouldn't have said that shit, but it pissed me off that another man had laid eyes on my babydoll, even though it was for medical purposes. Men got boners all the fucking time; I hoped he didn't get a hard-on while looking at her, but you never know. I had to put the good doctor in his place.

A nurse led me to Bella's room. Di was asleep on the couch next to the bed. She had a book resting on her chest. I walked over, kissed her on the forehead, and insisted that she go home to Marcus. She didn't want to leave, but I assured her that her husband needed her more right now. She eventually conceded and allowed a guard to take her back to the house.

I sat on the bed next to my babydoll. Her lustrous hair was spread around the firm pillows. She was as pale as a fucking ghost. She was attached to a heart monitor that beeped regularly. All she was wearing was a pair of sweats and a fucking tank top. She looked angelic. Her breasts were heaving slightly with every breath she took. I cursed my dick for getting hard while I stared at her. She didn't look sick at all--it just looked like she was sleeping.

I longed to see her big chocolate eyes and that beautiful blush again. She was so fucking beautiful that it hurt to look at her. I had always enjoyed watching her sleep and tonight was no different. Sadly, she wasn't mumbling my favorite words. I needed to hear that shit or I would never go to sleep again.

I leaned down to kiss her lips. She tasted just as sweet as ever. Her eyes opened slowly. I smiled, hoping that she could see the love in my eyes. She just stared up at me. Then she said the last thing I expected.

"Go away, Edward. I want to be alone."

I was so surprised that I blurted out the first thing that came to my goddamn mind. "I love you, babydoll."

Bella continued to look at me, but there was no love or anything in her face. She had never looked at me like that before. I was starting to worry. What the fuck happened? My blood was turning cold. I could sense that some bad shit was about to occur. She turned her back to me. I looked down at her beautiful creamy porcelain neck. I wanted to touch her so badly.

"You say you love me, but I know you're here to try to get me to leave you again. I don't have the strength to fight with you anymore, so do what you want."

I gave in to my urge and kissed her neck. She tensed up. "Don't. Just leave. Please."

This was not going the way I had planned at all. I thought she would wake up and we would re-affirm our love. I was going to start spoiling her like I should have done from the beginning.

"Babydoll, I'm not going to do that again. I can't fucking live without you. I already apologized and you accepted. Remember? I don't want to fight. I just want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Don't send me away."

I heard a broken sob come out of Bella's throat. I reached down to stroke her hair but she cringed away from me. A pain shot through my heart. I felt like crying but I couldn't get the tears to fall. My eyes started to burn with the strain of trying to hold it in. I bit down on my fist to stop the noise that was bubbling in my throat.

She sat up and turned around to face me. Fat teardrops were falling out of her doe eyes. I hated to see her fucking cry. Her chest was heaving because her breathing was erratic. She looked so defeated and sad.
"Edward, I forgave you, but maybe I shouldn't have." I reached out to touch her but she shook her head. My heavy hand dropped to my side.

"I came close to dying tonight. That experience put things into prospective. The stuff you said to me in your office... some of it must have been true or you wouldn't have said it. I know that you're sorry, but you're always sorry. I can't keep waiting for your next blow up or until you decide that you don't want me after all. I love you too much already. If you ever decided to leave me, I would fall apart never to be put back together again. I can't need you that much.

"Look on the bright side: you finally got your wish, what you've wanted since the first time we met. I'm breaking up with you."

I sat down in the nearest chair. It was hard to breathe. I started hypervenalating. I could hear Bella asking me if I was okay, but I couldn't fucking speak. She didn't fucking want me. Shit. My babydoll was leaving me. I was going back to being alone. I couldn't handle this shit.

I stood up and went over to her. She looked worried and her eyes were swollen from crying so goddamn much. Before she could protest, I hugged her trembling body to mine.

"Please, Bella. Don't do this. I told you that I didn't mean any of the shit I said. I'm sorry. I promise that I won't leave you. You and me are forever."

She sighed and tangled her fingers into my hair, gently scratching my scalp. A small moan escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"Edward, you are the first man I have ever loved, and you will be the only one I ever will. I wish that were enough, but it's not anymore. We have an extreme physical attraction to one another, but we also spend a lot of time fighting. You always say you're sorry, but you continue to hurt me. I wanted a family with you. You've already made your thoughts clear on kids. What if you decided that you didn't want the same life as me? You would go away and I would never recover. Let's just end it now, before there are divorce papers and children to think about."

She stopped to wipe her eyes. "You have no idea how hard it will be for me to live without your love, but worrying day after day that you might get tired of me or leave is worse. Twice, you have made fun of my body. Edward, you said our kids would be freaks. It makes me sad that you think so low of me. You talked about making love to another woman. How do I know that one day you won't follow through on that?

"Yes, you say you didn't mean those things, but there's some truth in every statement. Maybe it was your subconscious saying what you've been thinking all along. I tried to be brave and pretend that it didn't hurt, but it did. Hell, it still does. Please, just go away. I want to be alone." She dropped her hand and turned back towards the wall.

My breath hitched. I couldn't fucking believe this shit. I was under the impression that she'd forgiven me, but she hadn't. Hell, I knew my pathetic ass had screwed up, but I didn't know it would fucking lose me my babydoll.

I couldn't hold the anger in anymore. I picked up a table and chucked it against a wall. I threw vases, flowers, and pillows all over the room. All I could see was a red haze. I screamed and turned the couch over.

"Fuck, fuckity, fuck! What in the hell do I have to do to make you believe me?! I won't fucking leave you! Ever. I couldn't cheat on you because you're the only woman I want. I do want children with you. I want us to raise a family and grow old together. Yes, I've been an asshole in the past. I was trying to make you leave me then. I thought it would be for the best. Obviously, I was a stupid fuck, but I've learned my lesson.

"You are so goddamn beautiful that it blinds me sometimes. Don't ever think that I find you unattractive. Do you know how hard it was to even think that shit, let alone say it aloud?! I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, but give me one more fucking chance. I promise not to fuck it up this time. I love you too much. Please babydoll."

Before she could answer, two security men rushed in to see what all the ruckus was about. I told them everything was fine and sent them on their way. Unfortunately, Dr. Moretti came to stand in the doorway. He had a stern look on his face.

"I warned you, Cullen. You are hereby banned from the clinic tonight. You can come back tomorrow when you've calmed down."

I turned to face him. "Fuck you, asshole! I come and fucking go as I please. Shut the fuck up!"

The doctor looked at me like I was a psyche patient. I was going to rip his fucking head off until I heard my babydoll's voice.

"Just go, Edward. I don't want you here anymore. I'm going to sleep and then visit Caius. Leave before I ask Marcus to come and get you."

All the fight left me. I nodded my head and turned around to leave. My fucking heart was in a million pieces. My fucking dream was over before it ever began.

I stalked out of the clinic, ignoring everyone. My guard came to drive me back to the main house. Everything looked fuzzy. All I could see was my babydoll sending me away.

When we pulled up to the house, I went over to the side yard and retched up everything that was in my fucking stomach. I hated to vomit, but I couldn't hold that shit in because of the way I was feeling. The guard asked me if I was okay. I waved him off.

Di was walking down the stairs as I entered the villa. She took one look at me and hurried the rest of the way.

"What's wrong, bambino? Is Bella all right?" Her eyes widened .  I was fucking scaring her and that wasn't right, soI took a few breaths to calm down.

"Come to the kitchen with me. I need to talk to you."

She linked her arm through mine. Di was like my fucking second mother. She had known my father and was extremely fond of Esme. She treated me and Ali like her own kids. She and Marcus didn't have any children because she'd gotten raped when she was younger, and it messed up her reproductive organs. She hadn't know us back then. She met my godfather four years after the crime and they fell in love and got married. Marcus had the asshole that had raped her castrated and killed in the prison yard. I'm not sure if he ever told her, but I was fucking glad that he got revenge for his woman. I'd do the same if some asshole ever assaulted my babydoll.

Di's dark eyes looked up at me. She was taller than my babydoll but still much shorter than me. Like my mother, age agreed with her. They got more beautiful every year. Marcus and Carlisle were very lucky men. '

Would I get to be by Bella's side as she got older? Would we count each other's gray hairs one day? Considering a life without her in it didn't make any goddamn sense. She was mine. I wouldn't give her up.
I went over to the cabinet to get some liquor. I poured two glasses of black Sambuca and took a chair next to my godmother.

"I fucked up. Bella said she forgave me, but now she wants to break up with me. I've never done this relationship shit, so I need some help. It can't be over because I fucking love her more than life itself. Please, tell me how to get her back."

I drank greedily from my cup. I was going to be fucked up in the morning, but I didn't fucking care anymore. Maybe I'd become a goddamn alcoholic and drink myself to death. Without my babydoll, life didn't matter.

Di glanced over at me. "Edward, Bella went into shock. Sometimes when people come out of it, they become depressed or angry. After my… rape, I was angry at the world. I had been such a happy person, but afterwards I was just mad. I lashed out at all my family and friends. You have to give her time.

"I know you love her and she loves you. Learn to woo her. Every woman wants romance. I'm not talking about expensive stuff. The best thing a man can give a woman is something heartfelt. My favorite gifts from Marcus were the ones that were original. Let her know you feel lucky to be her man." I heard what she was saying but it was hard for me.

"I'm not good at planning shit that's thoughtful. I've never had to before because all of the other bit—women I've been with just liked stuff. I'm better at flashing my credit card or writing a check. I don't really know what my babydoll wants from me. I'm just so fucking frustrated."

"She just wants you, bambino. I know it's hard for you. Give yourself to Bella. You've talked to her. You know what she likes. She is a woman in love and that's beautiful. I'd hate to see you two miss out on this chance. Love doesn't come around often, so do whatever you have to do to keep your happiness."

I leaned over and kissed Di on the cheek. "I love you, godmother. I promise to stop being an idiot and do Bella right. Thanks for the advice."

I walked Di up to her bedroom. I wanted to go and see my babydoll, but she was still angry. I would give her tonight without my stupid ass.

Trying to go to sleep without Bella proved to be tough. I was used to having her lying on my chest. All I felt was emptiness when she wasn't with me. Of course my dick was fucking hard as a rock, too. Now that it had been inside my babydoll's paradise, it didn't want to settle for my hand. When my erection got too painful, I stroked myself until I came. It didn't do a goddamn thing, though. I needed Bella. I tossed and turned for hours trying to go to sleep.

I eventually gave up and headed to the clinic. Even if Bella didn't want me there, I would sleep in the hall, just to be close to her. I knew I was a pussy whipped motherfucker, but I couldn't be without her now. Thankfully, Dr. Moretti was not on duty when I got there. A nurse batted her lashes and smiled at me as I headed to Bella's room. I kept my mouth in a grim line and didn't pay her any fucking attention.  The only nurse I was into was sitting down the hall. My cock expanded with the memory of that fucking lapdance.  

Great, I thought, So now I'm going to have to beg Bella to let me stay while sporting a massive erection.

I stopped by to see Caius. He was asleep. His room was covered with flowers. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. He looked even paler than usual. I was just glad that he would be okay. I wrote him a letter in Italian and left it by his bed. It was just some encouraging words, shit from the heart. I touched his hand before leaving the room.

When I got to my babydoll's room, I discovered that she wasn't there. I panicked. Where could she be? Had she gone back to the house without me? I was just going to ask a nurse where she was when I heard her laughter. It was coming from a room a couple of doors down from hers. I ran down the hallway and stopped when I got to the door. What I saw sent me in a rage. It took every one of my fucking calming methods to keep me from making a scene.

Bella was sitting on the bed next to Alec with a book in her hand. His head was turned towards her and she was reading aloud. She was holding his hand and making small circles on the back of it. She was still in her sweats and tank top. Alec's chest was completely bare. They looked pretty fucking cozy for people that didn't know each other. White hot jealousy coursed through my veins. I knew the guy got shot trying to save us, but fuck, he was touching my babydoll, or make that she was touching him. I cleared my throat to alert them to my presence.

Alec was the first to speak. "Hello, Mr. Cullen. Bella here was kind enough to read to me, even though I'm the one that owes her for saving my life."

She actually smiled at the fucker. I walked over and tried to kiss her on the cheek. She slipped past me and went to sit on a chair on the other side of the bed. That shit fucking hurt. She could be all chummy with my bodyguard, but she treated me like I had the fucking plague. I had been nice. I just wanted to see her and make sure she was okay.

Bella began reading her book again, silently this time. Alec was confused. He looked between Bella and I and then raised his eyebrows. I scowled at him and walked over to her.

"Hello, babydoll. I'm glad to see you up and about. Did you get some sleep?" See, I could have a conversation without cursing or acting like an idiot. She ignored my ass. I tried again, using an even friendlier tone. This time she answered me.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. I rested well. I look forward to going home tomorrow. I've missed Jasper and all of my friends."

That wasn't the reply I was looking for, but I would take what I could get at this point. And why in the fuck was she calling me Mr. Cullen again? I loved her. We had fucked each other into the ground and I was back to just being her boss. I didn't like this shit at all.

"Bella, I understand you're angry at me, but we can work it out. I don't like it when you call me Mr. Cullen. I'm your boyfriend and your lover. I love to hear you call me Edward. Please just stop being angry and talk to me. I know I messed up, but I love you. We have a future together. Let's not get hung up on the past."

I reached down to stroke her hair, but once again she turned away. She put her book down and stood up to pace. I had almost forgotten Alec was still in the room until he spoke.

"Bella, I'm fine. Why don't you go and talk to Edward? You can come back later and finish reading to me. I was just going to take a nap anyways. They have me on so much pain medicine that I can only stay awake for a little while. Besides, you're much too beautiful. You'll distract me from my flowers."

Once again she smiled at him. A lovely blush lit up her cheeks--that was my fucking blush! I was the one that got to see her like this. Was she attracted to this fucker? Had I completely lost her? The thought of her and Alec or Mike or some other fucker living happily ever after made my blood run cold. I had never been so jealous in my life. I've never had a reason to covet another man, but right then I would have given anything be the reason for Bella's reddened cheeks.

I heard her mumble something about coming back before we both exited the room. I took off my hoodie and put it over Bella's tank top. She wasn't wearing a fucking bra and I didn't want any other fuckers to see her like that. It was bad enough that Alec had. She must have seen how serious I looked because she took it without a word. We walked outside and a guard drove us back to the house.

I spent the entire drive studying the beautiful girl-woman that sat next to me. In the light of the Italian sun, she was even more beautiful than I remembered with her long silky hair was draped over one of her creamy shoulders. I longed to be the strap on her tank so that I could caress her body. I almost groaned when she reached down to scratch her stomach, giving me a glimpse of the smooth flat skin.

Her clothes were baggy and didn't give away her figure, but I knew what was under that shit. I had spent plenty of nights acquainting myself with her tight body. I knew how to make her scream and whimper from a simple touch. She was mine. That wasn't going to ever change. I was the only man she let inside her and it was going to stay that way. She didn't speak to me and I didn't press her. The least I could do was give her time to work out her feelings.

Instead of going into the house, Bella wanted to go to the fields. Because of the other night's activities, work had been cancelled for today. Marcus was handling the fallout and had to question all of the workers. We walked until we reached a spot where she wanted to sit. I sat down on the dirt next to her. She played with her hands for a long time.

I started to get antsy. "Spit it out, Bella," I said when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

She turned around to look at me. Her big brown eyes held such contempt. It was the way she had looked at me in the clinic room. "I can't be your secretary anymore. I will write up a letter when we get back. We can't see each other. I mean, I know Jasper is planning on asking Alice to marry him, so we would have to see each other for those events, but we can't date anymore. I love you, Edward, but I'm confused and everything is so overwhelming right now. It's better this way."

I fucking lost it. "Better for who?! Just the other day you were talking about children, a future, and our lives together. I can't help what I am. Are you scared to be with me because I'm in the Mafia?" She shook her head. "Then what the fuck is wrong?! We made love in the bathtub. I left you to talk to Marcus and then I heard god knows what. I rushed upstairs and Gigi was dead. Caius was half dead and you fucking lost consciousness. I know you're scared, babydoll, but please, just help me understand."

She began to cry. I pulled her over into my lap. She buried her face into my chest. I kissed her forehead.

"Edward... I'm just so angry. I'm angry that someone tried to kill you and your family. I'm angry that I feel like we can't be together. I'm angry at you for what you said that day in your office. You don't know how badly I want to believe you when you say you won't leave me, but I just can't. What if something bad happens again and you decide to break up with me to keep me safe? I'm not strong enough to go through that again. I thought I was, but I'm not. You were right all along. We can't be together."

I lifted her head. "Don't ever fucking say that!! We can't be apart. I was an asshole. I realize that I shouldn't have said that shit. I swear on my father's grave that I didn't mean any of it. I don't fucking deserve you or your love, babydoll, but I want it more than anything in this world. Don't end it. It will get better. Things won't always be like this. I can't live without you. I need you so goddamn much that it fucking scares me, too."

She kissed my lips but I could tell her heart wasn't into it because she pulled away after a second. "I'm sorry, Edward. You're a wonderful man. You will meet someone and fall in love again. You'll forget all about me. It was a fun experience, but you and I both know that it isn't long term. We have to stop deluding ourselves. I'll be in the house packing."

Before I could come up with a rebuttal, she turned around and ran to the villa.

I lay down on the dirt and cried. It was over. The best thing that had ever happened to me was gone. I fucking knew this shit would happen. I knew that I was incapable of loving someone the way she deserved, but I went against the grain and tried the shit anyways. She had said I would find someone else, but I wouldn't ever fucking recover. Bella would always have my heart and soul. I didn't even know I had those parts until she came along.  I sobbed until my chest caved in and my eyes were dry. I had nothing else to give.

I didn't eat dinner that night. I spent it in my room staring at the ceiling. When this trip began, we were so fucking happy. I had taken Bella's virginity and she had given me her undying love, only it had died. All the time we spent together was gone. The sex had been mind blowing. It was truly the best of my life. This trip was supposed to bring us closer together, but it had only torn us apart.

Sleep eluded me, so I went to the clinic to visit Caius again. We talked for a while. His voice was weak and he was fucking exhausted but, he showed a spark of energy when I mentioned the problems between Bella and me. He insisted that I not give up. He told me that after what happened with Gigi, he was aware how rare love could be.

Marcus, Di, and he were planning to return to Chicago next week. I knew that finding out his lover's betrayal would always weigh on him, so I invited him to come stay with me in Seattle once he got out, and he accepted. I figured we might as well be two sorry sacks of shit together. We said our goodbyes and I headed back to the villa. It was less than five hours until we would be on a plane.

Soon, I decided to call Jasper and let him know what was happening. He was probably going to beat my ass for almost getting his baby sister killed, but I needed his help. Cai was right; I was going to have to fight to keep my babydoll. I knew I would never find a woman more perfect than her. I loved her and that couldn't just go away because she had doubts in us. We were meant to be together.

"Hey, Ali Cat. Can I speak to your boyfriend?"

She giggled. "You only call me Ali Cat when you're sad. What's the matter? Is Bella okay?" She was going to find out anyway.

"Put the phone on speaker." I heard Jasper come into the room and ask her what was wrong. She told him I was on the phone.

He fucking freaked. "What the fuck is wrong, Cullen?! If you let something bad happen to my sister, I swear to god I will kill your fucking ass. Where is Bells? Put her on right now!"

I pulled my fingers through my hair. I could hear Jaz apologize to Alice for cursing in front of her. Is that what good boyfriends did? I used vulgar language with my babydoll all the damn time. Maybe that was one of the reasons she was leaving my ass.

Before I told them anything, I swore them to secrecy. The last thing I needed was Esme and the rest of my family worrying. They promised so I told them everything. I let every detail pour out of me. Obviously, I left out all the sex me and Bella had, but I told them all the rest of the details.

Jasper was angry, but Ali was scared. He made me promise to get Bella home safely by tomorrow or he would be on a flight to get her himself. Ali assured me that Bella did love me and was probably just reacting to the stress. After several threats from Jasper and love words from Ali, I hung up. Miraculously, I felt better after that conversation, so I went to seek out my babydoll.

She was in the dining room eating with Di and Marcus. I sat down across from her as the cook went to fetch me a plate. She had changed into a blue sundress with a white bow under the breast. Her hair was piled on top of her head and a silk ribbon was tied around it. My dick throbbed painfully. I wanted to fuck her there and then. I didn't even care that my godfather and godmother were here.

I watched as she forked a pineapple into her mouth. Some of the juice clung to her bottom lip. I fucking moaned. Everyone turned to stare at me.

"Are you okay, son?" Marcus asked. I coughed and then nodded.

 Di was worried--I could see the lines in her forehead. Bella didn't say anything.

My food came and I picked at it. I didn't have a fucking appetite anymore. Finally, Bella left to go finish packing and I followed her. We worked in companionable silence. It was nice just being in the same room with her. Every time she lifted something, her dress would rise a little and I could see her thighs. Her dress strap kept falling and a few times, I leaned over to fix it. It was an excuse to touch her. I was pathetic. After awhile, we finished and went to sleep in separate bedrooms. The rest of my night was spent tossing and turning in an empty bed.

In the morning, we said our goodbyes to everyone. Marcus and Di were sad to see us go. We also went to the clinic to say goodbye to Cai and Alec. Their doctors assured us that they would make full recoveries.

Bella left Alec the book she had been reading to him. He smiled and she kissed his forehead. That sight made me sick to my stomach. Those lips were mine. I knew I was a caveman, but I didn't give a fuck anymore.  Fortunately, one of the nurses was all too happy to assume the job of reader. Alec and Cai would be coming to Seattle, so it wouldn't be long before we saw them again.

A car drove us to the airport and we boarded the jet. It was nothing like our first trip when Bella had let me pleasure her in the bedroom. This time I worked on my laptop while she read a book. The few times I struck up a conversation, she shot me down. It was fucking excruciating. I had to go to the bathroom a couple of times to rub one out. It was the only way I could keep myself from attacking my babydoll.

We landed in Seattle at night. The moment we stepped off the plane, my pixie of a sister launched herself at us.

"I missed you guys so much. You have to show me the pictures. Did you go shopping? Did you buy me anything? What did you wear? I love you guys." She was tiny but she had a vice grip on our shoulders.

Jasper walked up behind her and gently pulled her away. "I'm sorry. She had way too much coffee and sugar today."

He  hugged Bella. I noticed that he held onto her a lot longer than Ali had. He was studying her face and whispering something in her ear. She whispered something back to him. They both looked over at me. Fuck. He was going to kill my ass if she told him about me popping her cherry.

Before I could form an excuse, he walked over and slapped me on the back. It would leave a bruise, but at least he didn't jump on me.

"My baby sis said that you showed her a good time, Cullen. I'm glad that I don't have to kill my future brother in law," he said smiling.

Bella coughed and looked away. Ali took this as her cue. "Bella, why don't you ride with me? We can leave the boys to do man stuff and go get some dinner. Does that sound good?" My babydoll nodded. "Great, my Lambo is this way. Leave your stuff with Edward."

My sister's car was so fucking shiny happy people. It was bright yellow and all girly. I had given it to her after she completed rehab for her eating disorder. She loved it. My babydoll waved at Jaz but didn't acknowledge me at all. 

Since it was cold, she had changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a silver sweater. Her hair was in a mess of shiny curls. I fucking wanted her again. Watching her ass as she walked over to Alice's car almost killed me. My balls were so fucking blue that they were in danger of falling off. I didn't want her going off without me, but her personal guard was back on duty and would keep her safe.

The chauffeur opened the door for me and Jasper before loading some of our things into the trunk. The rest would be loaded into the SUV behind us. I looked over at Jaz to see that he was studying me intently.

"She didn't even say goodbye to you. She must be really angry." I knew he would pick up on that. I had told him how it was, but I guess seeing it in person was different.

"Yeah, I'm not going to lie. I fucked up. Do you have any suggestions of how I can get her to forgive me?" I asked.

He searched my face for a minute. Then the fucker laughed. "Nope. You're on your own. My baby sis can be stubborn, as I'm sure you know. It's going to take a grand gesture to get her back. Personally, I would rather she join a nunnery and never talk to men again, but that's not going to happen. You make her happy. Don't give up just because you hit a rough patch."

I don't know how that fucker did it, but his words made me feel calmer. For the first time in as many days, I felt okay. I had a goal. I always reached my goals. That was one of the reasons I was so successful in business.

We went to the club to get ready for tonight. I texted Bella and told her that she had the night off but she insisted on coming in. She was still going to try to quit but I wasn't fucking having that shit. I needed her. The club needed her. She was the best goddamn secretary I ever had. Shit was finally running smoothly.

I left Jaz at the club so I could run a few errands. I took my Phantom, because I had to go pick up mom and Rosie to help me with something. I told them my situation, and they were more than happy to help me win over Bella. Alice was going to kill me for not including her, but she would have plenty of work later. Besides, my babydoll needed her.

When that was done, I dropped them off and went back to the club to get ready for tonight. My lair seemed morose and empty without my sunshine. It was as much hers and it was mine.

I hoped that by tonight she would be naked in bed next to me. I stroked myself to climax because that was the only way I could get my pants zipped, and then I showered and changed. I wore black slacks and a green V-neck cashmere pullover because my babydoll liked to ogle my chest. I did the usual to my hair and pulled on some Italian loafers.

My babydoll walked in an hour after I got ready. Felix, Demetri, and Chanel came to talk as soon as they heard we were back. Bella had bought a cheesecake during her dinner with Alice, so she doled out slices as they caught up.

 My babydoll had changed into a clingy black dress that was backless. Dee was practically slobbering over her, but he wasn't touching. Her face was radiant as she made jokes with everyone. I wondered if she would ever look at me with such joy again? Scowling, I rubbed my chest because my fucking dead heart was hurting.

I walked over and wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck. She tried to pull away, but I held her in place. She smelled wonderful, like her usual strawberries and wildflowers. She wasn't wearing my necklace, though. It made me fucking angry, but I held it inside.

Chanel pulled Bella away from me. "Edward, share. You've had her to yourself for over a week. We missed her."

I snorted. "Didn't anyone miss me? I am your fucking boss."

They all made smart ass comments about how I didn't cook or look good in a dress. I smirked and kissed the top of my babydoll's head. Once again, she tried to pull away from me but I held tight. Eventually, they got their fill and went to do some work, leaving Bella and I alone.

The first words out of her mouth shocked me. "This is my two weeks notice. I have a formal letter of resignation that I will leave on you desk. If you hire someone soon, I promise to train them for you."

I laughed. "You're not quitting. I don't want another secretary. Why don't you just give up this fucking charade and forgive me? We both know you will--you always do. Please, don't make this harder than it has to be." Apparentaly, that was the wrong fucking thing to say.

"You arrogant asshole! That is one of the many reasons I'm breaking up with you. You think I'll forgive you for anything…"

That's all she got out before I grabbed her. I kissed her hard, sucking on her lower lip until she gave me her tongue. I licked into her mouth and she groaned. Her hands fisted in my hair, causing my dick to leap in anticipation. I cupped her ass and pressed her into my erection. I kissed down her neck until I reached her breasts. I took a nipple in mouth through the flimsy fabric. Once again , she wasn't wearing a fucking bra. My hand went to her bare lower back. She bucked against me, and I massaged her until she whimpered.

Soon, we were struggling to catch our breaths.

"We can't keep doing this, Edward. It's not good for either of us. We fight and make up over and over again. It's not healthy."

"I don't want to ever stop doing that. I want you forever. You're mine and no one else's. So we fight. What couple doesn't? I'll never stop loving you, Bella." I was a drowning man trying to hold onto the only thing that could save me.

I licked her neck. "Tell me you don't feel it. The electricity that goes through your body when I touch you. That same feeling courses through my veins too. We need each other."

I kissed her again. She had one hand on my chest and the other in my hair. My dick was trying to get to her core. I wanted to fuck Bella until she couldn't remember anything. She broke away and smiled at me. It was my smile; the one that melted the ice in my blood. I was so happy that I picked her up and twirled her around.

"Let's go to the lair. I want to make love to you, babydoll. We've never done it in there before. It will be a christening."

She giggled. "That's blasphemous, Edward. And here I thought you were a saint." We both laughed at that lie.

I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. It took all of two seconds for me to put in the code. When we got inside, I set Bella down.

"Edward, we still have a lot to talk about. I'm still unsure of where we stand, but I can't be without you tonight. My vibrator is no match for your sexual skills."

My eyes bugged out of my head. She had tried to masturbate without me. That was not fucking kosher. She only had to ask and I would have gotten her off. "Bella, you never have to turn to electronic devices. I'm always willing and ready."

She walked over and stroked my cock. "I know," she breathed. "Can you do me one favor?" I nodded dumbly. I would do any fucking thing she asked. "Will you play the piano for me?"

Christ, I needed my cock in her molten pussy now. I took a couple of breaths to calm down before agreeing.

We both undressed and changed into pajamas. I wore a pair of blue silk pants and Bella wore the top. I kissed her all the way to the piano. Next, I dipped a finger into her pussy and licked the juices. Her eyes widened, which made me smirk

"What do you want to hear? I can play lots of things. I was accepted to Julliard after high school, but I turned them down to go into business." She looked impressed.

"I can't decide. Just play me something you like. We have similar tastes," she said.

I guided her to the bench. She sat beside me as I began to play. I chose Chopin's "Nocturne" because it had trills that would allow me to show off. It was also a sad piece, but I thought it sounded hopeful towards the end.

The music flowed out of my fingers. I added a few of my own changes. Bella fucking loved it. She kissed my jaw and kept her arm around my waist the whole time. When it was over, she had tears in her eyes. I leaned over and kissed her.

"Edward, that was beautiful. Thank you so much."

She stood up to straddle my lap, grinding her pussy into me and making all kinds of erotic noises. I wrapped my arms around her and deepened our kiss and pulled the top over her head, exposing her gorgeous peaks. I took one of her breasts into my mouth--she arched her back to give me better access. I licked and nipped every inch of her chest. My pants were constraining me, so I stood up and put the top down.

Seconds later, I laid her on the piano. One of my her delicate hands was playing in her dripping pussy. I got my pants off in record time. I moved her hand and replaced it with my tongue. I licked her clit until she cried out. I inserted a finger and she came hard.

"Fuck, Edward. More please."

I fucking loved it when she cursed. I resumed my stroking and licking, this time adding fingers. When I got three in she started riding my hand. She looked sexy as fuck laying on my black piano while I pleasured her. It was one of our mutual fantasies. The reality was much better. I pulled her legs over my shoulders so that I was able to push my tongue deeper. Bella was leaning on her elbows so that she could look down at me.

"You're so sexy, Edward. I love you. Don't stop baby." Her words spurred me on.

I licked and sucked her to two orgasms before he legs gave out.

"You're so fucking beautiful, babydoll. I love you. You don't know how much I missed that. You are my favorite meal."

She fucking blushed. I smiled because it was my blush. She loved me again. Soon, I pulled her off the piano and kissed her mouth. She went for my tongue like it held the secret to life. My dick was resting on her naked stomach, begging for access. She reached down to stroke me. I already had pre-cum and wouldn't last long. I was pulling her to me when she stopped.

"No, I want you to hit it doggy style, Edward. I love that shit."

I swear I fucking died. I was stunned. My babydoll saying shit like that sent me into overdrive. I spun her around, pushing her head onto the piano top. I bent down to kiss and knead her ass. She was still dripping, despite the licking I'd given her.

Snarling, I stood up and plunged into her wet heat. We both moaned.

"Fuck, babydoll. You're always so fucking tight."

Her pussy had my dick in a vice grip. She was heaven and home. I needed it like I needed water. I pulled her hair as I pounded into her. Her creamy skin bunched and contracted with the force of my thrusts. I was pounding her so hard that the piano moved a little bit. She met me thrust for thrust, her whimpers and moans my favorite song. I reached around so I could play with her clit. She screamed as she came.

I wasn't there yet so I kept pounding into her. I trailed light kisses on her back and neck. She was whining again. I pushed harder, letting her feel my entire length. I made sure to hit her G-spot. She was close again. I grabbed her breasts and alternated between squeezing and cupping them. We were making primal sounds. Every time we made love, it sounded like something you'd hear on a safari.

"Edward, I'm close. Harder. Fuck me harder." I complied. I bit her neck as I thrust up into her tight pussy over and over again. I didn't want our fucking to ever end. Bella's walls clenched again as she came hard.

"Edward!!! I can't!"

I pulled her closer to me. "Yes you can. You're my lover. I love you, babydoll. You're the sexiest woman alive. I want you to be mine forever. Your pussy is the best I've ever had. Come one more time for me. Get me off."

My words must have worked because she started pushing her hips towards me. The sound of our flesh slapping together reverberated around the room. I buried my head in her hair, breathing in her unique scent. She reached around to grab my thighs, which helped guide the pace. I was so fucking close. I growled and bit down on her neck as my jizz erupted deep in Bella's walls, triggering her orgasm. We both screamed.

"Fuck, Bella!!!" That's all I could get out because it felt so goddamn good. She collapsed on the piano, and I fell on top of her. We stayed connected until we calmed down.

When I could move, I pulled my dick out of Bella and turned her around. I kissed her so hard that I was sure it would leave bruises. She just clung to me and returned my affection.

"So, do you still want to quit? I need you, babydoll. I would never let you go. I would stalk you and follow you to the ends of the Earth. You know I would."

She smiled. "I see Caveward is back in full force. I love you, but it's complicated. I still think we need some time apart."

I pulled her back to me. "No we don't! I dream about being with you forever, babydoll. Well, that and you naked and writhing. I want everything you want. Don't give up on us."

She kissed my chest. "Edward, no matter what happens, this has been one of the best nights of my life. Most of my most memorable moments involve you. Remember that I love you forever. You deserve to be loved. You aren't a monster."

She was looking up at me with her soulful eyes. Something was wrong. Why hadn't she forgiven me? I was scared shitless, but I put it out of my mind to enjoy tonight. We would have tomorrow to talk. I had the ring, and I was going to spend the day with her and then pop the question.

She took my hand and let me into the bathroom. "How do you want to bust a nut, Mr. Cullen?"

I pushed her up against the wall and proceeded to show her what talking dirty would get her. After several orgasms between us, we got out of the shower. We ate leftovers and chatted. I was starving, and she scolded me for being a little piggy. I just kissed her cheek. She was my reason for being.

The days without my babydoll just showed me how important she was to me. I was now a humbled man. This was the woman for me. There would never be another. We watched a little television before heading to bed.

I thought we would sleep, but my babydoll was voracious. She couldn't get enough. My dick barely had time to recover before she attacked me again. I wasn't fucking complaining, though. She rode me for hours. I fell asleep still inside her sweet pussy. We fucked in every position we knew. My back was fucking sore and my legs were killing me. She wasn't going to be able to walk in the morning, but her beautiful face was glowing with her bliss. I smiled, because I'd do anything to make her happy.

Our lovemaking was almost feverish. Every time I thought I had tired her out, she woke up and went for me again. Eventually, I couldn't take anymore and had to ask her to stop. She pouted at first, but curled on my chest and fell asleep later. I heard her mumbling my favorite words before I passed out for good. I was so tired that I fell into a dreamless sleep.

When I awoke, my babydoll was gone. I had a goofy smile on my face. The clock showed that it was after eleven in the morning, which meant that we had spent over twelve hours making love. I could barely move, but I felt rejuvenated. I didn't hear anyone in the bathroom, so I dragged my ass up and went to the kitchen. She wasn't in there either, so I thought that maybe she went to get us something for breakfast. I texted her, but her phone was out of service.

My stomach dropped. Something bad had happened. I returned to the bedroom. That's when I saw it, an envelope. The Tiffany's box was sitting on top of it. I opened it to reveal Bella's birthday gift. My heart broke.

I knew what this shit meant, but I read the note:

Dear Edward,

I love you so much. You were my first lover. You awakened my body to pleasures I didn't even know existed. I will never forget you. It's just all too hard right now. I thought I could handle what we had, but I can't. It's not even the Mafia thing that scares me. It's my insecure belief that you'll leave me. I can't take the risk. 

I know you mean well now, but what about in the future? I wanted us more than anything, but I have to be realistic. You were right all along. We're too different. Love can come on strongly and then fizzle out quickly. I didn't want that to happen with us. 

You're an amazing man, Edward Cullen. Please forget me and move on. I'm leaving the city next week. If you love me, you'll let me go. I promise to keep myself safe. I won't ever forget you. You made me happier than I've ever been in my life. Please don't come after me. There's nothing you can say that will change my decision. Making love to you last night was amazing. There will never be another, I promise. It breaks my heart to do this to you, but it's for the best.  Please hug your family for me. 

I love you so much. I love you. I love you. I always will. My letter of resignation is on your desk. Every gift you ever bought for me will be left at your penthouse. Your love was enough. I don't need any reminders. We will probably have to see each other again eventually, but hopefully not soon. 

Please don't hate me for leaving you like this. You don't know how hard it was for me to pull myself away from you. I knew that you would never let me go otherwise. You were truly my best friend. I will always love you. You have my heart forever.


Your babydoll

I cried like a fucking baby. She was gone. The fucking darkness was back. I was in hell again, and this time no angel would come to rescue me.


  1. OMG, I'm bawling my eyes out here. I just knew when she gave in that he would wake up and she would be gone. It breaks my heart but I think he needs this as a wake up call. I hope he uses this time apart to learn how to be a better man and live his life better. I want him to either have a male secretary or an older woman (more like a motherly or grandmotherly figure)

  2. i knew it.... i am in a way glad but not.. he is going to go off the deeep end and i hope he doesn't do anything he regrets. it breaks my heart, i knew she would give him one more night. i wonder if jasper knows she is going to leave it was mean of her to lead him on that everything was going to be ok... tissues and a panty change is needed....:(

  3. Oh My Rob ! I understand why she leaves him, but still it hurt to read it. Your fiction is trully amazing.

  4. It's so sad! I know there's more story left, so they
    obviously get back together, but... This is so achy!